1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who
> run the country.
>
> 2. The Washington Post is read by people who think
> they run the country.
>
> 3. The New York Times is read by people who think
> they should run the country and who are very good at
> crossword puzzles.
>
> 4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought
> to run the country but don't really understand The
> New York Times. They do, however, like their
> statistics shown in pie charts.
>
> 5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who
> wouldn't mind running the country - if they could
> find the time - and if they didn't have to leave
> Southern California to do it.
>
> 6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents
> used to run the country and did a far superior job
> of it, thank you very much.
>
> 7. The New York Daily News is read by people who
> aren't too sure who's running the country and don't
> really care as long as they can get a seat on the
> train.
>
> 8. The New York Post is read by people who don't
> care who's running the country as long as they do
> something really scandalous, preferably while
> intoxicated.
>
> 9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are
> running another country but need the baseball
> scores.
>
> 10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people
> who aren't sure there is a country... or that anyone
> is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they
> stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the
> leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist
> homosexual dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any
> other country or galaxy provided, of course, that
> they are not Republicans.
>
> 11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped
> in line at the grocery store.
