The Reiki Cafe 

It is so easy to say that we have endured enough problems in this life time. Due to this thought, we may have stopped trying to forgive and forget. We may even have remembered so much from the past that we cannot "give in" anymore.

I find that we can fell into the trap of thinking that we would never do the wrong things committed by others or that others are worse than us.
I realize that the more denfensive I get, the less I admit or see that I could have made mistakes just as bad as others.
The lesson in life could be: to keep learning and forgiving rather than comparing greatness and maintaining superiority.
I glad to have spent time in reviewing the past and changing in the present days for a better future. I have relearnt many lessons with the help of people I have met both here and in life.

sigh. Still need to have endurance, wisdom and desire to sustain the tough but hopefully still enjoyable stay on earth.

Take care and may hope be still available to those who seek it.

Let's keep our spirits up.... hopefully we can conquer the challenges in life by being spiritual.

Dear Starjasmine,

..oh yes, I have learned that I should never say "I will never do that"...it is like sending a magnet in when you do not wish to find metal !! Sometimes, I wonder if that declaration seeds the very thing we wish to avoid.

peace & joy,
holobon

Dear Holobon,
I like and agree with the wise sayings mentioned in your reply.
We can indeed attract things/ situations that we are trying to avoid.
I say things like "I would not get angry like the neighbour next door". Yet, I am to find out later that I could not avoid it.
I find myself hopeless preventing myself for taking "an eye for an eye". I also cannot seem to tell others that is a bad habit. What is your opinion on the quote ( an eye for an eye)?
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Imagine walking on a slippery with a tray of glasses and pretending in a self assured way (boastful) that you would not slip. The more careless you are in the way you behave the more problems you will face. At least I think this could be true.
Well, better stop here or I might too much too bare...

Take care and I agree with you.

Dear Starjasmine,

Many moons ago when I was young, the "eye for an eye" quote was usually explained to me in regard to taking vengence & justice against another. I was told that it was appropriate to do onto others what they did to you, no more, no less. But these days I think of it this way: consider the act & it's consequences since what we do comes back to us & that is ultimate justice. If negative is done to us & we turn around & duplicate it, we keep negativity alive...but if we turn the other cheek & respond in some positive way, we stop the negativity..at least in that one pathway.
I wish I could say that I am beyond that saying...in time of emotion when a loved one has been harmed, it is hard not to embrace the old teaching. Hopefully, calmer wiser thinking will eventually manifest.

Yes, I see your point about carelessness letting in what we desire to keep out....uh, clumsy me knows ALL about this...HeHe!!

peace & joy,
holobon

Thanks for replying. I think that the circle of vengence can get out of hand. Sometimes, the hurt is so big that we can never really forget or forgive.

I wonder if we can ever really learn to let go or accept the applogies that we get.
I also wonder if we can ever live our lives without wanting to justify every wrong done to us or people that we know. Sometimes I find staying peaceful difficult. How often can we remain unaffected by what is happening around us.

Better stop here, there is always a lot to cope in life.
I prefer to lent my time and attention to spirituality than the things in this world especially what is called the norm.

Take care.

i

Dear Starjasmine,

No reply to this is needed, my friend. Your post moved me & I simply want to share.

Apologies can be hard to accept especially when the hurt is so great. Words do not always soothe that pain. Sometimes they make it worse when the words are hollow.

When I was younger, I carried around a great deal of anger for a betrayal of trust & love that wounded me so much, I could never forget it. To say that it infuenced my life is an under statement. Eventually, I recognized that I was keeping myself attached to that one incident & one person by not forgiving myself & the other person. Did I forgive the other person for their benefit? No, for mine.

Sometimes emotions can be very difficult to control & it seems almost impossible to block negative thought. Time can be a blessing when my heart is not ready to let go.

Sometimes, I wish I had the benefit of being brought up in an environment where the steps to a peaceful heart were taught...I did not. It has been trial & error...sigh, a great deal of error. And I am not there. I think I will have to live another life to get there, but hey, I am making progress!! :)

There are people who walk the earth & do not blame. If one can do it, then so can I. Just making that choice opens up doors.

A close friend has endured more in her life than anyone else I know personally. If she wrote a book with no embellishments, no one would believe it, it sounds like a bad soap opera. Yet she maintains hope & is consistently loving & generous. She has become wiser in her choices over time. Tremendous healing took place once she forgave what most could not and recognized that she was not to blame. ( she acknowledges that the actions taken against her were wrong, she does not approve of them). She inspires me and her act of healing has influenced most all of her family members. They are still not the Brady bunch, but the change is very definite & positive. One person's actions & decision to forgive can have greater impact than we imagine. There is a difference between forgiveness & approval of the action. That was one of the greatest hurdles for me as it flies in the face of what I was taught & accepted early in life.

The hardest step may be to get to the place where we want to forgive. Blame is so easy & often feels appropriate. It can be so ingrained in personal habits/responses that it takes a herculean effort to even see the chain of cause & effect.

Yes, sometimes I do find myself thinking the thoughts you posted, Starjasmine....but small steps repeated often become our path. So I do not dwell there long. We are what we repeatedly do, as Aristotle said.

Thank you for your post, it has prompted a great deal of thought this morning.

peace & joy,
holobon

Dear holobon,
thanks for sharing.
I am grateful for your openess. I find that to be a rare quality.

wishing you pleasant journey with many more great inspirations to come from all directions.
Take care, and do share. I enjoy it.
Life has now more meaning than before, just to know there are wonderful people around.