Hi Pepi,
Well, one of the things that I have learned, and taken to heart the last few years...is that the lessons get harder and more frequent until you figure out what they are trying to teach you, and do something about them.
Actually, once you get the hang of it, it steadily gets better!
I'm going to step out on a limb here, (scary place, cause people in pain tend to pop you and make you fall off the limb. Oh, well, it isn't a high one.) and make an assumption that similar things keep recurring. It was most likely that when these things started, they were just "little" things, and probably got ignored.
So, here is the combination. When there is a lesson to learn (and remember YOU picked your lessons before you came here) your guide (or angel) whispers in your ear. If you ignore it, the next time around perhaps they yell in your ear. You may hear it, but refuse to acknowledge it. Soooo the next time you get a pebble thrown at you to get your attention....then a bigger rock....then a brick....then a brick wall. Sounds to me like you are getting close to the brick wall.
You can have your will aligned with Gods', that can just make your lessons more intense. Did you ever ask that your lessons be painless...or close to it? You were born here with freewill, afterall. That is his will, also.
Take a look at those days that get so out of balance. Go back as far as you can in your mind, and look at them a situation at a time. Were you overly tired to begin with, not enough sleep, or too much on your plate for the day, or a cra--y attitude when you left your home, or just unable to give it the focus that you needed to give it? Or are you in the wrong profession, and just don't fit in? Just what do you have to learn from the things that happened. How can YOU change that? God won't change it for you without you learning something from it. It is like being caught in a traffic jam, you aren't going anyplace any faster than everyone else out there.
If you are having physical pain, have you seen a Dr? I am going to presume you are. (another presumption on my part) So, what is the pain trying to teach you? That you aren't taking enough time for yourself to rest, time to sleep? That you are over-loaded and unless you are in pain you won't quit? Carrying too heavy a load either literally or figuratively? That there are too many people expecting too much from you...or are you feeling guilty about something and won't take care of your spirit unless forced by pain into contemplation and forgiveness?
The thing is Pepi, people don't usually change their lives, painful though they may be, until the pain is so intense that they have no choice. The pain can be physical or emotional, or spiritual... But when you reach that threshold, and you start making a new deal with God, then you are getting it! (been there, myself!)
I really do hope something here works, and helps you in some way.
Blessings,
Priestess
