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Dear Jaquar,
Once I realized that another's behaviour is more about "them" than me, it took much of the sting out of this sort of behaviour. But I understand your distress. The more you think about it however, the more power you give to someone else and the worse you feel. People act differently in a group than on their own, unfortunately often sinking to the lowest denominator rather than soaring to the highest. So, rise to the challenge & let her bring the best out in you! One way to respond is to ignore it & just be the best employee you can be. Smile & be polite. Do the best work you can. As soon as you realize that you are thinking about her talking about you, etc. STOP that thought & replace it with a positive one, not focused on her. If you feel you must respond to jabs,think of some responses ahead of time that will allow you to assert yourself without being confrontational. ( I tape little motivational phrases or quotes or cartoons where I can look at them during work or on my break to remind me of positive thoughts rather than negative). In other words, keep your head high & let her know you wont go slinking off into a corner. Hang in there, women who make life difficult for us in the workplace likely have done it before to others & there is often someone else in the office who understands what is happening. Kill em with kindness & who do you think looks like the jerk? As for talking behind your back, that is the way it is when you work with a group of women. Accept it because ya aint gonna stop it! Eventually another subject for gossip will come along.
peace & joy,
holobon
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