The Reiki Cafe 

Otoharo!

I created a melodrama for myself yesterday and today that brought me up sharp. As always, melodrama brings out lessons in bold releif! Teaching that reiki I class was a great inspiration. At the same time, I have brought myself to a crisis in writing music. One top of that, I meet one of my old companions at the super market. She wanted to get together with me and a mutual friend. All these super events converged at the same time. In sharing my feelings and impressions with my partner, I came up against a realization that I do not have privy to the spiritual information that she does. This stimmied me. Why was that? From various feedbacks, I also recognized that I am not being punished, but I have brought this condition on myself by allowing a sludge type energy to clog up my works.

Looking back at how I live my life, i found that I fill up gaps of time, with reading, working puzzles, playing solataire, etc. These intellectual activities invited ego system back in! Back to square one. I am not generalizing here, but I can not afford to do anything intellectual. I had allowed ego so strong an influence in my life, the least little opening and I have lost it!

As a result of this melodrama, I renewed my choice to BE MYSELF only, with no ego at all. That is my prime choice now. All other choices I make sure are harmonious with this prime one. And as a result of an invitation to reenter social activity, I discovered this music I write does not belong to me. I can not use it without getting permission. Ordinarily, i write one melody right after I arise. Today, i have received a number of them all during the day. The value of it has changed completely in my perception. I invited these old friends to come and hear me play! Well, the shit hit the fan so to speak! how does one wiggle out of this situation without causeing hurt feelings. Actually, I think we all have hurt feelings as a result of my blundering. When I had a CD burned, several years ago, that music was my story. It was mine. But this that comes now is not mine.

The only people I talk to are you on this board, my reiki partner, and now my two students. Of course occasional contact with local residents, one old gardening friend nearing the age of ninety. I am just not able to sustain social relationships. Ego system is strong in these. I still have to remain primarily in silence and solitude. And with music.

What kind of spiritual path is this? As Enya says, "Pilgrim, it's a long way to find out who you are". And its even a longer way to become that.

finality

Maybe it is also ego that doesnt want social relationships? Maybe your good friends would like to hear you play? what a dim world it would be if people kept music or anything to themselves!

really I think balance is key to life, dare I say some ego is good ?? Its like rainy days, we wish everyday was sunny but rain is necessary, it is balance.

that is my thoughts, and my path is not your path.

peace,
H.

Hmm as for the entirety of this situation i am not sure how to comment.

In terms of you BEING YOU, I do not believe that means you have to forego social interaction.

Right off the bat on reading that statement, I intuitively thought that the lesson for you at this time may very well be that in order to truly BE you must be able to do this regardless of the situation you are in. To find your inner self at all times. Not just by arranging your life and habits according to what allows you to BE.

Your Way must be carried with you through thick and thin.

To me not interacting with those around you whether online,offline etc. Is turning your back on that which we seek to feel the connection with.

Carry your vibration into every corner of your world. Don't limit yourself from learning and BEING.

Creating a "safe spot" where you can allow yourself to BE may be neccessary for your journey at some point. But to stay this way indefinitely is in my opinion, not truly living, and not truly BEING. In a way it's running away from a difficult situation.

Just my two cents worth.It happens to be a topic i've been discussing with my guides. Perhaps this information is for me and my Way. But I immediately felt this answer was for you as well.

Otoharo!

Dave. you are right, that once a person can BE THEMSELVES in all situations and conditions, one is finished with the journey. I am in an in-between state. Some energies are very difficult to navagate in. Othertimes I just move through them like the prow of a ship. I do that a lot. Staying in BEING is the final state. In the meantime, I am still subject to the ego system contamination from time to time and when around people in normal circumstances, ego system is so strong I get contaminated, sometimes stuck. You can not really know what I am saying until you are there, too. That is why I am on this board.

When ego was first pointed out to me with the expectation that I would gladly release it, I felt deeply confused because it felt like me. How could I release a part of me? Once I did release enough that I could again feel ME and BE ME what a difference! I do gladly release it any time I have it identified. It is very sneaky, very sly. We used to call it the Sly One. but it really is not a one, a being. it is only an energy that we humans, it was not created by the Holy.

I am not running away from a difficult situation, I am in the process of healing what in me gets stuck, and healing the energy that remains around me from other people which brings the ego system here into my place. I relish difficult situations and challanges. I used to teach school! There is no safe place on earth yet. One has to create it inside oneself. Back in Chulan, I did that for most of the 120,000 years I have been on earth. It is not that I never had it. I did. Ego was the trap that caught me. ITs been a long time healing and clearing. How I got caught in the first place was responding to the desire to experience this earth making of ego. We never had it on Chulan nor in any planet I ever lived on. I have shared a number of times what resulted when I dove in to experience ego. I honestly thought I could simply heal it all and free humans. I was mistaken. IT was ego effect that resulted in my loosing immortality in the first place.

finality

Otoharo!

H. I like social relationships. I get restless because I am gregarious and love to relate and share. Balance is key in life. I know my friends do want to hear me play and to hear this new music. And I would dearly love to share it with them. Once I have cleared and or healed whatever is creating this diturbance, I will probably have permission to play it for them, unless they still have hurt feelings. But I have work to do on me first.

finality

Hi Finality,

In sharing my feelings and impressions with my partner, I came up against a realization that I do not have privy to the spiritual information that she does. This stimmied me. Why was that?

May I ask, why should you have the same spiritual information that your partner does? Are you not two seperate beings, learning what is necessary for your own individual growth? You still have a right to learn seperately from each other - in fact that's a bonus - because you are confidants you have the ability to share your combined knowledge and teach each other. Do not be hard on yourself because you are 'not on the same level' as your partner is. You are you, and she is she. There are no levels here - just be who you are.

Looking back at how I live my life, i found that I fill up gaps of time, with reading, working puzzles, playing solataire, etc. These intellectual activities invited ego system back in! Back to square one. I am not generalizing here, but I can not afford to do anything intellectual.

I don't understand how these times of relaxation are inviting the ego back in. Isn't fun an important part of spiritual development? Isn't spending time with puzzles or solitaire a practice in mindfulness? Even reading can be honoring your spiritual growth.

And as a result of an invitation to reenter social activity, I discovered this music I write does not belong to me.

If you are writing it now because you feel someone expects you to write it - then you are right, it does not belong to you. But if 1 song a day or 10 songs a day are coming out, just because you feel like writing them, then let them come out. You wouldn't be inspired to write these songs, if you weren't meant to.

I have always thought you seem to write your music because it is stirring in your soul until it bubbles out. All on this board have been witness to your joy when a new song bursts forth. You haven't lost that ability Finality, it is there within you. Perhaps this timing is the release you need to open up more of your musical doors.

The only people I talk to are you on this board, my reiki partner, and now my two students. Of course occasional contact with local residents, one old gardening friend nearing the age of ninety. I am just not able to sustain social relationships. Ego system is strong in these. I still have to remain primarily in silence and solitude. And with music.

I can't help but wonder if part of your learning at this time is to find the balance between living a life of solitude, and living a life with loving, nurturing friendships. You don't need to shut yourself down from connecting with others, nor do you need to have many faces in front of you. One thing I am certain of though, you have the ability to be honest with yourself, and will know if there are 'too many' people involved in your life.

I'm not sure if this helps or not, but it is my sincerest wish that you continue to be the bright, wonderful person you are.

With light and love,
Featherpoint

Otoharo!

Featherpoint, Thanks for taking the time to respond to me. I will answer each one. Way back when the rebellion hit people on earth and people made their stand for or aganst, people lost the ability to "read" incoming information from the center of being which had always been "readable" to them before the rebellion. We as humanity are still unable to "read" it. My partner can and I remember being able always to be touch with constantly the incoming messages. The only reason I can not now is that there is more to clear out of the physical body. And any other issues in me will manifest in the physical in order to be available for healing. This is one of my guages of knowing where I am in my journey. It will be a trmendous milestone when I, too, can 'read' it. My chosen journey includes this. I will not settle for less regardless the price.

My reference to how I get stuck in intellect is not understandable until you, too, are choosing to stay out of intellect and in feelings, beingness, Oneness. There was nothing wrong with the relaxation of reading. What became unacceptable to me is that I got stuck and had great difficulty in loosening myself. One day you will very easily recognize stuckness. I tend to get addicted to solving puzzles, for instance. (It would be like an alcoholic wanting to stay away from drinking any alcohol because addiction is not far away for him) IT is easier for me not to do puzzles at all, perhaps even stop getting the daily paper so puzzles are not in easy distance. etc. I have been addicted to puzzles since childhood.

Your reference to writing music is valid. Where I am is a different place. The first years that music came, it was focused on me, and expressing my story. It was very personal yet is now available when others come to taking those same steps. I had not stopped to consider that the thrust of the music is now different and what the difference means. MYSELF, simply caused me to stop and consider. (I have shared in the past that I have been commissioned by the Universe to bring in music. I have long been a musician and what I receive now is likely from an ancient repetoire of mine. No matter.) Each day, new awarenesses occur to me about music. It is a focus of energy through which the Universe can get through to me even when I am stopped up otherwise. It took me by surprise that there is value in this music that is not apparent to me or anybody else, yet. OK. The Universe got my attention! I am all ears. And the response aways comes by being inundated with more melodies. They seem to be coming out my ears. I called my sister, an accomplished artist to see if she had moments comparable to this. She does not, but an artist friend of hers does. So I found feedback finally. That I am not alone here! I now recognize that I (the me in this body) am at a place of learning technically how longer compositions happen. Ones with movements within movements, etc. Its like stepping into the state of kindergarten at a more advanced level. So, these melodies may take on a metamorphosis, and are not yet ready to be shared!

The world of loving, nurturing friendships happens to be this board, now. Later (and who knows how much later) I will no longer choose solitude and silence. I only choose it now out of necessity for I, too, am an outgoing, nurturing kind of person. I use to say the same thing to my partner. Lo and behold, for her to be where she is, required her to stay close to the Universe. That may have to be my salvation also. It is a much easier path than slopping through slush (metaphorically speaking).

I love the two friends who I postponed an event with. When I get myself straightened out perhaps I will have them over. One of them wants to read the Course in Miracles with me. If the other one wants that, then we would have a common focus. Right now, however, the focus can not be on music. They are not musicians and would not share with me what I yearn to share. You conclusion is very kind indeed. Thank you.

finality