Hi Cathy,
My first Reiki One class presented Reiki as a job opportunity & I was raring to go....it has not worked out that way yet. (Actually, time has taught me that that is a good thing as I have learned much I could not see in the beginning of my Reiki journey & that makes me a more prepared practitioner). I have seen Masters give up much to bring Reiki into their lives with very little monetary compensation. Although this may not put food on the table or pay bills it is a worthy endeavor. But a worthy endeavor is not the same thing as a self supporting path.
Reiki Masters may feel that they have a great deal of responsibility on their shoulders. People who are in need of healing often have needs at inopportune moments and may require more time than seems reasonable. So it is not necessarily an easy road & for some, not a strict 9 to 5 thing. One has to be able to set boundaries. And some people will pay for other things/debts before they pay a healer. Yikes, you have to collect the money, too??? A business is after all, a business. Yet there are those that do well at it, so it can be done. It is not always what practitioners expect, however.
So, if it is not coming to you, I would suggest two things, that it is not meant to be your path at least at this moment...or you are projecting fear & negativity & attracting that to you. Stop for a moment & see in your mind what you want in symbolic form, as a picture. See this every day in your mind's eye & you will bring it toward you. However, be sure that this is what you want. Like the old adage, Be careful what you wish/pray for!!
As for not understanding, we all face times of confusion & self doubt..do not be so hard on yourself..do not punish yourself. Stop & see the good in you & in your life.
I am jobless for almost two months now & so I can relate to your story. Believe in yourself & do not let yourself slide into negative thinking...change the things that you think & say to yourself.
peace & joy,
holobon
