Esin,
It sounds like you are severely depressed, as I have been before. Reiki can help you with this...as can hope.
I will tell you from experience that whatever you're feeling right now, it will pass.
Life is full of emotions and we are meant to experience all kinds, not just the happy ones. Please take my advice and do lots of reiki and lots of soul searching. Try to look at your situation from an outsiders point of view. This board has helped me to vent on occasion about personal problems.
Please let us know if we can be of assistance. Can we send you reiki?
Love and light,
Jessica
