Oh yes,
I forgot to mention that when I was doing yoga this week I could feel the anxiety, squeezing chakras within me and I was getting visuals of food!! When I'd see this, I'd remind myself to breathe and ask what it was that I was afraid of anxious about.
Luckily, our amazing yoga teacher Cante Wi, knew what was going on with me and did many, many heart opening exercises that cleared me.
Catching myself repeatedly this week really helped ease my unconcious fears and has slowed the pace of my overeating. It has also counteracted the unconsious signals I was giving myself to overeat, Stuff, stop the feeling from surfacing! Shew!!
I have been slowly coming up to this time and I'm so proud of the way things have worked out so far. I've been watching what I eat in a healthy and loving way and I've lost four pounds this week.
I'm not trying to punish myself, nor am I trying to be a quick fixer here.. I Just want & deserve my body back. I know and have known for some time that my dissatisfaction with my body was not only for protection, but my way of not taking responsibility for the things I wanted to accomplish because I was always so preoccupied with my sadness over my weight issue.. That takes lots of time and energy believe Me!
I feel that in particular, the becoming real book has given me many tools in which to work with and I feel so darn blessed even if my emotions are a bit shaky right now.
I'm glad spirit heard my cries for peace and understanding. I'm so glad I finally am getting a glimpse of what it is that has been leading me down such a different path than the one I keep saying I want. :}
Darn that crazy shadow is amazingly agile isn't it? But to see it is to heal it and I've got lots of enthusiasm to heal this issue once and for all.. I feel strong and I feel empowered instead of afraid and half hearted about my ability to deal with this issue in a balanced way.
Bright blessings everyone,
J
