Blessings to all,
Today is my 47th birthday ... my children, Rebecca, 16, and Sam, 8, are taking me out for BBQ and chocolate cake.
Thanks for the sharing, sunlight, and encouragement. Thanks for the CWG series support, finality, I have the books and reread them quite a bit ...
I do believe 'saturate' is the key ... the errant messages of unworthiness are from deep and persistent influences: some from home, self and especially religious ritual (at the Catholic Mass, at the point of the holy of holies, we are to bend heads, at every Eucharistic celebration, and claim "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you ...") It is no wonder to me that a lot of the cafe members whose words and sharings I appreciate the most are/or/were at one time Catholic. What a journey from a large 'C' understanding of God and Self to the small 'c'!
So, for me, the gift I give myself this day is the commitment to this saturation of a new perception, a clear- seeing, a refusal to participate in a wounded idea of me I inherited from others caught in an illusion of sickness...
Just for this day, I will take actions to move myself, in each encounter, thought, act and word:
from unworthiness, to worthy
from shame, to gift
from blame, to blessing
from wounded victim, to one who uses all experiences to exercise compassion
from hurt, to gratitude for all life experiences that join to make me the me I am today. (Not some fuzzy *worthy* I in the future, but NOW, in process, incomplete, stumbling sometimes forward, sometimes back, but moving toward a perception of mySelf that is whole, free, strong and true)
from broken, to whole
from asleep in an illusion, to awake in the moment
from soul-sick, to a life fully, gloriously expressed
from pathology, to one given a creative path, a dark contrast against which a newfound inner light may shine
from dead in small 'self,' to life in a great Self
from any limiting categorization (296.6, divorced, disabled) to a being beyond category, lumping or limits
I am in a body; I am not my body: I am free
Oh, these words are fun, great, freeing to write ... but the living, the living ... there will be the true rub!
Blessings to all whose encouragement has assisted me, has shone light on me, to me, through me when I believed the dark real.
Peace, love to all
Beau
