The Hoboken Cafe 

I don't get when people in there personals always say "I don't want someone who plays mind games" It seems any kind of interaction with people is a sort of mind game on some level. Life is like a movie where your the director and you say your lines in the hopes of getting other people to say what you want them to say. Maybe I'm way off base with this.

I think what people are trying to say or actually mean by putting that out there is plainly lets go from point A to B without all the BS..it gets tiring and old.. I mean really ..you meet someone ..you connect ..you talk to them here and there ..and wham..they disappear..its like what happened in that short time span..

That period initially when you think your connecting is just both parties being polite , trying to make somethimg happen. They haven't got to the point of the real person , and all there flaws or traits coming out into the open. I think that takes some time to get comfortable with the person. Probably 6 months or so.

Mind games is basicly a poor substitute for self confidence. In fact, most of it is an attempt to appear more confident that you actually are. The 'Rules' book gives some great examples of playing head games. I had an interesting experience with a girl who played these games. When I met her, I asked her to join me and some friends who where going out that weekend and she declined because she was using some silly rule that says if someone asks to see you on the same weekend, say your busy because you don' want to appear too available.

In the end, while she was playing games, I became interested in someone else. If she were simply open and honest with me, something might have developed, but she totally screwed up by playing silly games.

I agree that it takes time to get comfortable with a person. You never really know someone until you spend a lot of time together. Speeking of that, has anyone ever gone to one of those 'Speed dating' things? It sounds like your trying to figoure out if you want to date someone in minutes.