The Reiki Cafe 

We would like to remind all members of the Reiki Community about this exciting new weekly event:

Free Reiki De-Attunements !

Yes, that's right DE-Attunements!

Sick and tired of hearing about free Attunements ?

Wish you had never received those 64,841 different attunements (or should that be 'initiations') into namby-pamby all sickly 'sweetness and lightworker' Reiki TM

Ashamed to say you were initiated into:
"We used to think it was Sai Baba - but now we've discovered it was really some OTHER orange-clad master with a cool-dude Afro haircut"- TerryMyReiki?

Don't know what to do with all those Certificates you got with all those irresistible 'gratis' Reiki Attunements (especially the ones you got when you collected five 'principles' tokens from special packs of Kellogg's corn flakes) - or the ones you made with your children's favourite crayons to validate all those Self-attunements you learnt from that 'Essentially Wicca in a Reiki Frock' book?

Do you remember the good old days before you got sucked into the dark and nefarious cult that is Reiki?

- before you became brainwashed into this "aw diddums - Reiki-weiki kiss it all better - there, there, there" molly-coddled mindset, that says you have to Reiki every little thing that hurts - that every little natural bodily sensation must be Reikied away in case - perish the thought - you might actually feel any of the everyday aches and pains that let you know you're really alive?

Well help is at hand.

With this new, tried and tested (well, sort of) process, you can be De-Attuned in minutes - say good bye to all those irritating and embarrassing attunements

Tell all those 'groundhog-day' type re-attunement junkies (who keep pestering to re-attune them over and over again - just because they know you are a Reiki Master) to go and take a flying chokurei..

Tear up those certificates

- and wear your:

"I am no longer attuned to Reiki - don't come crying to me cos you got a hangover - go bug some Reiki do-gooder who gives a damn" lapel badge with pride

So, come on, what are you waiting for - sign up today!

Just add your name to the free distant De-Attunement list in the database section
(of the save-me-from-reiki @ yoohoogroupies.con Group site)

- not forgetting to mention which specific Reikis you want to be De-Attuned to (or should that be 'from' - English is my second language after all)

But PLEASE Remember you only need De-Attunement to/from each Reiki style ONCE - the only circumstance in which you will need a Re-De-Attunement is if you are stupid enough to get yourself re-attuned to that style at a later date

We are not here to cater to the insecurities of would-be Reiki De-Attunement junkies who through their own inadequacies feel the need to be De-Attuned on a weekly basis.

And remember, you aren't confined to requesting De-Attunement solely for yourself

- and this is where the FUN starts:

D'you know a Reiki master (or practitioner of any level for that matter) who really annoys you - pretentious, holier-than-thou, egocentric, money-grabbing? (Yes I can see that mental list growing exponentially as you think about it - and take my name off that list IMMEDIATELY!)

Well, just for the hell of it, why not add THEIR name to the free distant De-Attunement list .

Or, pick a Master who really winds you up - but instead of adding THEIR name to the list, add all their students' names and watch the fur fly as the students demand their 'energy exchange' (i.e. attunement fee) back.

Another alternative, (allowing that you haven't undergone the De-Attunement Process yourself) - add someone's name to the list, then in a month or so send them a fresh distant Re-attunement - give it a month, then add them to the list again, and so on....

They'll never figure out why one month the Reiki Flows and the next it doesn't...

These are just a few suggestions - I'm sure that you will come up with many more novel (and I hope devious) applications for the free distant De-Attunement list .

Have Fun!

(Full Singular Reiki De-Attunement on the 7th Sunday in each Month)

James

I rarely get involved in posting to such things, but I must say that your post here is very sad to say the least. YOU cannot take anything away from anyone that is a God given gift, a Natural part of our being.
Nor through a De-attunement, can you undue the knowledge that is learned through compassionate acts. You think that all there is to an attunement is energy for healing?
There is alot more going on here, Self forgiveness, and rememberance of Who We Are.
We ARE The LIGHT.
I am not sure if it is because of your discerning experience with going back and feeling ashamed of what you "Feel" you did with Usai ( believe that is who it was) or what, but I suggest you not hurt others by telling them that they can be unattuned and messing their heads up with this stuff.
We Are Natural Healers, everyone. There is Nothing to give up. We are Working towards enlightenment and the only way to do this is by releasing our fears.
YOUR post here suggests plainly you are moving very deeply into some hidden fears or you would not print such things.
And I have no worries that YOU or anyone else is Stronger than God and Can De-attune me so You do what you need to do Dearest.
I"ll still be holding the Light For You.
Bless you for the place you are now. Bless you for the places you have been that makes you want to strike out at the Healing commmunity in this way.
I wish You Nothing but clarity and Peace.

May you honour those you serve and those you will serve in the days to come!

All My Love,
Jahnavi

Hope this was a sad attempt at humor, "Seventh Sunday".

There are always some that read only some of the posts. Not kind to attempt to worry beginners.

If you really do feel what you said is true, you will have to change your profile.

Light to you anyway!
blackearth

I love Reiki, it's been a godsend in my life.

I love it too much to take it too seriously.

Therefore I thought your de-attunement post was hilarious.

Thank you for the levity,
Blessings to all of you,
Aronaya

P.S. Does a de-attunement mean I could go back to my steak & beer and cigarettes without having those pesky intuitions anymore??

Aronaya, hi

you say about Reiki:
"I love it too much to take it too seriously."

I think you may have guessed by now that I can Identify with that statement!

If you haven't already seen them, you might appreciate the following 'terribly serious'(not) Reiki items:

THE LOST DIARIES OF USUI-SENSEI
http://www.geocities.com/fascin8or/reiki_history2.html

The 'True Teachings' Reiki System™
http://www.geocities.com/fascin8or/reiki_history3.html

THE DANGERS OF HSZSN
http://www.geocities.com/fascin8or/reiki4.html

"Laughter is the Best Medicine"
(so Reiki & Laughter must be REALLY something!)

James

Dear James,

ROFLMAO on your post!

Take care you don't wind up a feature story on RNN.

*kiss*kiss*

goldenisis

namaste James,

Burning question....
1. do you make this up as you go along, or is the story already in your head?

Curious minds want to know.

:-)

2. By the way, there have been several reiki masters that have been annoying to me. To have their students de-attuned, do I need their actual names, or can we just do a blind "anyone attuned by such and such...." ?? What if the master has several names? Do you need them all, or will any one of them do?

3. Also, if you see my name on the list, how much $$$money/energy will it take for you to take my name off the list???? Do you give group discounts?

4. Does this mean I have to throw away all those crayons just in case I get the "craving" to make another certificate? Or should I throw them away, anyway, because now they are tainted with reiki energy? I could just use them to make my new lapel button!

5. Putting this notice over here on this board was a hint of budding genius. (My opinion only, as it is usually pretty boring, to me) So there is less likelyhood of totally offending everyone who comes on the board.

:-)

6. So........who is on the list to be offended next week..?

email follows with list!

Blessings,

Priestess

James,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- I am not really sure you are announcing anything

>:-}}

- but imagining your tongue firmly planted in cheek, the post is wannabe-funny

>:-}}

- or it represents a true crisis

>:-}}

- either way, perhaps I need to Announce yet again that De-Postings may occur at any time - if a post is deemed sufficiently deviant from the spirit of The Cafe

>:-}}

- warnings are given out of common courtesy - but are not guarranteed

>:-}}

- I will mull this particular post over carefully -

- and take more time to peruse other posts you might submit in the future

>:-}}

Reiki all around,

all blessings

Coyote Firekeeper (Host and [mostly] humble Bouncer}

Why is humor with the subject of Reiki not appropriate for The Cafe?

Roxy,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- is there not some important distinctions between 'humor' and what comes across as mocking (of a discussion on one of the other boards)

>:-}}

- but then perhaps I am being too sensitive??

>:-}}

Reiki all around,

all blessings,

Firekeeper

I've been attuned to terrymyreiki TM (James, how 'bout 'Tarry, my Reiki TM'?)and found it a most powerful and amazing energy...

...but still bagl-ed over the post. I think there's an inherent absurdity to much of what we two-leggeds do (part of the human condition?) which does not necessarily detract from the serious/holy aspects.

Regards,

goldenisis

I don't know...

Did you check with the author of the other post to see if he felt he was being made a mockery of?

Hello Roxy, and actually mostly James... :}

I was the one whom got the ball rolling on this one and sorry about that.. I think.. * Laughs **
I see later that your post was meant as a VERY Dry sense of humor and I some how missed it.
Still, I must prevail and say that the strand of the post itself took on a kind of mean tone to me though I see by the end where you say you de-attune every 7th sunday it must have been a joke.
The part that freaked me out is there could be others(newbies, and those not so well hinged) that miss the point of your post as joking and think that they could really de-attune & even mull over being able to do something so horrible. Send out negative thoughts and vibes to folks with this thought in focused mind...
I got this awful feeling when i was posting...
I don't know.. Seemed a bit mean spirited I guess, the whole thread.
What added to my discomfort was your previous post about HSZSN and the dung fly.. Was that a joke or was that something you truly experienced? See people were truly concerned for you and I look back upon that and think that perhaps that was your humor pokin out too.

What ever the case, blessings to you dear one and I hope that next time I'll take more time to read your posts more carefully before posting myself.

Jahnavi

Hello Jahnavi, Firekeeper, et al

Jahnavi, you say:
"The part that freaked me out is there could be others (newbies, and those not so well hinged) that miss the point of your post as joking and think that they could really de-attune & even mull over being able to do something so horrible."

To avoid any further confusion MY POST WAS DEFINITELY INTENDED AS JOKE - like many a fine Claret, humour obviously doesn't travel to well:-)

However, if you have ever heard the old expression:
"many a true word spoken in jest", you might guess what's coming next.

In my endless quest to add new and informative links on my All Energy-Therapies Web site [http://www.aetw.org], I just recently came across one of the most comprehensive on-line Reiki Manuals I have seen so far - and aptly titled:
"The Complete Guide to Reiki"
http://reiki-press.hypermart.net/

in Volume 2, Chapter 3: 'Removal and Loss of Reiki Energy',
I discovered the following:

"In late 1994, an Institute trained master in Colorado named Tom Brown devised a step by step deattunement procedure. We take each deattunement case on a person by person basis, however Tom's procedure is very nice and can easily be adapted to take care of a large number of the problems out there...."

Read it for yourself (- this is NOT intended as a joke, and I had nothing to do with it)

You will find the process here:
http://reiki-press.hypermart.net/2-3.html
about half-way down the page; the section entitled:
A TOOL FOR REMOVING A SYMBOL AND ENERGY
BY: THOMAS J. BROWN, TRM (etc)

(I might add that this article was NOT the source of the seed-idea for my 'De-attunement post' - it was inspired by something totally different, and possibly more bizarre - but I can't go into that right now)

This is all getting waay to serious

I'm off to get some of my students to poke fun at me and my teaching methods!

James

Dear Crazy-Wisdom James,

Thank you for the most interesting link.

Now, it has recently come to my attention that the spirit of Groucho Marx has been wandering around and, well, shall we say, influencing a number of people. I suspect that your first post on de-attunement was caused by the spontaneous induction of Marxian symbols, as they have come to be known, into your aura. Not to worry...I am offering you a FREE distance clearing (well, free plus $495 S&H).

Your most humble servant,

goldenisis

Hello Dear James,
Well if you could possibly put those neon, lights, blinkers or something so the more slow of wit would be assured of no mishaps in to Duh-dum.. lol Maybe even a side bar enterpreter...Border? JOKE JOKE JOKE JOKE JOKE JOKE JOKE JOKE.. See how pretty and festive that looks??

I still ponder the reasoning behind folks taking time to do such things and spend so much energy in pulling against something so strongly as the replier to your post was stating ( viruses) after your post.
Kinda reminds me of the KKK, waste lots of valuable time on the earth 'hating' this and that, and working towards crazy as* goals like the eradication of a society where folks live along side one inother or live and love bi-racially in peace and harmony...
Too much darn time at home. Perhaps their time would be better spent in a third world country seeing what it truly feels like to suffer eh?

Hope you have a wonderful day and that you can find yourself a great prankster to scorn you playfully or some other equally amiable exchange.. lol..

Have a blessed one Dear James,

Jahanvi

Dear Goldenisis

you say:
"I am offering you a FREE distance clearing (well, free plus $495 S&H)."

free, plus $495 Shipping & Handling - now why didn't I think of that!

and there's me giving it away - no wonder I'm not making any money out of it.

Maybe I should also add a 'Shipping & Handling' charge for people using my FREE Energy-Therapy info, resources and links pages on my website, or add it to the FREE Reiju project I've been running 24/7 on the site.

- either that or I suppose I could actually start charging my students a fee for teaching them Reiki - bet no-one's ever thought of THAT before!

James :-)

Dear Jahnavi,

I like your idea of a JOKE-JOKE-JOKE border. I'm betting James could come up with something sparkly and truly festive...but better, perhaps, not to tempt him...lol!

Have you seen his site? It's an amazing labor of love, not only for Reiki (with a wonderful Reiju offering), but for the links it provides to a whole lot of other varied energy systems.

Regards,

goldenisis

Hello honey,
*hugs you warmly***
Yeah, that JOKE JOKE JOKE boarder good for those of us that are kinda thick skulled and such.. :}
I still don't know if the dung beatle thing was a joke or not though.. ROFL!!!!
I"m so ashamed.. tee hee...

I've looked at James's site, but when I was there a couple things weren't workin and I've not had time to get back there and muck into any. Plus I've gotten into some other healing modalities and have been a bit preoccupied with that it seems... The magnified healing has been a really great find and i've enjoyed that quite a bit. I seem to love playing with the limitations folks give me in regards to working with the energies I get introduced to though.
One thing was that Reiki and Magnified healing can't be done together..
Because in Magnified healing you ( Hear the big hollow voice speaking in a deep hollow voice sloooowly) BECOME MAGNIFIED HEALING.. lol
As i've pushed past my self imposed belief on this, I've found that I'm using both anyway.. I feel I can channel life force energy and BE MAGNIFIED HEALING.. lol.. all at once..
I've also come up with a way to clear that doesn't involve making the darn person stand instead of be comfie..
So making a short story long.. I'm sure I'll get into his site again real soon. He had lots of great healing information that I couldn't access as I recall and its time to get in there and click again...

Love you dearest Lady,
Jahnavi

Thanks for that James, I aint laughed so much in ages, It is so important to be able to laught at oneself. If not, you get lost off in pomposity.
I loved it!
(I also love reiki)

Blessings Lillymoon.xxx

Shipping & Handling! I thought it meant $495 S&H GREENSTAMPS!

This is getting way too confusing...

(quick show of hands - how many know what greenstamps are/were?)

Love to All,
Aronaya

Dear Aronaya,

(jumping up and down and waving hand frantically) I do! I do!

*kiss*kiss*

goldenisis

Ditto for me.....this is showing our age.....lol.

Thanks for the laugh.
blackearth

Aronay,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- I only got the last remaining molecule of Green Stampo glue off my tongue last year

bagl

- all those triple stamps I got for buying $0.29\gal gas

>:-}}

Reiki all around,,

all blessings,

Firekeeper

Yes, I remember Green Stamps...it was my job to put them in the books.

In my neck of the woods, Green Stamps have reincarnated as Greenpoints, the digital version of Green Stamps. I get them at my grocery store.

Roxy