Graham,
Namaste.
With all the skillet of the proverbial pun-dit I will mash some keys and attempt to render at least one answer worthy of ingestion without indigestion. :-}}
The spatula asked the young pastry: What do you want to be when you grow up? A pop-tart?
Or, in another universe, How do you wish to be treated? As a turnover?
Reiki (and eclairs) all around,
All Blessings,
Firekeeper