The Reiki Cafe 

As an energy worker do you think you are more vocal or temper what you say to family and friends when discussing any area that might touch upon who you are and what you do? I think what we say to other energy workers and clients is different than how we deal with others.

In the Celestine Vision he says we should speak our truth and be the spokepersons for the evolving of our earth now. I then wonder why we have such a hard time with those closest to us. I think they fear we will change so much they will lose the us they have know so well. I wonder why if they trusted our judgments before they do not seem to trust in us now. So do we persevere trying to spread the joy of who we now are and hope on some level they are still listening? You know, that staring off into space look they usually get on their faces and then change the subject. For the most part for a long time I gave up on enlightening most of my family.

Do you find you turn down certain invitations to events because they no longer serve you well? Is this speaking and living our truth or simply maintaining our own comfort zone? I am finding it more and more difficult to even go out shopping as I feel so drained when I return home. I think it was Dakota who wrote about standing in line and sensing all of the vibes coming off of the people around her. I always intend to walk in Reiki especially when I am out and with others and I honestly forget to put up protections for the most part. I am getting better at that since MedicineBear warned me of this and then I remembered what my second Reiki teacher told me about people being drawn to our light. They want it. I certainly hope that the day will come when everyone will shine brightly with their very own light and not want to take another’s but blend with the light of others to shine even brighter.

These thoughts came to me as I turned down a last minute change in plans invitation to my son’s birthday party this Saturday. Initially last week it was to be at their home and just the family. As of yesterday it is now being held in a party room at an apartment building with many friends to be there. I wrestled with everything in me about me not wanting to go there. So I am not sure if it is living my truth that won or my comfort zone that won but at any rate I am not going. Instead my son’s Aunt and I will go out to dinner and have a quiet evening together. I suggested we still have the family party at their home or ours at a later date as father is on an out of town fishing trip, and for them to enjoy themselves and not see this as a problem. I did not change the plans, they did and I am just not up for a huge party. (Maybe it’s my cold working on me too.)

I guess if I have to choose I would say I feel strong that I am living my truth as I have changed and this is who I am and how I navigate in the world now. Even more so since Reiki I have tried to negotiate a healthier balance with all of whom I relate with. In all honesty those who continue to live in negativity I have kept a distance from. I do hope this is wisdom on my part, living my truth and not something else like being judgmental.

Any thoughts or experiences?

Donna

Otoharo!

Donna, I love it when someone brings up something really juicy like you have just done! Leave it to Donna, eh? I seldom go out except to buy supplies. I have no social encounters. It has been much more difficult for me as I uncover all my masks and clear out all the stuff. I feel like living without skin. Just the vibrations of others is grating. Coll, back in the 70's, set up places where people could withdraw to meet just this situation. Going out to eat is out of the question. For one thing, I can't eat the food, and I have difficulty digesting when I have eaten in that atmosphere.

After attending a retreat with Coll, he brought up to us, that our loved ones and friends may meet us with just the opposition you describe. They sense change in us and fear they are losing us, or fear our change may change them also. I love sharing my changes with my loved ones, and these days, they make no response, so I know they would just as well, not hear me say it. Nevertheless, I can't help myself from writing them a report of all the glorious stuff I am experiencing. They do not have to read the letters, whether on paper or in e-mail. I can't help myself, I really want them to know my joy. Whether they share it or not.

Even on this board. My sharings probably get to be boring to others. I think I would burst if I couldn't share somewhere.

finality

Wow, you ask some powerful questions.
We honor ourselves when we listen to what it is we truly need/want. I have found that when I do not honor my true self, I become sick, or I can make life miserable for those around me. I think we can feel the difference in our "body messages" between going out of a comfort zone to grow versus going somewhere that does not honor who we are. When it is for growth that we leave a comfort zone, there is still a pull, a yearning, a bit of excitement mixed with the, "oh, let me just stay here."

And think of it, when we are true about where we are at a given time, do we not give permission to others to be truthful about where they are at important times, too?

I have a friend I adore. He lives in a very warm and humid place. I told him that I could not visit him in the summer because I have no energy in intense humididty and heat. Does this mean I don't love him? No. Just meant I found a different time to visit, when we could both enjoy the time spent. My mother hates to travel and does not like visitors at Christmas. Does this mean we don't love each other? No, it means we understand our needs. People think it odd we don't visit at Christmas....we just find other times to share.

As for sharing our truth and our true selves with those closest to us....my RM told us the first day of class, Level One, that Reiki may change us and our lives, so that we may choose to separate from some close to us. That did not happen to me, but I remember those words....people do fear losing the "old" us. I guess I have levels of sharing my truths. I guage it by how comfortable the listener is. When my mom starts yawning or changing the topic as I discuss a spiritual experience....well, it just isn't too satisfying, so I drop it. I offer her Reiki when she needs it, and she loves it, but she still finds it quite bizarre that it helps. At the hospital , I would not even mention the work I do with those doctors who are quite tunnel visioned...it would be a waste of breath. I actually have to be very conscious of protecting myself in that environment...it is very hard on me. Yesterday, I used cypress essential oil to protect me and it was the first day in a very long time that I did not leave the hospital feeling totally drained.

Yes, I know what you mean about others gravitating towards light. I have SO many people who are constantly barraging me with questions about many aspects of healing.....and most of them never follow through on anything I say...but they keep coming back and back to hear more. It is an interesting thing. Almost like an animal circling a new object, looking at it from every angle...is it safe? Can I live with this?

Most days I am OK with this...it is how it is supposed to be, but some days, it makes me feel a bit alone ...thank goodness for the Reiki cafe. And what a joy when I do get to connect to a friend who is involved in spiritual growth and healing....and we get to share deeply.

I have found that Reiki often helps me to see past negativity in many people....but there are some people and some times that I just don't have the energy to deal with them....then I think it is WISE to retreat. Discriminating. Not judgemental, because I know that even I am not 100 percent pure light! LOL

Hope that cold resolves quickly.
Blessings,
Feather

Hi Donna
As always, I am touched by the depth of wisdom in what you say.... and the relevance to my own journey.
Feather and Finality, I also found reading your words a continuation of the echo I felt reading Donna's.....
(yes Finality, I know that feeling of bursting to share!!!)

Donna, I do find that I am not "more vocal" now (as opposed to my pre-lightworker days, if that can even be used as a description). Nor do I temper what I say. I don't need to because I do not say anything, unless asked. What I do talk about, whenever anything of a spiritual nature comes up, does not make me feel uncomfortable, or even in a quandary as to how to describe or share - you see, the way it is for me, this is the most comfortable i have ever felt, this is the truth for me, so I just live it - it is in my speech, my actions, my thoughts....it is second nature and I do not feel "different"...only RIGHT or natural.
I find that most of what I feel and experience now is so personal and relevant to my own journey, that I do feel there is no way it would be important to anyone else. I don't feel the need to talk about it to my family and friends, unless of course, these friends are on a similar path and working with light and energy. Generally I find clues if it is right to share....because they will say something that is a sign for me. People of like mind or journeys seem to be drawn to me (I love the synchronicity!)

I also find that my writing/poetry is where I express a lot of my "being".....and generally do not share it unless there is a strong compulsion to do so. I find that those whom it is right to talk these things over with, seem to find me. Those who wish to share, generally appear in my life. I trust that. The people my writing is for, are the ones who read it. Well, that is the way I see it now.

As for the blank looks, oh yes, I certainly know those ones....like the shutters go down, so of course, I do not make people feel uncomfortable.....and speak of my stuff....nor do I try to change them or even assume that my way is better than theirs or easier or more true...after all, they have their own comfort zones and belief systems and that is how they live and that is their journey. Who am I to deliberately rock their boats......after all, if they want to be shaken, they can well do that for themselves! If they are ready for a light explosion, then they already have it programmed into their own flight plan!

The one thing I have discovered here at the Cafe.....although I am not "Reiki", and have not got around to learning...... the way that you all speak of it....the comments made that "after reiki" your lives changed, you saw differently, people looked at you differently etc etc...
is how I feel about my journey of discovery, my awareness of Spirit. It has progressed over every year of my life and I cannot say there was a point when it changed suddenly - it has just been a growing, evolving awareness and shift in my own perceptions and seeing. However, if I compare how things are with me today, as opposed to, say, twenty years ago, the difference is huge, immense, very obvious. But the feelings have always been there, now I just know what it is all about! I work with energy, light etc in my own life, and so everything and everyone looks different to me now....or perhaps I see "more", "feel" more, am more in tune with the universal energies. I love this.

Just my take on "how it is"....am so glad to read yours!
Thanks for bringing up a truly interesting topic of conversation!
Wendy

Hi Donna,

What wonderful questions and thoughts! The questions that are asked (here in the cafe) so often encourage me to look inside myself and usually I find answers which are such an important part of my growth. I love discovering and learning about who I am, why I am here.

I love talking about Reiki, but unfortunately most of the people I know don't share the same passion with it as I do, so I will temper my comments somewhat out of respect to them. Meeting up with like minded individuals, such as those in the Cafe' has been absolutely wonderful, and I wouldn't trade these 'conversations' for anything. Some of my family I can have great talks about Reiki, life, energy - the whole thing. But others in the family will get the glazed look, or quickly change subjects. That is fine. I know they will ask questions when they are ready.

You mentioned about how some people fear we will change once becoming Reiki (or any other spiritual seeker?) But I must ask, is it really that we sense they are fearing the change in us? Or is it us, fearing the changes in ourselves? I do know some who are fearful I will change into someone different than what they are comfortable with. But I also have to admit that sometimes I am fearful I will change into someone unknown to me. Laff, does that make sense? Like everyone, I have a certain comfort zone. Reiki is helping me to push back those walls, and broaden my scope. The more I grow with Reiki, the more I learn about myself. With this learning comes changes. If these changes are too big, or coming too fast, I find I will pull back to give my self time to catch up. I am learning to enjoy who I am more and more each day, but it is growth that's best taken in little steps. Do I express the joy of who I am right now? You bet! I'm constantly hearing people make comments about how much I smile. I can't help it! I am happy and joyful almost all the time, and it just bursts forth.

You asked if turning down some invitations because they no longer serve, is speaking our truth or maintaining a comfort zone? I would think it is both at the same time. If we weren't speaking our truth, then we would let that little voice talk us into going to these events wouldn't we? So while we are being truthful and acknowledging that the event may not be appropriate for us, we are also working within our new found comfort zone.

Have I have changed specifically because of Reiki? I don't think so. But my studies and practice of Reiki are part of it. Changes have occured because of so many things. Every little experience has added to who I am this minute. Every day I grow a little older and wiser (hopefully). I see the world change around me, birth and death, happiness and sadness, rain and sunshine, spring, summer, winter and fall, the list goes on and on. All of this contributes to the growth of who I am.

Thank you for your thought provoking post!

With light and love,
Featherpoint

Hello friends,

Very interesting discussion topic :-}
I can identify with the blank looks and feeling alienated. But then that happened before Reiki too :-)

However, I would say that on the whole, my time with people is easier and more carefree than before Reiki. I am more compassionate, this is readily apparant and people respond to it. Strangers seem to look at me more (esp. men heehee), almost like they are trying to figure me out and that is before I have said anything.
My self confidence has (and is) increased in leaps and bounds and people respond to this too.

In terms of family and old friends, most of them know that I'm into Reiki, but few of them (if any) really understand what it is. But they have seen the changes in my behaviour and this alone makes them tolerant. So although I don't really connect with them on this as such, Reiki has brought me closer to them.

I don't try to 'live my truths' by lecturing/explaining, but rather by my actions. These speak greater volumes than words ever could. It's almost as if people absorb good energy even if they are not aware of it and then become more open to it.

I do experience the drained feeling, but with good practices of protection and looking after myself physically, I am able to mitigate this most of the time.

Just my experience so far.

<< hugs >>
Natalie

Love this question.

I do approach people differently and they approach me differently.

The ones who truly know me and support me on my spiritual path are as excited as I to talk about it. Not many of these!!

The ones who know some of my path want readings and then walk away saying "I love Be...but she is whacked."

The ones who roll their eyes, give blank stares are probably the ones I want to communicate with the most. I know they are the ones who have the best questions and or insights that I need to hear. So I try to pay extra attention the eye rollers of this planet for any invitation to discuss their path with them. Patience is a virtue...I keep telling myself.

As to changing and knowing that my decisions about my life is my decision....Finally getting this one!!!!!
To go against "regular" society norms is something I always managed to do even when I thought I was conforming to the standard. I have evolved into this person I am now. To me... all the people following rituals and practices just because they are normal and comfortable are the poor honeys of the world.
Can you imagine back to when you didn't understand your path and you just followed along with everyone else. Can you imagine going back to 1 hour on Sunday of "humbleness" "sinners" and then beeping your horn at the little old lady driving to slow in the church parking lot.

Sending love to the stand still people (stuck in a rut, content not to learn grow or discover more about themselves) the biggest eye rollers is my privledge. I just send them a warm spiritual hug. Their eyes rolling back in their head makes me smile and really grateful that I am who I am now.

I am a people person. I don't call people anymore to have that people connection I needed so dearly in the past. Really comfortable at home, being me, being with my family. I would have been one of the blank face rolling eyes people if you would have told me 20 years ago that this is who I would become.

Time changes us all.....Thank God.
Be

I wanted to thank those of you who shared your thoughts and truths. Much of what was said also rings true for me.

Donna

INteresting conversations as I am on myway to become a reiki master. I find myself just being more aware of others behaviors and the reaons behind alot of the negative ones. I believe it just boils down to loving yourself and loving others unconditionally.I think its hard sometimes not to take things personally but reiki has helped me take the high rode. I too have distanced myself from energy drainers family and friends who could suck the life out of you. I also find myself drained when around large groups of people.This summer I am taking a leap of faith and living in a refugee house to help them resettle here. The people surrounding this are congregationalist Christians and so wonderful that I know this will be a stepping stone for me into a more positive territory...Thanks for your thoughts eirelassey

Hi Donna

I just wondered if anyone has had the opposite experience - people who you thought would be opposed to reiki who turned out to be very interested and supportive.

My parents (bless them) have been like that. I thought they were quite conservative and uninterested in 'alternative' things, but they can't get enough of reiki and ask lots of questions, and are really interested in how I'm developing it.

Some people at work are the same - one of the girls who comes from a fiercely Catholic Irish family was one of the keenest to try it on her stiff neck, and I just smiled enigmatically when it caused her to sleep for 12 hours non-stop for the first time in ages.

Sometimes we can be surprised by support and encouragement we didn't know we had. I have to say though being a Taoist helps this for me - compared to people talking about an obscure chinese religion reiki is an easy subject!

Sal
xxx

Sal, I've had this experience, also, with people I'd never expect to being the very ones who responded positively. It's always a wonderful surprise! My dad, who was 77 at the time, first asked a few questions, trying to understand, and then asked me to please work on his neck and shoulders. He is one of my most frequent clients, though I've never had the opportunity to do a full session with him.

But I've had similar surprises in the workplace. In fact, just last week a young woman who's only been there since January heard me say something about Reiki to my closest desk mate. She spun around and said, "Who does Reiki here--you??" and I responded that I did. She said she had actually moved to California at one time so that she could avail herself of more alternative treatments for her chronic condition, as there was nothing here at the time. She could not afford to stay there, and moved back home (mid-Atlantic coast) for now. I told her that I'd be happy to offer her Reiki any time. She said she was currently in remission right now (I didn't even know she had a problem until that day), but she'd certainly remember to ask me if she felt she needed help.

It makes me wonder if some of the people in my workplace that I have NOT spoken to about Reiki might also be ones who would react differently than I expect. I've had everything from blank stares and then changing the subject (never to return to it), to questions and agreeing they'd like to try it, but never doing so, to people who jumped in and had a session right away. Everyone who has come to me from work has loved the Reiki, and several have returned many times. (I have not charged my coworkers, though a few have insisted on paying something and I accepted if I knew they were not in dire financial need.)

I did free "sample sessions" at a health fair a few months ago, and a nurse from another dept. saw me and said, "How long have you been doing THIS?" and you could just tell from the tone of voice that she thought it was flaky and was in wonderment that I was actually doing such a thing. Oh, well. She helps people in her way; I help people in mine. I was expecting it to be spread all over my workplace within a week after that, and possibly it was, but no one has said anything to me about it.

Namaste,
Lionheart

Hi Sal & Lionheart,

I have often thought this.
My reluctance and fear of rejection may be stopping me connecting with those folks who I need to most.
Just because of the law of sheer numbers, there must be more of us out there in the workplace.
How to find those folk is the question.

The other day our company had an event after work for Yoga and Meditation. I put my name down, but because of major oversubscription, I couldn't get a place. I thought that was a place for potentially meeting like-minded folk in the workplace.
I'm sure they're out there.

Actually, my last manager was one of those surprising stories. When she found out, she was really interested in it. Never came for a treatment though. But she was always very supportive and even wanted to bring the whole idea of ways of dealing with stress into our weekly team meetings. She said I could speak about Reiki and another of my co-workers about Reflexology and yet another one of us about NLP. There were a few of us who were into alternative healing. Due to work pressures, it never happened though. Still is was great to work in such a supportive atmosphere.
My job has changed substantially in the last 6 months though and I no longer have the same support structure. I miss it. But I am sure it will build up again.

My 2 cents worth...

Blessings
Natalie

Sal,

I really can't say supportive of my way of life, but for most, tolerable. Most of my contact is with family except during the summer months.

One time while staying at a cottage on the Lake I finally met my cousins dear friends. The mother was told about Reiki and that if she wanted to I would provide it. She was extrememly skeptical and brought up their Catholic religion. I just let the conversation end itself. In a while she brought out photo's taken of her after her injury. I looked at them and we talked of her medical care. Then out of blue she said ok, you can put your hands on me and so I did, just one hand on her injured leg. She got into it and I did the entire leg. When she got up to walk she found she could walk and not limp so it seems she went into their cottage and spread the word. Her daughter came out and asked to have her arm worked on. The next morning mother and two daughters showed up at our cottage and all wanted Reiki. I complied and bartered with the one daughter for a haircut later that day. Later we were invited down for a cookout and the one Aunt who had been sitting further away from us the day before began to ask me about Reiki. Seems she has rheumatoid arthritis and other problems and said for the first time in years she was able to walk after getting up from a night's sleep! So there ya go with Reiki fallout. Since then they are very eager to see me during our visits in the summer and me to see them as they are a very lovely family.

So yes, I figured they would be opposed but it turned out welcomed this. I am sure they wish me well but as far as I know do not support me in my endeavors.

So like the movie said, build it and they will come and so it goes. I accept and support myself and for me that works well.
That's why this kind of community is so valuable as so many of us have a need to learn and discuss matters that we just might not have with anyone or anywhere else.

I think it is terrific that your parents are behind you, that is the loving way to be.

Be well,

Donna

there is a bird that recently started visiting my feeder. it is a white dove with a black ring around its neck, a male, i believe. it is the only one of its kind, standing out from the brown mourning doves, sparrows, and finches that i usually see out there. this dove sits by itself and coos a series of notes that differ from every other bird song. it's call unheard by any other one of its kind.
i often feel exactly like this bird. perhaps this is why he has found me.
since reiki came into my life i have gone through so many changes; some good, and some, well...i'm not so sure now.
but i find that i have changed. i have become less patient with bad behaviour in others and have become more vocal about something that i feel is wrong.
like the guy who wouldn't give his seat to a very pregnant woman on the train. he got an earful from me. then there was the guy who left his truck outside my job with music blaring loudly (he wasn't even in the truck). a loud screaming match resulted in him leaving but i didnt come out of it without some emotional scars. (he had the nerve to call me an animal).
one of my coworkers, someone i used to be friends with, made some remark about wanting to have sex with a young girl that comes into the store (she is thirteen years old). since then, i have gotten into countless screaming matches with him, i have complained about him (to no avail, the boss likes him) and find that i can not be around him anymore.
i find that i am absorbing too much negativity from people around me and that it is simply too draining to deal with humans. unfortunately, i am not independently wealthy and have to go off in the world every single day to earn a living. and that involves dealing with people: both nice people and not-so nice.
one of the last yoga classes i taught before i stopped teaching, a guy came in towards the end. he didnt say much but i began to feel some negativity coming from him. after the class was over i became violently ill and had to rush home.
i can't really offer any advice, i'm still trying to figure out how to deal with all this "stuff" that has come to the surface.
i don't think you are being judgemental, maybe just being more honest with yourself than you used to be?
skywatcher crow.

Otoharo!

skywatcher crow, you describe your situation very graphically. From my own experiences, athe next step for you is to be all that you are and at the same time keep your cool while being it. That is a hard one to learn, but once you lose it, ego can take your energy from you very easily and will persists in provoking you more.

finality

Skywatcher crow,

First let me say I wish you many loving memories as you come upon the anniversary of Shanti's passing...I know how this feels as I have lost some wonderful pets/family members myself.

Thank you for your reply. I too think I am just being more aware and more honest and true to myself. I find I am much more patient with family members and less with the general public. The public who never seem to smile, push and shove or cut me off on the road. Like where's the fire? Slow down a bit and see what you pass without seeing. I have always been a people watcher, a nature watcher. I begin each day with taking inventory of myself and everything around my enviroment. Small joys as you said, like the birds that come to you. What it looks like and smells like outside. Just looking for the heartbeat of life as I wake up and have my decaf.

People like your workmate making such negative comments about a young child is definitely sickening and I can only hope this young girl did not hear this remark... try to save your energy and don't give up your power to someone like this. Try to surround the area with positive energy and just hope it can penetrate his tough shell. The most important thing is to keep up your protections around yourself. The more distance the better it would be.

As I had said before even grocery shopping is not a pleasant task anymore. The clerks seem unhappy, the shoppers, many children are yelling and crying and demanding more and more. Many years ago people from your neighborhood shopped at the same store so it was a place to say hello and catch up on what was going on and all in all a more pleasant experience. I think now with parental dual income families, teens working in the same families, everyone feels they have to rush from errand to errand dragging children along who do not want to be there. People are crabby and tired and seemingly drenched in negativities. So many of us have been caught up in the materialistic end of life. We have so many more things but so many less real things. The things that matter. I do understand people need to work to survive and live well. I think some people need to take a really hard and long look at why they are working. Is it to pay the necessary bills or is it to have that 3rd or 4th car, tv's or computers or..... families just might be a bit more happy/positive if they could spend more time together. Begin at home and let if flow outward.

So here I am still implementing my "out the door in 04" saying. Simplifying and tossing out or passing along the too many things I have that no longer serve a purpose to me. I do try hard not to be judgmental, a better word is discernment. Anything that fits me like a glove I keep near, if the rest is just too negative or too much to bother with for the most part I keep a distance from those.

I do not mean this to be a rant but just sharing my line of thinking on this thread.

All blessings to you and to Shanti...

Donna

Hi, Donna,
You struck a chord with me . Seems this world has gone crazy. I guess that is why I am out on that wilderness path. Welcoming those who come along. Preparing the way. They are few in comparison to the possibilities. Sometimes it feels self centered, but it is the only way that seems to "fit."
Love,
Feather

thank you for your thoughts, this week is a double-whammy for me: the anniversary of shanti's passing and my 40th (yikes!) birthday.
i think i need to spend some serious time away from people and regroup. i'm planning a hiking trip on saturday (unless we get bad weather) to spend some quality time with the crows and breathe in some clean air.
i think finality had it right when she said something about ego draining energy. being around people all day, hearing so much chatter everywhere. it seems as if ego has to chatter twice as loud as to not get swallowed up by everything around.
often, at work, i go around and clean the shelves with lavender soap (my little aromatherapy secret) and find that it does create a more relaxed atmosphere. of course, there is always the cranky three-year old to contend with...
namaste,
skywatcher crow.

Happy Birthday greetings to you!

Let us hope for nice weather for you also...

Donna