The Reiki Cafe 

Namaste!

My stepson is a warm, loving, bright, inquisitive and artistic child. In many ways he surprises me about his intuitive understanding about God and the universe (his Dad and I think he may be an "Indigo child.") However, he does have some behavioral problems -- difficulty getting along with peers at times, acting out physically, emotionally and verbally in inappropriate ways, and does not respond to reward/punishment. He does go through periods of depression, which I think contribute to his acting out behavior. Lately he has been really difficult to deal with -- we are at our wits' end.

He knows I do Reiki and will ask for it if he is not feeling well. I'm curious if anyone has worked with children, given them Reiki for emotional problems and whether or not that has helped? We're doing everything else we can with behavior modification methods and talking to him about and acknowledging how he feels, but I suspect there is something emotional beneath it all that is causing him pain and we aren't able to reach it through our usual approaches. If I were to do Reiki on him, do you have any suggestions on how to approach it?

Thank you & blessings.

Otoharo!

The following is all I have picked up about these children. All children coming in do not have an ego. That is a blessing. They are quite active. Let them be in this respect. Ask them for input in everything. Pay attention to everything they say. Do not expect instant obedience. It takes time to process. Let them have this time.

You may already be doing all these things. Conflagration may have more input for you.

finality

Yes, we are trying to do all of these things (within reason; he demands/requires a lot of energy and attention!) He is used to being in a spiritual environment - both his Dad and I meditate and do chanting regularly, I do yoga and Reiki, of course. And we take him to church regularly. But I can tell he suffers emotionally (and I can really feel for him since I was like that as a child too) and I'm not sure how to reach him. He absolutely loves to be hugged by me -- he won't go to sleep at night until I've given him three full hugs, which is why I was thinking Reiki might be a nice way to connect with him emotionally and spiritually, since he seems to need and want the hands-on touch from me. What do you think?

Otoharo!

My experience with children and reiki is that they will tell you by their behavior when enough is enough.

finality

Namaste
I am doing distant Reiki on a clients son who is about 2 years old and having a difficult time getting through the "terrible twos" and the imminent approach of a new baby. His Mum requested it for him and she rang me the other day to say it was working really well for a few days but needs a top up.
She seems very happy with it.
Good luck with yours
love and light
Ally

Reikini,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- the age of the child may be an important factor - what is his age? How long has he lived with you? Are there other children in the home?

- behavioral issues are often quite complex

- consulting a reputable child pyschologist may be in order (if you have not already done so)

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

He is 8 and there are no other children. Counseling has been discussed but the decision is not up to me to make. To a certain degree, I think some of his behavior is just a part of who he is, but I do sense pain/anxiety beneath some of it.

reikini,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- how long has he lived with you and his father - or, how long have you been married to his father?

- do you and the boy's father agree that his behavior is becomeing problematic? Some basic underatanding about discipline, etc, in the home and your role in this is essential for the boy as well as yurself and the family unit

- and, sometimes kids take a while to adapt to 'new arrangements'

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Hi Reikini,

Is he anxious about something?

My eldest daughter's way of dealing with stress and anxiety is always to act up. She will never just come out and say how she is feeling, but I now recognise the 'signs' of anxiety as opposed to her just 'acting up' in general. I try and give her opportunities to talk through her anxieties with me through other activities, rather than confronting her directly when she is likely to close up or react aggressively.

Is there something that you could do together where you can just casually chat at the same time about anything that might be worrying him? You say that he is artistic, this could be a wonderful way for him to express his feelings too :)

I have given Reiki to my eldest daughter with her permission in the past. It made her sleepy and relaxed her, but as she has got older she only ever asks for it now if she feels unwell. If you do give him Reiki then I would suggest talking it through with him first and perhaps making it part of his bedtime routine. I would also make the sessions fairly short and be guided by his response to them.

I would also consider couselling as an option. We ended up seeing a child psycotherapist when our daughter was 6 because we just didn't know which way to turn anymore and it was incredibly beneficial both for her and us.

Gentle blessings
Helen

Thanks for all your responses.

Yes, I do believe he is anxious and acts out because he doesn't know how to deal with those feelings. Living in two homes has to be stressful for him, even though we generally try to reduce the craziness as much as possible. (My boyfriend and I try to make sure he has a fairly structured day.) He and I do have a bedtime ritual where he and I will spend a few minutes talking about whatever he wants to (with lots of hugs - he loves getting hugs from me) so maybe that is a good time for me to give him Reiki if he wants it. I have also beamed Reiki to him from the door of his bedroom once he's fallen asleep. Sometimes he does feel comfortable talking to me about issues, or things come out in other ways. I just try to be as attentive as possible and address things I am hearing privately with his father. I have to be careful because he is very sensitive to anything he perceives as being criticism of the arrangements or of his son's behavior.

I think I will try Reiki and see if it helps. As far as counseling goes, that is not my decision to make (I do think it is necessary, though.)