Namaste Vicki ~
I read your posting last week, and understood the cry very well. You are far braver than I am for having opened yourself up here and asking for help. For what it's worth, I applaud you! I have thought of you quite often, and, of course, thought being energy.... ;)
It was suggested to me last year when I confided the same things confidentially to another, that perhaps people who drink excessively are trying to fill a void with the wrong substance?
I think our souls seek equilibrium, and when out of kilter some of us seek comfort from a bottle. Others from food. Sex. Power. Money. Ad infinitum... None fill the void. May I suggest quiet time with yourself? Call it meditation, if you want, to let your inner self let you know what it is seeking so much... Then love yourself enough to fill that.
Peace.
Sands
