Hi,
I am facing a difficult situation that I thought I had healed and need some honest advice. I feel that I can share this here and receive honest responses. There are very few in the 'real' world that I can talk about this to.
I had a loving childhood only marred by a serious issue with my mum's brother. To protect me (I was only 6) it was agreed at the time that it was in my best interests to cover it all up, sweep it under the carpet and pretend it never happened. As an adult I can understand that this was done with my best interests at heart. My mum's relationship with her brother dwindled away and when my grandfather died she cut ties completely with him. Over the years I have found my own pathway to self healing over this issue including Reiki and a Soul Retrieval. I felt that I had forgiven and yet never quite forgotten.
The problem is that last weekend there was a huge family party to celebrate my great aunt's 90th birthday. My mum having been invited decided with some trepidation to go, even though she knew that this would involve meeting the brother she had not seen for 10 years. That I could accept. I understood that it wasn't fair that she had cut herself off from the rest of the family. What I am finding difficult to accept is that they exchanged telephone numbers and my 'uncle' wants to meet up with her for meals etc and has invited her to his wedding next year. I just feel so betrayed. I know it is wrong, because my mum must walk her own pathway and follow her own path to self healing. Her life hasn't been easy either and she has her own feelings of hurt and anger from the past to work through. This morning I got angry and told her how betrayed I feel, I know it upset her and I know that it is not her intention to hurt me. I just feel that everything that I felt I had dealt with has been raked up again and after all these years I still have to stay away from family functions because I cannot face him . Today I have done what i did for so many years to bury the pain, which was to binge on chocolate and junk food. I have worked so hard this year to conquer this and it makes me so angry that I still have the ability to punish myself in this way. It doesn't make me feel any better, just more frustrated with myself.
I have my mum's solemn promise that she will never ever allow him anywhere near my three children ie if he ever visited and they were there, she would make an excuse not to let him in. Other than that I have asked her not to tell me if and when she meets him or talks with him again.
Am I being unreasonable? I don't want resentment to build up between myself and my mum, I love her dearly. What can I do to let go of this feeling of betrayal that really belongs in the past ? I am hurt and angry too with my mum's sister who knows some of the situation regarding my uncle and feels that it is all in the past and should just be forgotten about. I wish it were truly that easy. What would others do in this situation?
Anyway I'm sorry for the rambling long post about something so personal, but it is healing in a way to get it out of my head.
Gentle Blessings
Helen
