The Reiki Cafe 

Anybody read it lately.

The control drama thing is very interesting. I have read books on these issues before. I have a problem relating to the control drama thing am wondering if anyone has had a problem like this. Or can help me solve mine.

If you have a queasy stomach don't read any further.

I work in close proximity to a women. This women had the most unbelievable disgusting personal noises.

She has sinuses and has this unbelievable phlegmy cough. When she coughs up the phlegm then she inhales it back in loudly. Like a child sniffing magnified by 100. You can actually hear it going back down her throat which of course causes more phlegmy coughs. (SSSSSSSSNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIFFFFF) (HHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKK)

She chews her fingers and eats the skin off her cuticles with sucking noises (PSSTSFSSSCH)

She sucks her teeth (FFFFFSSSSSSSED)when eating and eats at her desk regularly.

I brought in a boom box to play music when the snorting, hacking, phlegm sucking and flesh eating occur. I put a huge plant in front of me so I can't see her eating her fingers and it will block some of the coughing (no tissue or hand just phlegmy cough... pretty much right at me).

This brings me to my problem. What possible control drama can this be? What lesson can I learn from this? I realize she is probably a poor me type or why would anyone make so many noises if they didn't desparately want attention. It is in all my power sometimes not to shout "WOULD YOU STOP ALREADY".

Patience, tolerance all qualities I need to work on are tested daily for the last 5 years.

I bring it up here because I just read the control drama thing and that makes sense. How then do I accept the noises as her attempt to draw attention to herself. How do I send her love and energy so she won't need to "sound" off.

Be

Yes :), there are times when control drama is seen and used by people. I've read some pages of the book in question.
I was going to do an individual workshop on the topics mentioned in the book. I have a book to write down notes and thoughts that come to me as I read Readfield's book.
His books are good for beginningers that are not familiar with energy fields and psychology.
on a personal note:
I like adventures and mysteries. Drama can be good from time to time. However, I actually see dramas in my physical life, I tend not to cope.
I know that I am not exactly addressing your problem, so I try to tell u of my experience in the next post.
I think I'll get on to that now.
bye

I worked once as a cashier and happened to short change a lady. She was angry and called for my boss.
I was not happy nor comfortable with the whole situation. I did not handle the situation well either. My boss told me to let the lady alone and not get involve in any manner.
U have seen much worse. I would not been able to cope.
I'm glad that u have not conforted her.
Becoming part of others's drama doesn't seem like a good idea. We have to be able to see what is happening to others without becoming too involved ourselves.

I have given some thoughts as to why the lady working next to u is the way she is. She seems to have little self control and maybe lost the desire to be polite. Does she look like an ill mannered person with bad language?
Just a thought: do u think she could have been bossed around too much or just simply listerns to no one.
There are rude people and it can be hard to talk to them.
best of luck in figuring this out.
It will take lots of patience to help her in any way. Scolding will be the last to happen.
good luck. take care.

She stooped over in her back with bad posture. She is still young in her 30's. When I see this in people that young it is almost like they are blocking the blows of life by hunching over as in a strong wind. I feel bad for her just would rather not share her "shout out" at attention.
It drives me crazy so very hard to stay in the compassionate zone.

Thanks for your input. I have kind of resigned to the fact that I will have snot, phehglm and sucking noises while I work here. Sometimes I can get past it.. sometimes not.
AAHHH at Life.

Love light and quiet
Be

Be,

Bring a box of kleenex, and a nail clipper, and tell her (nicely) you think she should use them.

Suggest a good sinus medication, if you know of one.

Then if that doesn't work, ask your guides to block out all of the noises that bother you.

You being annoyed, isn't so much about her, as it is about you, and what triggers it for you. After all, there are always going to be people who bite their cuticles, etc..

You can choose to be annoyed and hide it, or you can choose to be happy.

>;-)

Blessings,

Priestess

Yup ditto to Priestess' reply. Or you could buy her a Netti Pot for Christmas.

I agree with the hunching over a way to block and protect.

Place a Reiki Shield around your work space. It is your space, and you have the ability to protect it.

Good luck
Let us know what happens.
Love & Light
Mary

Dear Be,

Some people are incredibly ignorant of how they are perceived by others. Perhaps no one has ever told her that those noises are repulsive & then, again, perhaps she has been told & doesnt care. Hasnt the supervisor/manager noticed this & counseled her?
Chewing on nails & cuticles is a habit & can be a stress/tension reliever. Perhaps its not a bad thing, keeps her occupied & less likely to be honking or hacking...hey, dont tell me that she can chew her nails & hack cough honk at the same time ???!!! HeHe..Sorry, couldnt resist.
Sinuses as bad as you describe are pretty awful to live with..I suppose after awhile, one gives up trying to be nice about it, if it is a 24 hr a day problem. However, her hacking snuffling routine may be nervous habit as well, an exaggeration of the underlying sinus problem. The suggestions about sinus medication was good & the neti pot is great. Plenty of fluids are needed to wash it all away, so to speak. :( Wonder if she has ever been to an Ear/nose/throat or allergy doctor? Ricola lemon herb lozenges are wonderful for soothing the back of the throat & helping with coughing from irritated throat or post nasal drips, you might want to share some with her.
You have the right to expect that at the least she cover her mouth when she coughs right at you. That is a health issue besides just common courtesy. You will have to discuss that with her face to face. Well, maybe stand back a few feet....
As far as attention, I dare say with habits like that few people are likely to get close to her. Is that what she wants , do you think? Have a feeling there is more going on than you know.

A thought...what is worse, to be in her shoes or yours? Personally, Id have to say the former, but that is me. :)

peace & joy,
holobon

Thanks for all your inputs. Why oh why didn't I think to give it to my guides. I have been beating myself up about getting irrated and not compassionate. I keep telling myself I MUST LEARN SOMETHING FROM THIS.

4 years ago I did the gentle tissue, cough drops, sinus medication, nail files all to no avail. I can't help someone who doesnt want to be helped. You are probably right about the noises keeping people away. So sad. It is her control drama not mine, the book just brought it into focus.

You all have helped tremendously I will ask my guides politely if I can please hear the noises as music. What do you think? HAHAHAH ......As I type this she is growling... she does that when she gets frustrated. Music sweet music.

Have a wonderful musical day.
Be

That's the spirit.
Maybe try some ear phones. I listerned to music once before to cut out noise in the living room. I did not hear another noise. Try to distract yourself and may bring your work home if you can so that you can sit and read for a bit when you cannot focus on work.
Do make sure that she does not know that you may be avoiding her.
Good luck.
Try to forget everything at work before going home so that you can be happy for the rest of the day.
That's all from the one (me) who had not learned to let go....
all :)s for there are better things to dwell on.

That's the spirit.
Maybe try some ear phones. I listerned to music once before to cut out noise in the living room. I did not hear another noise. Try to distract yourself and may bring your work home if you can so that you can sit and read for a bit when you cannot focus on work.
Do make sure that she does not know that you may be avoiding her.
Good luck.
Try to forget everything at work before going home so that you can be happy for the rest of the day.
That's all from the one (me) who had not learned to let go....
all :)s for there are better things to dwell on.

That's the spirit.
Maybe try some ear phones. I listerned to music once before to cut out noise in the living room. I did not hear another noise. Try to distract yourself and may bring your work home if you can so that you can sit and read for a bit when you cannot focus on work.
Do make sure that she does not know that you may be avoiding her.
Good luck.
Try to forget everything at work before going home so that you can be happy for the rest of the day.
That's all from the one (me) who had not learned to let go....
all :)s for there are better things to dwell on.

That's the spirit.
Maybe try some ear phones. I listerned to music once before to cut out noise in the living room. I did not hear another noise. Try to distract yourself and may bring your work home if you can so that you can sit and read for a bit when you cannot focus on work.
Do make sure that she does not know that you may be avoiding her.
Good luck.
Try to forget everything at work before going home so that you can be happy for the rest of the day.
That's all from the one (me) who had not learned to let go....
all :)s for there are better things to dwell on.

That's the spirit.
Maybe try some ear phones. I listerned to music once before to cut out noise in the living room. I did not hear another noise. Try to distract yourself and may bring your work home if you can so that you can sit and read for a bit when you cannot focus on work.
Do make sure that she does not know that you may be avoiding her.
Good luck.
Try to forget everything at work before going home so that you can be happy for the rest of the day.
That's all from the one (me) who had not learned to let go....
all :)s for there are better things to dwell on.

That's the spirit.
Maybe try some ear phones. I listerned to music once before to cut out noise in the living room. I did not hear another noise. Try to distract yourself and may bring your work home if you can so that you can sit and read for a bit when you cannot focus on work.
Do make sure that she does not know that you may be avoiding her.
Good luck.
Try to forget everything at work before going home so that you can be happy for the rest of the day.
That's all from the one (me) who had not learned to let go....
all :)s for there are better things to dwell on.

That's the spirit.
Maybe try some ear phones. I listerned to music once before to cut out noise in the living room. I did not hear another noise. Try to distract yourself and may bring your work home if you can so that you can sit and read for a bit when you cannot focus on work.
Do make sure that she does not know that you may be avoiding her.
Good luck.
Try to forget everything at work before going home so that you can be happy for the rest of the day.
That's all from the one (me) who had not learned to let go....
all :)s for there are better things to dwell on.

That's the spirit.
Maybe try some ear phones. I listerned to music once before to cut out noise in the living room. I did not hear another noise. Try to distract yourself and may bring your work home if you can so that you can sit and read for a bit when you cannot focus on work.
Do make sure that she does not know that you may be avoiding her.
Good luck.
Try to forget everything at work before going home so that you can be happy for the rest of the day.
That's all from the one (me) who had not learned to let go....
all :)s for there are better things to dwell on.

Otoharo!

Be, I use the second symbol for situations. Start it before you leave home and set it to run all day. Continue this every day. My experience is that Reiki brings a win win situation every time.

finality

Be,

I'm sure we all can relate. To ignore her is part of the control drama. 4 control dramas: intimidation, aloof (ignore), interragation and victim (poor me).

I could put you in a victim category if you did not address her in some way (as previous replies indicated to say something without doing intimidation.) She may not be aware she is doing her noises. You could say "are you aware that you are making throat noices?" or leave an anonymous note to that affect on her desk. You could say or ask her in person or on note "if she thinks other people enjoy listening to her noises.?" again, in a friendy matter of fact manner. Then, if she still does them, you could consider making her noises part of your environmental mantra so to speak & do acceptance.

We have no control over anyone. So to be powerless & admitting that may be an issue & a gift for you to help you practice turning this situation over to your own higher power and turn her over to her own higher power, and in that act which you may have to repeat often, you move into real power.

You can pat yourself on the back for having the presence (presents) of mind to ask for help in this situation and to remind yourself that it is a triviality as most annoying things are.

Blessings and peace,

Prosperity

Looks like patience and tolerance are virtues to be learnt from this experiences.
These two aspects are in almost everything we do.

Be, your story made me chuckle as I thought about a girl I knew in high school. She smelled like rancid garlic and sat in choir picking her nose and eating it.

Not knowing how to help improve the situation, her good friend mailed a sample size of deodorant to her home. Nothing. Then she tried a heart to heart chat that went like this--What would you do if someone told you you had a bad habit that was bothering people? To which the girl nonchalantly replied,"Oh, do you pick in your nose and eat it too?"

She was aware of her bad habits but didn't care a bit what anyone thought!! I think you're working with someone like that. It takes all kinds....

Namaste,
Starlight