The Reiki Cafe 

Otoharo!

The recent thread talking about people's energy being left in places has brought out our so called natural judgmental feelings. We think this is natural. But in the natural world, there is no judgment.

It took me some years to learn non-judgment. Even now judgment rears its head every once in a while.

Why is this important? We grew up believing that God was judging us all the time!

The reality is that the Holy has no judgment. There simply is no judgment in the natural world, nor any world except where we live.

We can live by our own principals. that is not placing judgment on others who do not live by our principals. Even those who live by no principals.

So how do we describe other people's behavior that does not set well with us? That is the hard one. Takes thought. takes forgiveness. At least a live and let live attitude.

Recently, a person moved in here who gardens. She went out of her way to attempt to become friends with me, and I looked askance at her. It was weeks before I realized, I was judgmental. The air between us never cleared until I noticed suddenly that she had dyed her hair and it looked really nice. I said so. Her response hit me in the place where my judgment came from. It all fell away. I see her very differently now.

How simple. And how hard.

finality

finality,
I agree 110% with what you say. The only problem is that as a society or even species, we seem in general to be unable to accept that we do not have the right to judge according to our individual mores. The Renaissance philosopher Michel de Montaigne, in his essay, On Cannibals, made the point quite forcibly that they operated on a different belief system to the contemporary Western world and that the West could not judge them on it's own beliefs, it had to take theirs into account.
As we are far from perfect beings, all we can do is try to remember that it is not down to us to judge others and to live by that precept if we can.
As you rightly say, there is no judgement in the natural world and because of our "civilized" way of life, we are becoming increasingly out of touch with that world. How many among us can say that they give thanks for each day or feel their spirits lifted by the beauty of a flower or the song of a bird,the feel of the wind or rain on their face?
Connection with the Earth, our Mother, certainly makes us appreciate life in all it's diversity and, more importantly, that everything has a place. Perhaps we should also heed the words of a poem I learned in the dim and distant past:-
"A poor World this if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare"
Blessed Be.

Dear Finality,
What a good practice, to see the judgement in the way we respond to others & to ourself!
If there really is such an entity as a nonjudgemental person, I have not been fortunate enough to meet one. In my experience, it's more a matter of the degree, how judgemental are we? And there is generally more going on beneath the surface than we realize.
I read an account by a Buddhist concerning the way others perceived her meditation. She admitted to not being as devoted to it as others perceived her to be. But the others were convinced that she was an adept meditator and looked to her for guidance. So, they found themselves as wanting when compared to her "example". They judged her by what they saw & the conclusions they drew.
I will admit to judging cannibals & make no excuse for it, especially if Im trying to escape the poison dart & cauldron!! But the point is well taken that one has to understand the system of beliefs & the culture that guide people in order to understand why they behave the way they do. I believe that is why there are police & FBI "profilers" in this culture.
Judgemental people are often "out there" with their beliefs, maybe others are just not as obvious.

peace & joy,
holobon

holobon,
If your mind is not taken up with judging them, you should be able to concentrate your powers and run faster!!
Blessed Be,
Brian

Dear Finality,

Thank you for your post...it hits close to home for me right now as I have been coming to terms with the fact that, while I strive to not be judgemental, I have been having issues judging a friend's actions. After much painful soul-searching I have come to realize that it is surely not up to me to judge another's actions based on what I would do. Or more to the point in this situation...based on what this person would have done in the past (for they have now changed a great deal and become someone I don't know very well).

So, to step out of judgement I have come to the conclusion that I must separate myself from this situation. I may have no right to judge, but I also to not have to ally myself with those who act so contrary to what I believe is right. Does this make me still judgemental? Perhaps it does. And so I continue learning...

Lesley

Dear Lesley,

You make a good point. I believe we have to choose our companions with care however as the saying goes, "Evil exists when good people do nothing." If someone is doing something we don't agree with, and it causes uncomfortable feelings then there is the experience with the hard reality of, do I tell this person etc. first about it before cutting them out of our lives as maybe they are not aware.
So again we have to choose our associations with wisdom and that requires divine judgement to begin with in my opinion.

blessings,

Prosperity

Otoharo!

After reading all the foregoing messages, I want to add this. I enjoy being in a person's presence without talking. They share all they want to share and I listen or not. Then I share what I want to share with them regardless of whether what I say has anything to do with their forgoing conversation. Therefore, I feel no compunction to say anything. They get used to me being quiet. Then when I am on a roll, they let me have at it generally without comment also. This is great fun to me.

finality

Finality,

I liked your post a lot, gave me much to think about.

I would like to add that judgement is an intrinsic part of human nature, afterall for a human being to survive it is sometimes necessary to use our judgement to avoid danger. Perhaps that is why it is so difficult to not judge.

I have struggled with how to deal with behaviour that I am not comfortable with and I have chosen to walk away and distance myself. However that doesn't change the fact that I have sat in judgement of the behaviour and walked away from it, rather than accepting it. It is indeed a difficult one to address.

Gentle Blessings
Helen

Dear Helen,

You have summed up my recent dilemna quite nicely. Perhaps discernment is a better word than judgement in some instances? It is, as you say, a part of human instinct to survey a situation and determine if it is danderous. Similarly we can decide to walk away from a situation that we are not comfortable in. Perhaps judgement is attached to that decision but at least we are not actively acting on that judgement to the detriment of the other people involved (such as we we would if we verbalized our judgements or acted on them).

Lesley

Otoharo!

Helen, you bring up some very good points. There is a difference between judgment and discernment. There is also difference between judgment and discription. Describing what we observe does not imply judging. And discernment, the same. I choose to do what I choose. That does not infer that I have judged the path I did not choose. I can choose to do differently. That is not judgment either.

Judgment is not intrinsic to humanness. Because we are a part of nature and nature does not judge.

There are some words that are loaded with judgment. It helps to rid our vocabulary of these words. Good and bad are both judgments. Liking something is not a judgment. Preferring is not a judgment.

Right and wrong can be judgment. By right, how do we mean it? Wrong for what reason? etc. These can be descriptions only and not be judgments.

Beautiful and ugly.

Once we get the differnece in our bones, it can become second nature not to judge. We have an internal caution light that comes on.

finality