I hope you enjoy this piece from Paul. He is a beautiful person and I hope you get as much from his writings as I have. Bless you all!!
Surrendering to the Truth of Our Being: An Interview with Paul Ferrini by Jack Blackburn
Paul Ferrini is the author of 17 books on love, healing and forgiveness, including
the bestseller Love without Conditions. Jack Blackburn caught up with Paul at his home in Santa Fe.
Jack: When I read the introduction to Love without Conditions, I was moved to tears at the possibility
of having a personal connection with the Christ Mind. Could you express what that connection has
meant to you and how it came about? Paul: At first, I wasn't comfortable with the idea of Jesus. When
I first began teaching A Course in Miracles, I did so with the disclaimer that it didn't matter who wrote
it. The material spoke for itself. The idea that Jesus was the author pushed everybody's buttons,
including my own. It wasn't until I began hearing this voice that kept saying, "I want you to
acknowledge me," and began having dreams in which Jesus would come to me and teach me, that I
began to realize that I had some connection to this person who claimed to write A Course in Miracles,
and to his radical teaching of love and forgiveness. Jack: What do you consider radical about Jesus'
teaching? Paul: Well, how about "Love your enemy"? That is the most radical teaching ever given in
the history of religion! "Turn the other cheek" is another one. Jack: In Love Without Conditions, Jesus
tells us that you don't turn your cheek so that the other person can slap you on it, but so that the
person can see that you haven't been harmed. Paul: Yes, the attack happens because the person
forgot your true identity, as well as his own. If you show him the damaged cheek, you make the attack
real. If you show him the undamaged cheek, you remind him that you are whole and so is he. When
you remember the truth about yourself and about him, the attack is forgiven, undone, canceled out.
You don't blame him, and he doesn't have to feel guilty. Some people think turning the other cheek is
a sign of weakness. It is anything but that. It is an act of standing up for yourself and the other person
simultaneously. You are not allowing the other person to intimidate you, nor are you responding
aggressively. You are standing your ground without attacking. Jesus teaches absolute truth, not
relative truth. He tells us there are no exceptions. We must learn to love everyone, even the person
who is attacking us, even our enemy who is saying bad things about us. Jack: Can you talk for a
moment about the concept of surrender? Paul: Surrender, in the spiritual sense, is an internal event,
not an external one. It doesn't involve giving our power away to someone or something outside of
ourselves. It involves allowing our ego consciousness to rest in something that is much larger and
more compassionate, which we can call our essence, or the truth of our being. When we align with
our essence, we feel at peace. When we judge, blame, or try to figure things out, we leave our natural
state of grace. That is when we experience alienation, separation, and conflict. We begin to resist life
and push our experience away. We say, "Oh, that's too scary. I can't accept that." We struggle, we
swim upstream, we move against the flow of life. That is the psychological world of suffering. It is
self-created. On the other hand, when we learn to surrender to the truth of our being, we stop resisting
life. We begin to move with the current. We cooperate with life as it unfolds around us. Jack: So it's
really about alignment? Paul: Yes, it's about an inner alignment with our essence, which is at peace,
so that when fear comes up, fear rests in that peace. It is held compassionately. The Christ Mind
teaching asks us to develop that compassion for the whole psycho-emotional web of our experience:
to hold our fears, desires, judgments, doubts, and expectations in a gentle, loving way. That way we
can experience them without letting them run us. They are the wave passing under us. We feel the
effect of the wave as we ride it out, but we aren't engulfed by it. There is a mantra that I give people
that serves as a kind of life raft when we are floundering around on the sea of emotion. We simply ask
ourselves, "Am I loving myself right now?" If we say "yes" then we have a confirmation that we are in
touch with our essence. If we say "no," then we are reminded that we need to hold ourselves in a more
compassionate, forgiving way. Then, we can re-establish our connection to our center, and we won't
project our pain onto someone else. This is what we do in what I call the Affinity Process, which
helps us learn how to take responsibility for the content of our own consciousness rather than trying to
make somebody else responsible for how we think, what we feel, or what we experience. I have a new
book coming out in April called Living in the Heart: The Affinity Process and the Path of Unconditional
Love and Acceptance. It will help people learn the process in depth and be able to facilitate groups.
Jack: Can you describe the Affinity Process and tell us your vision of how it can help people? Paul:
The Affinity Process is the spiritual practice associated with Christ Mind work. A group of eight to ten
people gets together on a weekly basis and practices a set of guidelines that help them take
responsibility for their experience. Participants learn to withdraw their projections from others, and how
to tell others what they are thinking and feeling in a non-blaming way. People learn to be honest with
themselves and others on a much deeper level than they have been in the past. The skills participants
learn from the process can be directly applied in their relationships at home and at work. The Affinity
Process is open to anyone who is willing to practice the guidelines. It requires an eight- to ten-week
commitment. I suggest that people who resonate with the teachings in my books and workshops join
an Affinity Group as a next step to anchor in these awarenesses. We have groups all over the
country. We are planning a yearly retreat that will bring participants together from all over the world.
The Process is beginning to be extended to hospitals, prisons, schools, wherever people need a safe
space to open their hearts and move through their fears. We don't charge for Affinity Groups because
we want everybody to have access to this practice, regardless of ability to pay, but we do ask people
to give back to the Process by offering it to others on a voluntary basis. That way the process extends
without the exchange of money. Jack: I think that is important! By the way, I was talking the other
day with a fellow who's involved in the Episcopal Church. He asked me, "What can we do to have a
kind of spiritual revival in the church?" Paul: He could bring the Affinity Process into the church. That
would give people a chance to share intimately in small groups. They would experience what it means
to give and receive unconditional love, and they would be empowered to lift their voices up and
participate in the church instead of just waiting for the minister to lead the way. Affinity Groups are
the building blocks of egalitarian spiritual communities. They foster the full participation of their
members. They are non-hierarchical, non-patriarchal, and non-authoritarian. Everyone is an equal.
Everybody's experience is respected. No one tries to prescribe or preach to anyone else. That creates
safety, mutual tolerance, and respect and, in turn, lays the foundations on which a loving,
compassionate community can be built. Jack: It's a collaborative experience, is it not? Paul: Yes.
When we see other people modeling for us what it's like to move from fear to love, we learn
experientially. Our spirituality is not just words on a page. It's a living, moving, breathing reality. New
paradigm churches, synagogues, and temples empower people to share their experience, and the
Affinity Group is a model for that kind of honest, respectful, non-blaming sharing. In the new paradigm
spiritual community, everybody's experience is honored and respected. People are not asked to
conform to some authoritarian dogma. They are asked to be true to themselves. In return, they are
asked to respect the experience of others, even when it is different from their own. One of the
revelations of the Affinity Process is that love is not based on agreement. When we insist that others
agree with us to gain our approval, we are loving conditionally. In the Affinity Group, we learn to love
and accept each other without conditions, even when we disagree or have very different experiences.
The Process gives us the tools we need to experience peace not only within ourselves, but also in our
world. Spiritual communities that practice the Affinity Process or its equivalent will play an important
role in helping our planet heal and achieve its full potential. These communities create a culture in
which people can learn from their mistakes, forgive themselves, and grow psychologically. Our
government institutions probably aren't going to create that culture for us. Our schools and prisons and
hospitals aren't creating it. So who is going to create it? I think our churches, synagogues, and
temples have a real opportunity to take the lead here. So many people are alienated from organized
religions because their dogmatic teachings are controlling and out of date. In attempting to revitalize
and attract new members, these institutions can recreate themselves as havens of support and safety
for people. They can establish an experiential culture of love and forgiveness that empowers people to
achieve their full potential. They can be places where love dwells and fear is held with compassion.
Jack: In closing, what advice you would give to people who want to open up to the Christ
consciousness inside themselves? Paul: I would suggest that they ask themselves, "Who is the
savior? Who is the one who holds the wounded child with love and compassion? It's not somebody
outside of you. It is the essence of who you are. Just by recognizing that, you come into relationship
with the Christ consciousness within you. You enter into a covenant with the spirit of God within
yourself, and in so doing, you become the savior, the bringer of love in your sadness and your fear. .
To order Paul's books or get on his mailing list, call 1-888-HARTWAY or write P.O. Box 181, S.
Deerfield, MA 01373. For information about local Affinity Groups or the above events, call (206)
527-0908
Love without condition-
Author's Preface (to Love Without Conditions)
With all the fanfare about channeling, it seems important to be clear
that
this is not a channeled book. The information in this book does not
come
from some "entity" or personality apart from the mind of the
listener.
Indeed, this book is the result of one listener's joining with the
Christ
Mind, of which he and you are essential parts.
To think of Jesus as being outside of and independent of your mind is
to
miss the point. For it is in your mind that Jesus addresses you. He
is your
most intimate friend speaking to you, sometimes in words, often
beyond
words. Your communication and communion with him is essential to your
practice of his teaching.
Let us be clear that Jesus has no exclusive place or position in the
Christ Mind. Krishna, Buddha, Moses, Mohammed, Lao Tzu, and many
others are consciously joined with him there, or perhaps I should
more accurately say "here." If you feel more comfortable addressing
yourself as Buddha or
Krishna, please do so. Jesus will not be offended. Indeed, he will be
pleased, because you are following his teaching of non-separation.
We all commune and communicate with the Christ Mind (you can say
Buddha Mind or Brahman or Holy Spirit if you prefer). That is because
we are all joined with the Mind of God. If this were not true, our
experience would be totally dark and without even the promise of
redemption.
Each of us has a tiny spark of light that illuminates the darkness of
our
unconsciousness. This is the divine spark of awareness which keeps
our
connection with God alive. This spark also connects us to the divine
teacher in our tradition and to the divinity within our brothers and
sisters.
As Jesus points out in this book, were we to see only that spark of
light
within each one of us, all darkness in our perception and experience
would
dissolve, and the world as we know it would disappear. This is how
love is
established in our own heart and in the hearts of our brothers and
sisters.
Do not make the mistake of thinking that any reflection of the Christ
Mind
seeks anything other than the establishment of the kingdom of love in
our
minds and hearts. That is its single goal. Mahavir works for this.
St.
Francis works for this. The Baal Shem Tov works for this. Rumi works
for
this.
Division into religions are relics of this world. Such boundaries do
not
exist in the Christ Mind, where all beings join in a single goal. It
is hard for us to imagine this, but it is so.
There is no one brought up in the Judeo-Christian tradition who does
not
have to come to terms with the life and teachings of Jesus. This is
true for Christians and Jews alike. It is also true of atheists or
agnostics.
Jews need to understand and accept the transmission of faith Jesus
brought
to them. Christians need to understand how his teachings of love and
forgiveness have been inverted into teachings of fear and guilt.
Atheists
need to understand his revolutionary message of equality.
All who have rejected Jesus or placed him on a pedestal have
misunderstood
his teaching. That is why correction must take place for all of us.
To each one of us, Jesus has a specific message that will help us
dissolve our guilt and walk through our fear.
Jesus does not ask us to convert to Christianity, for there is no
such
thing. Christianity is a myth of separation. It divides the Christian
from
the Jew or the Muslim or the Buddhist. Do you think Jesus would
advocate
such an idea?
Of course not!
A follower of Jesus does not advocate any kind of separation. He
practices
love and forgiveness for all beings, including himself. He embraces
the Jew, the Muslim and the Hindu as his brother. He does not seek to
convert others, but rests secure in his own faith. Nor does he
believe that those who choose a different path will be denied
salvation. A true follower of Jesus knows that God has many ways of
bringing us home and never doubts the outcome.
Each of us has available to us a personal relationship with Jesus.
That
relationship comes into being simply as we begin to want it and trust
it.
There is no technology, no invocation, no esoteric spiritual practice
involved in it. The simple but authentic need for his friendship and
his
guidance is all that is required.
Let's be clear that Jesus does not wish to become an authority figure
for
us. Indeed, he stands against all authority save God's. He asks
merely that we take his hand as an equal, and that we reach out to
each one of our brothers and sisters with the same mutual respect and
intention of equality.
His teaching may be simple, but it will require all of our attention,
all of our energy, all of our commitment to put it into practice. To
intend to "be equal with" each person in our experience, and to
recognize and forgive all
mistakes as they happen is a revolutionary teaching. It is a teaching
that
will wash away our guilt and help us move through our fears.
When I began to work on this project, I brought to it the same degree
of
surrender which I had brought to previous books. That however, was
not
enough. In quiet recognition I put aside approximately 150 pages of
good
material. It simply wasn't the book that needed to be birthed at this
time
in my life. Something new was being asked of me. And I was asking
something new of my teacher.
I wanted a simple, lucid book that would help clarify our
relationship with Jesus and with his teaching. And as I asked, it
became clear that, to write such a book, something of Paul needed to
move aside. Paul's identity needed to be challenged. His belief
systems, his vocabulary, needed to be loosened up. Ideas that made
him feel separate from others needed to be dynamited away. Unless
these things happened, the book could not come through.
During this process, I learned to rely more on my relationship with
Jesus
than on anything I had read by or about him. I also saw Jesus
diligently
working in the lives of many people who seemed to hold beliefs that
differed from my own.
Beliefs separate. Loving thoughts unite. "If you want to follow my
teaching, live it thought by thought. Bless your brother, even though
you don't agree with him." This had always been Jesus' teaching. Now,
he was just taking it into a wider arena.
Letting this book come from Jesus and the Christ Mind meant making an
adjustment in all areas of my life. It required not so much a change
in my
writing style or process, but a fundamental shift in my belief
systems.
Removing the "ideas that give rise to perceptions and feelings of
separation" had to become my daily spiritual practice.
I assure you that I have been anything but perfect in this practice.
But I
feel profoundly grateful for the practice and for this book, because
both
have helped me to take a very difficult step forward in my spiritual
growth.
It is my hope that this book will extend to you a simple but profound
practice of self-forgiveness and non-separation that will transform
your
life. This is the practice that Jesus perfected in his life here. And
it is the practice that he continues to advocate moment to moment as
we reach out and ask for his help in our lives.
Ultimately, the end of human suffering comes when we decide together
that we
have suffered enough. Each of us, in our own lives, Is beginning to
ask for a better way. Do you think that Jesus will abandon us now? Do
you think the little spark in your heart and mine will shrink and
grow dim, a casualty of our fear, our guilt, and our pain?
It cannot be so.
The love of Jesus, Krishna, Buddha, and all the ascended masters
surrounds
us in our single prayer. It gently nurtures the spark in our hearts,
helping us move more completely through our fear and shame. It brings
divine illumination to all the narrow beliefs and conditions of our
experience.
Because the light is within us, it cannot refuse to shine when we
call upon it. The light of Christ is within us all. Let us invoke it
together, in the name of love.
Paul Ferrini
Santa Fe, New Mexico
December, 1993
