Esin, every day I find something absolutely fascinating and complexing about life. Something new that I feel the need to learn or understand. And every day I am reminded that there are others who need me to help them learn and look at these complexities.
Surely you didn't find all the answers to all the questions you ever asked during your drug experience???? I don't know what made you decide to question why you are living, so I'm not sure how else to answer your question. Did you find peace and feel that you need to go to the other side to re-experience that peace? If so, remember that we are here on this side for very important and compelling reasons. Leaving before the time that you were meant to is not a short cut to peace. In fact, most people believe that it will make a much longer journey of it.
I believe this part of our existence is extremely important to the other reality. We can't short cut this or we will miss something vital that we need to experience, and all will be delayed (or repeated.) that is my belief. We need to experience giving and receiving of love in THIS reality in hundreds of ways (maybe thousands.)
If you are depressed after your experience because of guilt or other reasons, you need to see a doctor or counselor ASAP. I say this with love and respect.
Blessings,
Lionheart
