The Hoboken Cafe 

Well, I haven't seen anything posted since early yesterday so I thought that I would throw a random topic out there for people to comment on. I was out with friends last night at dinner and we were speculating on the "hypothetical opportunity" of forming a dating service in town. I say "hypothetical" only because I am not serious about it...but was sort of commenting on the demographic desirability of this town (singles) to that kind of activity. We bandied the topic around and now I dish it off to you all. What about that crazy idea? The town may be awfully small to hold a full-fledged dating service, but just riff on the topic anyway, since no one is posting anything anyway.

A dating service would be fine by me, so long as it does not interfere with my man-whoring.

That's a difficult thing to do when people have "different" definitions for dating...

You have to know how to date properly, and understand women to run a dating service.

Steph

Don't forget understanding MEN and how to date them as well. It seems your dating service is one sided.

Dan

If large numbers of new people aren't interested in coming to events posted on this board, why would they get involved in a dating service? Also, would it be limited to Hoboken, or surrounding environs? Furthermore, there are personal ads on Hobokeni... That said, maybe there might be people interested. I dunno.

after experiencing a mere 1 date thru a dating service i give up on the entire concept. his idea of a date was going back to his place, smoking weed, and listing to records. i kid you not, these were his words.
i really think you need to meet people in person for the first time via your own interests like general social goups, hiking clubs, adult ed classes, the gym, work, community work, community events synagogue, church, etc.
a dating service is so artificial. as social contact between people has lessened because of television, cars, computers, consumerism, long work hours, urbanization, we have had to establish these drastic means of meeting people...i say leave the house, turn off the tv more, turn off the computer more and get out there. it's also possible to go to your rabbi or priest and have them set you up with someone in their congregation who is also looking for a partner....they are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get....

Interesting point. Perhaps, people (in general) have forgotten the joys of non-electronic communication. Doesn't it feel great to read a hand-written letter or sit in the park with a friend or loved one?

You bring up a very interesting point here. One of the reasons that I was initially attracted to this site was that it gave people the opportunity to meet and interact with each other in an informal setting (i.e. Sundays at Park Pastries, for example) without the pressure of the expectations that each person places on the other when going out and meeting with each other for the first time if they meet through an internet (or some other kind) dating service. I tried several dating services in the past as well and I gave up on the concept as well, mostly because things just didn't work out with the people I dated (and in one case because one of them was kind of a psycho; long story). I believe in spontaneity and the wonderful feeling of meeting someone unexpectedly in a more "natural" setting (i.e. in a store or restaurant, on the street, at work, in class, through work or whatever; all of the activities that you suggested are great ways to meet people as well) and you just don't get that through a dating service. Already you have preconceived notions of what the other person is gonna be like, so both people are already starting out at a different point mentally.

Matt

P.S. Not that there's anything wrong with smoking weed and listening to records :-), but that's highly unusual and inappropriate for a first date (especially if that's what the guy actually suggested before the date!) since those are activities that you share with someone when you get to know them a bit. Grabbing some coffee or some dinner would be more appropriate obviously.

elmermaid said on 11/14/2001 7:54 PM

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> after experiencing a mere 1 date thru a dating service i give up on the entire concept. his idea of a date was going back to his place, smoking weed, and listing to records. i kid you not, these were his words.
> i really think you need to meet people in person for the first time via your own interests like general social goups, hiking clubs, adult ed classes, the gym, work, community work, community events synagogue, church, etc.
> a dating service is so artificial. as social contact between people has lessened because of television, cars, computers, consumerism, long work hours, urbanization, we have had to establish these drastic means of meeting people...i say leave the house, turn off the tv more, turn off the computer more and get out there. it's also possible to go to your rabbi or priest and have them set you up with someone in their congregation who is also looking for a partner....they are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get....