The Reiki Cafe 

I have an appointment tomorrow morning to see a solicitor, due to my ex-boyfriend who i finished with a year ago. He has harrassed my family and me constantly. I have had many sleeplessnights due to him phoning my house and mobile till sometimes 5 in the morning. He has also done this to my family keeping them awake all night, until we all had our numbers changed. I have a bag full of letters he has posted me, even though i have firmly told him that i don't want him near my house. He has also followed my daughter and her friends around.
The reason i have not called the police before is because of the repercussions. But now after he followed me to the shops the other day, i've decided i can't take it anymore.
I know that after i have seen the solicitor, a letter will bw sent to him, and that's my worry because of my 2 girls not me.
The thing is, my daughter who i haven't expressed my concerns to got up this morning and told me that she had had a dream that he shot me in the eye while i was working in my front garden. She said that in her dream she ran at him and he went to shot her too, but he'd run out of bullets. I told her it meant nothing and just smiled but i can't help but worry. He hasn't a gun as such but he has a powerfull air rifle. I'm worried because if something did happen to me, who would look after my girls and my sister?
Am i being stupid?

Lilac

don't worry lilac. When i was in the process of leaving my abusive ex, i often dreamt of threatening situations that never occurred. I'm sure your daughter is working through her own fears for you (and possibly herself). Have faith and feel your strength...my reiki teacher tells me that the stronger our connection with Light, the more we seem to attract those who darker sides need healing. In my own experience, boundaries mean everything! It is the only thing men like these understand, and the police and legal strategies like my protection order have really worked. it takes time unfortunately. Saying that though, please trust your intuition.

Thanks Lyssa,
I don't usually take any notice of dreams. It's just that i thought it was funny how she had this dream just as i'm almost due to see a solicitor.
I was actually going to mow my front and back garden one more time before the weather gets too bad. So when i do, no doubt i'll be looking out for him.

Lilac

Hi Lilac, Lyssa is right, our children are connected to us. Your daughter must have been feeling the anxiety you are feeling with this situation. Your ex has ''forced'' you to take stronger mesures. You did not really want that. This might explain the gun shot in the dream, he is imposing something on you, bringing things to an end but in a drastic way.

But if you are still worried try to protect yourself with a reiki bubble while you mow the lawn .

Take care

Ladyreiki

Thanks Ladyreiki,
You are right i have been pushed to this. I have warned him time and time again through his sisters to leave me alone or i would go to the police, but he just laughed and eased off for a week or so.
I heard last week that he has met someone else. I can't tell you the relief i felt. I so hoped he would be happy, settle down and leave me alone, but if anything it's getting worse again.
Sometimes late at night while i'm lying in bed, he whistles up at my bedroom window and screeches the brakes on his bike. I lie there cringing wishing he would dissapear. I never look out the window and shout as i really believe that's what he wants me to do. At least at the solicitors tomorrow, i can honestly say that i have given him no feed-back at all.

Lilac

The dream interprets as a warning, but not a physical danger as you might think. The eye symbolizes a warning but the way it is set up it is more like something of a scandelous nature. It sounds as if your daughter's higher self is letting her know that there is going to a bit of a hoopla going to happen, but it won't be violent in nature - the fact that you're are shot in the dream means that a new life will be starting for you and her. The dream of running suggests that she is involved in a situation (or obligation) from which she would like to escape; it is good she is talking to you about it, you might want to explore her feelings a little more so she harbours no resentments.

Her dream it a message of reaching out from her higher self, talk to her.

Bev

Hi lilac,

It is good you are seeing your solicitor. Hopefully this will stop the harassment once and for all.

With regard to your daughter's dream, I agree with Bamwer. Please talk to your daughter and give her a chance to express her feelings about things. It is obviously distressing her and I'm sure she would feel much better if you chatted with her.

Can you explain to your daughter that most of the time things that happen in dreams are shown through symbols special to that person. If you can help her to understand that it could mean many different things. For example being shot in the eye might mean that you aren't seeing clearly, or maybe it means she thinks you are not willing to see his violence? Is this her way of trying to get you to understand that she wished you could have done something sooner about this?

With the part about your daughter running at him, and he runs out of bullets, that could be indicating that your daughter is willing to face her fears, or she is ready to take this on.

This is not to make you feel guilty. It is to help you to understand that your daughter may have many different reasons for this type of dream than what it literally looks like.

I hope this helps.

With light and love,
Featherpoint

TO LYSSA Your comment about the light and attacting darker beings that need help.
I am in Real Estate and this past year I have had nothing but, mean people as clients. I thought it was the sign of the times. But your comment makes me think now.
I should ask permission to do Reiki on them.
I have even though of giving up my career lately because I am exhasted from all this evil and mistrust this people have for one another.
Thank you for your comment.

There's never actually been any physical violence, although i have found out since that he has been in the past with his other parners. He knows i trained seriously for almost 20 yrs in martial arts and boxing, and only with men. His sister has said he has always been a coward, which he obviously is. I'm not frightened of him physically, but i do feel very anxious about what he's doing to us psycholgically. I can't believe he's doing this when he knows all the problems and illness in my family right now.
As for my daughter, i feel so guilty i've worried her.I try to protect both my daughters from what i can. Jenna who had the dream is 15. Most of the time it is like a war zone in my home with her. Whenever i try to talk to her about anything, she gets irratated and says,'Alright mom, i know. Stop going on'. Sometimes i'm close to tears because of how she is with me. I have always done my best for them both, i even stayed single for 14 years so that i could give them my complete attention while raising them; they are my life, all i care about is seeing them alright. Kerry my eldest was never as bad as Jenna, but then Jenna is a lot more fiery and has had to cope with a lot of bullying and suffers terrible PMS. She is now very strong and will never back down. It takes a lot of work for me to get her to listen to me. She is also so loving, and wont leave the house without hugging and kissing me goodbye and telling me she loves me.
I am worried about Bev saying that trouble is coming, i dont feel strong enough to take much more.

Lila

I didn't say trouble was on the way - just that the dream was a warning - I could be wrong. What I am more worried about in your anxiety - you all need a breather. I know that can be hard with a 14 and 15 year old, but perhaps you can find just perhaps an hour to go somewhere and just relax - my favorite saying and what works for me is - when the going get tough the tough get ice cream. All this worry is not good for any of you. You need to take a moment to bond, to love and more important breath.
Bev

to star3! Hi, hope yesterday was ok for you! In your message, I wasn't sure if you meant that your buying clients were mean, or the ones who were selling? If it's the sellers, then perhaps you may be picking up on the negativity in the environment? 4 months ago i left a house that i needed to cleanse and clear constantly, using white light and my reiki symbols to protect. Sounds a little crazy, i know, but once i moved out and went back a couple of times to retrieve the last of my stuff and clean up, i could sense the ...what? darkness? foreboding? whatever it was, it didn't want me there.
Do you think its the old energy in the houses that you are now sensitive to? After all, we're dealing in energies aren't we, and our ability to heal and be effective depende so much on our sensitivity to that which can't be seen.
Well, that or else a lot of people alive today just aren't very nice!
Hope it isn't so.
Light and love, lyssa

hi lilac, hope you're feeling better. What you are feeling is perfectly normal, unfortunately,for a woman who has experienced an abusive relationship. In our culture at the moment we focus only on physical abuse but that's only one part of it. I have spent some time in women's refuges here in Australia, and the women I've met who were beaten have all said that they think the worst abuse is the psychological and emotional and verbal kind. that is what i endured for 8 years in the hope that he would realise how he was hurting me. Lilac, please know, that your ex knows EXACTLY what he is doing!!! Terrible to believe, but it's true.
You might find it helpful to contact a womans service or a counsellor, because getting over an abusive relationship often takes help. Today was my weekly meeting with a group of women that meet at my local domestic violence centre, and we all look forward to it sooo much. it's reaffirming and empowering and just knowing that other women know exactly how you have felt is an indescribable feeling. Hope this helps
Light and love, lyssa

Sorry i didn't mean to sound ungrateful, i wanted to know opinions on what could of been meant by the dream, and i appreciated all replies. I've just always reacted to worrying things with panic; it seems to be my nature and i hate that about myself. I would love to be able to face my problems calmly, and believe me i'm trying to change.
My time out, is on an evening when my girls go out, which is every evening, and i'm alone watching t.v. Then i go upstairs to my room and send Reiki to all my family. It helps me to feel like i'm actually doing something to help.
All day i look forward to the evenings, it's my idea of heaven.

Lilac

Dear Lyssa,
I'm so sorry you went through that, although i've never been hit i know the fear you obviously must of felt.
My dad is the most frightening person i,ve ever and believe will ever know. He's from Switzerland, and his strong accent and voice frightened me alone. His violence was physical and mental. When he was drunk,he didn't fall around he just turned very nasty, he knew how to frighten. The estate where i live isn't very nice, but all the men were scared of him, and he'd come home to me and my 2 sisters and my mom.
He would stare at me and i would be scared to move. On one occassion my legs acyually gave way. Many times i would run up the stairs to the toilet with fear and not make it.
When i was 9 one time he was hitting my mom and he had smashed the phone. It was snowing and i ran bare footed in my nightdress to the phone box to phone the police. I nearly died when i seen that he was standing waiting for me. He marched me home pushing me at the back of my head.
If i ever sit and think about the things that he did, it shocks me.
I remembered the other day that actually my first memory of my neck hurting was when i was very young, and my dad sat and stared at me when he had come home from the pub. It seemed forever i sat there, and i remember i needed the toilet but i wouldn't move. The next morning when my mom called me for school, i could hardly get my head of the pillow as my neck hurt. I think fear made my neck bad and the years of sport aggrivated it.
You're right, i belive my ex knows exactly hows he's affecting me. He must know i would never be with him. It's just tormenting.

Lilac

lilac,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- the sort of harrassment (and stalking?) that you describe certainly seems within the purview of the solicitors and police. Such behavior reflects someone who is 'disturbed'.

- you daughter's dream while indicating some anxieties is also a 'release valve' for her. And, there are those who would also suggest that the content of her dream perhaps reflects a bit too much time in front of the telly.

- as others have suggested - your intutions have led you to the solicitor so stick with them

- good luck

Reiki all around,

all blessings,

Firekeeper

I have been following this chat and I don't believe putting a reiki bubble around you is going to protect a person from a bullet. Just my take. Sometimes a person can get too spiritual and lose earthly common sense. If the daughter is afraid and has a dream like that, it means take notice and forget about the damn lawn.

Sorry to be so abrupt.

peace,

prosperity

I agree Prosperity, i need to take notice of her. One time she was in a friends house, while my ex,obviously after drinking, kept riding past the house staring in with a nasty look on his face. My daughter phoned me and i raced down there but he had gone. I know i must do something and i will now.The only reason i've left it till now is because i don't believe there was any physical threat, and if i called the police i could probably make things ten times worse.
Any way, the solicitors phoned me the morning i was supposed to go for my appointment and cancelled on me, and rescheduled me on 27th of this month.

Lilac

Thank you,
It's not because of her watching T.V. she's never in!!
I think it's because she knows i'm going to the solicitors, and you're right, i think she is getting anxious about what will happen next. She also knows that he has an air rifle.
You are SO right when you say 'disturbed'. I've certainly come to that conclusion. He was a brilliant actor.

Lilac

dear lilac.
Your dad and mine had a lot in common! He had the most piercing blue eyes and he'd stare with so much hate i wouldn't be able to move either. Or else i couldn't control my facial muscles and I would begin to smile, which of course made him even angrier, but it must have been a nervous reaction because i couldn't stop! Serves him right, I reckon, ha ha.
Do you think it possible that people attract romantic partners to heal deeper patterns that remain from childhood? I've often read about it, but lately it feels really, really true. And during my self-treatment, when that sense of forgiveness comes up for my ex, it automatically jumps to images of my father.
Do you still feel that pain in your neck? (oh, of course you do, its your ex!) hope things go well with the solicitor!
Still, because you brought it up, maybe past healing might help you now in your present?
Best wishes,
lyssa