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I've developed a resistance to self reiki. A block against getting better. Going through the hard stuff.
Its like I don't want to get better.
I feel safe in the place of my misery.
Sometimes I feel ok, others no.
I'd a sweat on the weekend. The shaman/facilitator said I'd a block.
And fog.
Such is my resistance, I don't see it. I think. I'm aware somethings there, peripherally.
I don't want to do reiki or get a healing because I'm afraid of what may come up, and in the short term anyhow, not being able to cope. To fall apart.
I don't feel particularly strong at the moment, though I do feel a strength. Paradoxically.
Its all weird.
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