The Reiki Cafe 

Good morning all,
I need some advice please:
There is a Reiki 2 person who is experiencing anger & rejection from other practitioners who sense negativity from this person. There are issues related to inappropriateness of touch, inability to process information (confusion or blockage?), questions of an attached entity, etc. Some practitioners will not come to sessions that this person attends. Perhaps I am too inexperienced or naive, but I see a very lonely person reaching out for contact. There have been 2 times when I thought this person used poor judgement in what was said to me but dismissed that as ignorance or a misguided attempt to reach out. There was a time when I considered asking my RM to talk to the person re the way he was "relating" to me. I chose to think it thru first & I really could not detect any negative intent from this person. I do sense a needy person who is seeking close relationships but in an inappropriate way. This situation is threatening to temporarily, at least, break up a good group & has potential for a great deal of harm to multiple people. However, I cant reject or turn away from this person, convinced that there must be a way to reach him. I have been told that this has been attempted MANY times by many people including several Level 3s. Find myself thinking, if they couldnt help why do I think I should. My gut keeps telling me dont reject him, find a way to help. It feels like a moral issue to me & I am afraid that this is turning into a snowball scapegoat issue. People that I trust have experienced intense possession & chills, darkness leaping from this person to them & are wary of touching him. This is a complicated situation beyond my level of experience. In my heart I know he can be helped, I just dont know what to do...any suggestions?
Peace & love,
holobon

Dear Holobon,

You have to go with your gut feelings.

If you think you can help you probably can! Maybe your approach will be different to the others and will be able to resolve the situation.

In my view, the sensations of darkness and chills are probably his projection of the cold and darkness he is experiencing inside!

You must decide for yourself what to do but I commend you for not giving up on this person even though many have!

Good luck!

Lee

Hi Holobon,

It seems that you are a caring, warm-hearted person. At this point you want to heal everyone. This is not necessarily a bad thing to want to heal. It is why you are doing Reiki in the first place.

In reading your post, it seems that there are a number of issues here. You wanting to heal him, is the first one.
HIS issues, which cause inappropriate behavior/touching/verbage is another.

Simply because a person is getting their attunements in Reiki, does not mean that they want their life to change for the better, to become more spiritual... Some only use (reiki, healers, women, seekers, metaphysical people, etc.) for their own purposes.

Understand this. YOU cannot heal him. HE has to want to be healed. By continuing with the same inappropriate, unacceptable behavior, he is making his own decision. He already knows his behavior is inappropriate. He is making his choice to change/not change. YOU cannot make him change. By wearing rose-colored glasses, and thinking only the best about people, will only get you a lesson you might not need at this time. Giving him the benefit of the doubt regarding what he says to you, will get more of the same. YOU have to draw the line... YOU have to have boundaries... AND when he says something inappropriate, YOU have to tell him that and not feel guilty.

Women tend to give more power to a man in the group than to other women.... so keep that in mind.

What you can do is to remove yourself from becoming mired in the results of this group. That does not mean you physically remove yourself, but that your feelings are removed from the results. This person as well as the others have issues to work out. (maybe you do, too.) ;-))

By removing your 'feelings' (ego) from the outcome, that means that you can BE THERE for any of the people involved, and still be DETACHED from the outcome. I think that right now your ego is involved....

By aligning yourself with this person, you are setting yourself up to be 'used' in an unacceptable way. Unacceptable in so far as Reiki is concerned. Perhaps unacceptable where your family and health (physical/spiritual) is concerned, also...

Love and Light, Priestess

Holobon,

Namaste.

Yes, tough one.

It sounds as if your "group" is somewhat cohesive?

What I will suggest has a tinge of subterfuge to it but the Intent is to try and keep this person in the group - if that is the group's true desire. :-}}

If there are any "elders" in the group, perhaps one of them will suggest a "group cleansing" activity as a "change of pace". Perhaps some smudge, rattles and drumming to honor the shaman in each of us and to clear your space and yourselves.

One or more people can do a little research and "education" about the methods to be used, present this at gathering and then one or more can take the lead in conducting the ritual.

If this is agreed upon be sure to include the "person in question".

Then assess the effects - especially if there are those with eyes for entitites.

If he does not attend then I think a group executive decision is necessary - sometimes excising the "unhappiness" is the best way for "the majority".

But no one person should be "held responsible" for excluding him.

Hope this helps,

reiki all around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Dear Lee,
Thank you for the vote of confidence, wish I felt the same way...
peace & love,
holobon

Priestess,
I appreciate your input & I will try to put down the rose colored glasses for a moment or two....although I agree, basically, with what you have said, I hope that my reactions are not just ego based. Actually, healing him was not what I had in mind...that is his job & Im not ready to take that one on. I have no belief in trying to "make" him or anyone else change. My thoughts were more in the vein of: have we overlooked anything here? Are we seeing clearly? Is there another option? If it is possible that there is an attached external negativity, is there a way that we can help? Thats all, I just wasnt ready to join the posse yet. I guess I hope that if I am in trouble that there will be at least one person who will try to reach me..because that is what I wish for myself, I could give no less. But I will take your input to heart & reflect on it. Thank you, Priestess.
peace & love,
holobon

Firekeeper,

I like the idea of a group cleansing & will broach that subject. Sage & anything else??? Sweetgrass? Even if it does not help the individual, perhaps this would help the group as a whole....thank you.

Peace & love,
holobon

Hiya Hoblon

This is such a shame...and I suspect occurs often in established groups. Who ever first said they feel an entity attached to this person put the thoughts into the others :( If the others have a high belief in this first person who stated the negatvity they will feel the same wether its the case or not..unless like you they take everyone as they personally find them and come to their own conclusions..

I think to be very direct about the ianppropiate touches as they occur would probably stop the them! Embarrising yes but better in the long run...bad feelings are being created and this maybe be the negativity people are feeling around him??

I agree that he can be helped...maybe you are the one to do it...I honestly feel that a group discussion including the person (not behind his back) which will need a great amount of sensitivity so he does not feel attacked would be the best way. Maybe he is unaware that his behaviour is offending people.. Problems are better faced than walked away from ...if we stay we grow..if we leave the same old lessons reoccur further down our paths..

If the meeting doesnt change things at least the air is clear and no one is left in the dark wondering what they did wrong and youre original group remains intact :)

I have had reiki treatments I havent liked from some people but I let them continue (and had treatments from them again) and just ask my guides to act as a filter..still not pleasant but at least I feel safe..Allthough I would stop any inappropiate touching..Im polite but I have limits ;)

Hope that helps and its only from my perspective..Im often told Im too soft..so take from it what you will :)
Love & peace
Sky

Sky,
Thank you for your sharing your perspective, it is close to my own. Confidentiality prevents me from being more specific with information with my posts. There are factors that tend to shade or cloud the issues. Since it is beyond me, I will take it to prayer. I like the idea of the group discussion, although at this point I think some emotions are too out of control. Perhaps bringing it to prayer, meditation & Reiki will work it out.
Guess I do tend to look for the silver lining in each cloud.....I dont care anymore if others think me naive or soft...I prefer to be that way rather than hard. Ive been there before & it wasnt me. I find that being open leads me further in spirit & in self growth. I do invite other opinions because we all tend to look at the world from our own narrow perspective. Sometimes I need to be shaken up.
There was a time in my life when I reached out to someone who did not hear...if that person had listened & not turned away my life would have been completely different. I have not forgotten that. (there is no blame meant here, the decisions that brought me to that road were mine, but at a pivotal moment when I chose to change that decision, it was too late because this one person who could stop the snowball did not help) There are many opportunities afforded us to help others who are unable to help themselves. I do not want to turn away...dont want to shoulder everyone elses burdens either....its a tightrope walk, I guess. Will have to rely on God to lead me in this situation.

holobon,

Namaste.

No, sage is quite enough. White sage, preferrably. If someone has an eagle or hawk feather to use to "spread the smudge" :-}}, so much the better.

If you do, start at the head, smudge all around to the feet - lift the feet - then back up to the crown.

It is also a wonderfully bonding ritual.

reiki all around,

all blessings,

firekeeper

Hello beautiful sky!! *Hugs you tight, letting the love in her heart fill yours*
I am so glad that you posted! I was reading these posts and I have a true affinity
for fear and things of lower vibration. I did not Feel this in any of the posts.
But I loved Firekeepers suggestion of a group cleansing. that sounded awesome to
me!
The idea of thought transferance sounds exactly correct in this situation. When you
work with spirit, you have to learn to trust. When there is a new energy present,this
can sometimes cause concern. This person is needy. He may send out talons of need
from his solar plexus area and "Hook" you in his personal turmoil. This Most assuredy
Does not make him bad or evil.. Bless Him.. *Hugs His Spirit Close to Her heart *
He is merely reaching out for an anchor. We all do this. Some of us have no foundation
to stand on so we look to another for support. I am not saying to allow yourself to
become engulfed. But in giving him some tools for support he may learn to strengthen
himself.
You will know as time passes whether or not you can assit this person in healing.
But be thankful honey. This guy has already Given You "His Gift". See it for what it is,
and bless it and Re-Member what that lesson was.
I love you all so,
Susan

Firekeeper,

Good to know the technique to smudge someone else, have only done myself (with white sage). Could use a turkey feather, no hawk or eagle available to me.....sounds like a wonderful idea for the group & will pass it on....you are a deep well of information..or is that a bottomless pit? (chuckle...grin..only teasing !!)

Peace, love & joy,
holobon

Susan,
Your post is full of love and understanding, tolerance.
My heart heard your message and my spirit is comforted.

peace & love,
holobon

I had a unique experience after my 1st attunement. I had a dream from which I awoke because one of my dogs was "shaking" me awake. I ws yelling as I woke up - because someone from my Reiki group was "in the room" with me, trying to "attach" something to me. None of this was happening physically, but I was very alarmed by the whole thing, especially since I know this person practices "magic".

Now, I have a few pagan friends - this is not a problem for me! But the individual who appeared in my dream does seem to have more a a desire to impose her own will on every situation, rather than ask for the highest good (my own personal philosophy, for good or ill).

Anyway, I talked to my RM who agreed that what I experienced was real enough and suggested 2 things: first, I wsa going through the first cleanse at this time, perhaps this person had been attaching inappropriately to me for some time and Reiki was helping me rectify this situation. Second, she reminded me that, however someone who is confused may be trying to use it, Reiki only works for the good.

I guess I'm saying that, while some common sense is in order and perhaps some extra "protection", I support your inclusiveness. Sometimes group think can get ugly, even with people who want to do "good"

Peace and Light!

Feiricio

Hi again Feiricio,

Welcome to the world of energy.....!!

The dream was certainly in regards to reality.

I am presuming that you may be a 'love' interest for the person you were dreaming of..... hhhhhuuuuuummmmmmmmmmm
But it actually does not matter the reason for the cording.

Some people DO think that they know what is best for everyone else, thus, the neglect of the practice of asking for permission.

It is really 'easy' to cut cords. If you want them removed, simply begin your meditation with the intent of removing them. Ask your reiki guides, and your own guides to attend. You may either visualize the cords being cut (with scissors, chainsaw, axe, etc, or simply disolving. Occasionally my guides get pretty playful and give me pictures regarding cords that are funny, but effective, and the person on the table will tell me later that she/he saw something similar!) However, the visualization is the intent.... It may take several times to remove them all, depending on how long this has been going on.

Also, Make it known to your guides, that your intent is that unless you desire cords between you and another person, no one is to be allowed near you in order to set them in you... Your dog in this instance protected you, in your most vulnerable state... *Give him a BIG reward for that....!* But if you make it know to your guides that you are understanding of this, you will have more control of your life.

You WILL notice an immediate response in the other person towards you. She will either be angry, or be sucking up to you to try to reestablish her hold. Create a wall/barrier between the two of you. You don't have to be angry, or put her out of your life, since she seems to be part of the group, but, you do need to not allow yourself to be 'corded'...

Reiki is energy. In the use of healing it is 'good' energy. In actuality, it is energy that will increase WHATEVER is going on in a person's life. SOO, if you have an issue, or two that need clearing, and all of us do, ;o) it will bring it to the forefront to such a degree that you have no choice in doing some self-analysis or clearing, or accepting of the situation instead of hiding from it. Thus the emotional clearing that some of us go thru..(sometimes for YEARS!)

As the blocks become cleared, you will become more intuitive, see more truth in what is going on around you. For YOU and for others... You may also see/feel/hear energy, spirits, have a 'knowing' happen occasionally....All good stuff!!

You are family.

Love and Light Priestess

Feiricio,
Wow, I wish my dog had that intuitiveness, she'd probaby only bark if food materialized !!
I agree, am wary of group think, have seen people hurt when it wasnt necessary. Thanks for your suppoet.

Peace & love,
holobon

Priestess,

Am interested in this "cording" - is this a symbolic representation or an actual cord attachment? Have never read of this but experienced it during a Reiki treatment during an attempt to release issues....can not see the end of the cord, so obviously have deep seated issues to address, tried attaching the cord to an arrow & shooting out an open door but it just kept flying, no end to it...

peace
and love,
holobon

Holobon,

Namaste,

Cords are actual things. I 'see' them as similar to 'spaghetti strings' of energy from one person to the other. Of course, they stretch, grow thick from use, grow thin from disuse, attach from any of the chakras to the other person's chakra. There are temporary cords with people you just met, there are heavy-duty cords (in both senses of the word) with parents, siblings, lovers, children, etc. In some instances they are inappropriate, uncomfortable, and in need of removing. Sexual cords, (between lovers) have a 7-year life span... Unless cut.
(removed)

When removing cords, understand that some of them will not release or be cut. My guides have told me that if it is part of your lesson for this life, (karma), it will not go away.... If it is a cord that YOU do not in actuality want removed, (getting some benefit from it) it will not go away. To my knowledge, those are the only two exceptions.

When cords are removed, the only cords that are being removed are those that have energy that is something other than love. For example, dependency, anger, jealousy, greed, etc. on either or both sides...
Love always remains. It is a very strange feeling at first to use this technique. When old actions are coming up, and you feel oddly disconnected from it, you may wonder what is 'missing'. What is 'missing' is the pain you had when previously connected to this issue. What is left is peace.
In actuality it is entirely possible, and necessary, to love someone without being attached to them. SO if they are walking next to you, holding your hand, OR on the opposite side of the world with someone else, it is the same. Your heart, but not your emotions are there with them.

When cords are removed it can be painful for the other person who is not in healing. For you it is a release..and peace. The other person may just not understand why it is now 'different' between you and may try to reestablish the cord. (or hook) Thus the need for a bit of protection/wall. The best case senario is when both people are in healing, and work on the cord issue together....

Hope this helps a bit,

Love and Light, Priestess

Priestess,
Wow, everything I wanted to know about cords & was afraid to ask.....:)
Your answer was extremely thorough, as always. The comment about cords between lovers kind of blew me away..I saw much truth in it.
Youe wisdom & experience is much appreciated.

peace & love,
holobon

Holobon,

When it comes to energy work, I do tend to go on.....and on.... :oD

Hope I did not overwhelm you with all this, actually,this is only a small piece of energy work... (see what you are letting yourself in for?) :-}

Blessings, Louise

Sky welcomes susans hug....takes it multiplys it by 50 and wham Hugs susan back with as much love as you can possibly imagine :)))

Priestess,
No, you did not overwhelm me at all..I prefer to receive as much information as possible when learning a new concept/idea. There goes the left brain again....
luckily, I have not been blessed with more than I can handle at the present (I think, I hope...)Still the initiate......
:0 :) !!!!

Peace & love,
holobon

Holobon,

Namaste

Actually, that was not something that I was worried about!!
You sound like a lady that pretty much has it all together.
:o)

Barbara Brennan talks about this subject quite extensively in 'Hands of Light' and 'Light Emerging'. You can get a very good kick-start on cords, energy clearing, etc. from her books. She is not the only one, of course, but you pick up stuff from everyone, and then use what works for you.

Energies on the earth are changing rapidly right now, the old energies no longer work as they did. We are in a beautiful place where we can co-create with spirit! We can travel to see someone in an instant...by manifesting ourselves into that space.... We can heal/attune, or receive healing and attunement at a distance, because with these new energies, distance is not a problem.... We have to be careful what we think, because there is nothing any longer that may remain a secret... What we think we are will manifest into our lives with an astounding speed.

Here I go again.... Blessings to you and yours.

You are family,

Priestess

Oh Priestess,

I learn so much from you & appreciate all your input(even some I may not want to hear, but may need to hear)....I read every word ....please dont stop responding from your heart or your experience, we newbies need it !!!

Peace & love,
holobon

holobon,

namaste.

Ben Franklin would be pleased with your "choice" of feather for the smudging.

He was a closet pagan, you know.

bagl.

reiki all around,

all blessings,

firekeeper