Hey everyone...
Im really into spirituality and all that good alternative stuff. I really want to pursue it into a career, get reiki done etc... but my prblem is, i know i cant heal and pursue into it unless i heal myself first.
I have a REALLY hard time letting go and forgiving. I am unbelievbly jelous that i even dream about it. I love my bf but i struggle with this insise I dunno how to deal with it. I know i need someone's help. He has done little things to provoke my jealousy but at the same time, my dad cheated on my mom and i guess i cant get past that. How am i suppose to trust a guy when even if my parents were married for 16 yrs my dad was still opt to cheating on my mom?! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HELP! Im so jelous that i cancel certain things i would usually do if i were single/.. like going to bars or not hanging out with girls i think are pretty just incase he'll like them better.
Ya i realize its THAT big of a problem! But i have caught him in the beginnging of our relationship looking at porn, and thats when i snapped and i knew i wouldnt be able to trsut him. He's told me he stoppeed that day i told him to not look at it again. BUt than i found Maxim and Stff magazines hidden, and then he looked at swimsuit models on the comupter and i get to anger and hurt each time i find things,, and i know they're little things but for me their BIG.
How can i stop this suffering inside?
:'(
Bliss
