The Reiki Cafe 

I've developed a resistance to self reiki. A block against getting better. Going through the hard stuff.
Its like I don't want to get better.
I feel safe in the place of my misery.
Sometimes I feel ok, others no.
I'd a sweat on the weekend. The shaman/facilitator said I'd a block.
And fog.
Such is my resistance, I don't see it. I think. I'm aware somethings there, peripherally.
I don't want to do reiki or get a healing because I'm afraid of what may come up, and in the short term anyhow, not being able to cope. To fall apart.
I don't feel particularly strong at the moment, though I do feel a strength. Paradoxically.
Its all weird.

Thank you for sharing this, jaguar. It helps all of us. How do you feel when you do Reiki for someone else?

jaguar,

Hi,

All I can say is that developing in a direction one would like or where one has some sense it is a path to reducing one's suffering takes work and courage (a little wisdom thrown in can't hurt either). And, 'stuff' does not always explode on us when we move out of habitual patterns that have mostly been associated with suffering. Too, not all blocks are as they seem. Our own 'irrational' thoughts, those that keep us feeling anxious or of low self esteem andsoforth, may well be part and parcel of these nebulous blocks to which many refer.

Therefore, we are the primary source of our own deliverance from suffering. Living fearlessly and lovingly today, even if only a tiny bit more than one did yesterday, will manifest greater contentment over the longer haul (and sometimes even in the shorter term).

Cheers (seeing anything at all in the fog is an achievement not to be minimized)

:)

RC

Good words, RC...very well said. Thank you.

What came during meditation late last night, jaguar...if it should have any connection....."a mutiny of what we know". Keeping you close and safe, sweet friend.

Thanks so much for your insites -- I, for one, have really been helped by them; Keep on keeping on, as will I
bhe

I had a distance healing from a friend. He gave me some feedback afterwards that I'm on the right path. I do feel a bit clearer today.

Thank you all for your kind words. I'm actually blushing.

I'm taking it one day at a time though. When or whatever 'feeling' I get at any given moment, I'm hoping to give it some time. To ask it what it wants to say.
Maybe I'll learn something.

Blessed be.

jaguar,

Hi,

I guess that relying on others to say\confirm whether I am on the right path or not is, to me, rather alien and somehow contradictory to the notion of personal insight and growth. But, perhaps that is just me.

Cheers (I accept the risk that I may at times lead myself down the garden path),

:))

RC

Rc,

Hi.

I think it's really a matter of trust. There was more in the reading than I mentioned, but i'm keeping that part seperate.

The man is insightful. He just told me what he felt. I have the feeling that its really up to me. A little encouragement at the right time pays dividends.

The right path, to me, is where I'm at at the moment. Not which direction.

Its a combination of stillness and movement.
Awareness would be another word.

Its a scary thing to put ones trust in someone else. Not for what they give you, but for just being there.

I trust in his existence. I'm comforted by that. There is no attachment.

At least I hope not, but I'm only human.
My path at the moment is self discovery.

Hopefully a joyfull one.

Blessed be.

I hope we're not ever alone...to listen....to learn...to share....then we work within...still knowing that there isn't ever anything we're experiencing that hasn't been felt by so many others....all the way back to our ancestors. You're doing the hard work, jaguar and I appreciate that we are helped, too, in your words...and the words of others on this site.

Dear Jaguar,

It sucks feeling that way. The part about (importance of) realizing your state and condition I agree is huge and positive.

As far a the "block"..... do what you can muster to 'fake it till you make it. And realizing that the self healing aspect of Reiki is often the most difficult hill to climb.

For myself. anecdotally, I have found that when I am most resistant of self healing are those times when I need it the most. As you know the Mindful Reiki path is challenging thing. The 'best' get thrown off the horse from time to time.

I am glad for you sharing this as it reminds and steady's my experience.

Namaste,
Michael

Dear Michael,

I've had a few instances when I felt the 'flow', however, I'm sitting with the feeling most of the time.
'fake it, till I make it' sound advice.
Even if I don't 'feel' reiki, doesn't mean its not happening on some level.

wish you well with your own work,

Thanks for the support all.

Jaguar

It's tough to say I'm healthy when your feeling below the energy radar. It helped me to stroke my energy when I wake up with a picture of what makes me happy. So I can start my day with a smile. Cabin fever is about to break as we enter the last days of winter. With sun getting higher in the sky and the sunset getting later in the day just maybe the earth's energy will help motivate you to peel away the blockages

..sound advice..alot of us are in the Winter (depression) regions.