The Reiki Cafe 

I am looking for confirmation relly, I guess on two dreams I had last night.

The first dream was wonderful! I dreamt of my Mother in-law Sandy, who It have talked alot about on the baord. She appeared to me as a gracious Queen that took interest in me as a daughter. I was shown how she had taught me to find my center, my power as a woman, strength and love of self in motherhood and marriage. The words on a note in the dream were "What is in your heart". She is always in my heart and more so now that she is sick with cancer.

The second dream was as horrible as the first was wonderful. It was of a man, only a voice, that was stalking me and my family, threatening us but to get at me emotionally, mentally. He had a horrifying voice, calm, patient but determined to cause fear and take away the power that I had. He knew every aspect of my life, my house, family.

My thoughts are that the secondd ream were more of the fear that I have regarding Sandy being ill and her speaking of her passing with me. That I feel threatened of the loss and it will drain my power of self if she is not here.

Does this make sense? I have been keeping my emotions very close to the vest regarding her and have not allowed myself to cry.

Thank you for your thoughts,
Tracey

Hi Tracey,

Yes I think you are spot on with your interpretation. It is exactly what I thought as I read both parts of your post.

Perhaps allowing yourself to cry privately and release some of the fear and emotion that you are holding would help you. Suppressed emotions often have a way of working themselves very vividly into our dreams.

Gentle Blessings
Helen

Dear Tracey,
My reaction to your dream was pretty close to what you posted :)
Sandy is such a significant part of your life that what she has shared with you is already part of you. She is a part of your self. Grief lifts with time and what remains is the most enduring testimonial...in our hearts, our words and our actions.
You are trying to be strong for Sandy. :) Take some time to deal with your feelings as well, perhaps with someone not too close to the situation who will listen & let you vent. Actually it may allow you to be more comfortable if you dont have to worry so much about keeping your emotional gaurd up, let off some of the pressure & you can probably be more in the "present" for you & for Sandy.
A close relationship with a mother in law is quite a blessing that not everyone experiences. Think that says a great deal about the two of you.

peace & joy,
holobon

Otoharo!

I have been listening today to a Lazaris tape on health and well-being. It describes how we stuff emotions in our bodies somewhere when we do not express them. And how the cells of the body are each one conscious of our wishes and will follow our wishes. What we call illness is thus the playing out of our own wish in some way. Or the playing out of what we have stuffed. Before we can die, we have to clear out these stuffed emotions. Things like cancer are tools for getting rid of what we have stuffed. Etc.

In this context of what I have listened to all day, your report of your dreams seem to me to be showing you both the surface picture and the picture of stuffing.

finality

Dear Tracey,
you are 'grieving' the first part of you dream was/is remembering all the 'good loving, fun, times when Sandy was fit & well...
(taking a wild guess here I would say you did not have a close relationship with your own mother).... (which is N/A to me, or anyone on the board).....& you are going to miss her so 'very' much, like losing part of yourself...
the 2nd part is still the 'grieving' process only further along the track... my dear, 'YOU ARE BLOODY ANGRY',this is so 'normal', but you must 'get it 'OUT', or it can turn inward to depression, so go 'scream' into a pillow, knock the stuffing out of your mattress with you 'fists',allow yourself to be ' ANGRY', & 'CRY', no sin to cry, tears are healing & cleansing...
love to you my dear......wendy x