The Reiki Cafe 

Hi,

My family has a chemical inclination to become chemically addicted. My son's daughter who was raised in another state not by my son, nor was he allowed usual visitation is now on drugs. She's 15 and likes to drop in on us for a day or 2. She isn't going to school and I would like to just keep her but she always will go back with her other family who do drugs; violence; inappropriate sex. They are also fundamentalist Christians or play that hypocritical role. She seems to supply gossip to her family and they use her for that and they are like parasites off the system and get money for her yet neglect her and are not there for her. She floats here and there among her drug addicted older rapist cousins & uncles. (Not exaggerating)
I have sought help and reported her but she lives in a hick town with officials who are ignorant etc. Her grandfather has influence there. We have helped her as much as we can along with her mom who then proceeds to stab us in the back. With her visits we receive phone calls from her cousins, uncles, mom, grandparents who all of a sudden "care". Or it could just be nosyness. It's draining and I don't know if I want the drama any longer. Any suggestions?

peace,

Prosperity

Dear Prosperity,
Whatever agency in your state is charged with investigation of child abuse: if that is who you "reported" her to last time then go to the next person up the list in that chain of command & do not stop even if you have to go to the Governor. It is amazing with all the laws/agencies in this country focused on child abuse how these situations are ignored.
peace & joy,
holobon

Dear Prosperity,
So sorry to hear about your situation. Unfortunately, we all assume the the "law" is always there to help us and provide a sense of well-being for everyone, but that is not always how it really is.
Unless you are prepared for a very lengthly, and probably very ugly legal battle to gain custody of your granddaughter, this is what I have to offer you...
Continue to accept her into your home and show her all the love and compassion you can. Show her that life is not always about what her surroundings bring to her, show her that there are very loving, caring & "normal" people out here in our world. Maybe you could interest her in some sort of hobby like art or reading, which will give her something to look forward to upon arriving at your home. Continue to shower her with love constantly and hopefully this will help in her transition to adulthood. Perhaps buy her an Angel figurine and tell her that whenever she feels down or angry she should embrace her Angel, and that her Angel will hear her and spread it's wings around her, giving her a sense of hope and peace. I know of a book by Sylvia Browne entitled "Book of Angels". If you can interest her in reading, this book may also help her attain some kind of peace, knowing that our Angels are always around us and whatnot....
Hope this has been helpful. Do not give up hope.

~~~Peace~~~
Joanne

Otoharo!

Prosperity, I can feel for you in this. I worked the last five years of working in child protective service. That was in New Mexico, each state has such an agency, though not necessarily by the same name. They are able to help.

finality

Dear Holoban,

hi, thanks for your supportive thoughts. I will take what you say into consideration. It is true how these issues are ignored or in this case grossly trivialized. The dynamics are such to make it that way. She's been taught since she was 3 not to say anything bad about her family and haS been isolated with them. She did speak up to authorities and they had suspicions of course yet ultimately believed her perpetrator over her. That was over 10 years ago. It has been talked about and questioned some. I believe she may have forgotten about it.

blessings your way,

Prosperity

Dear Joanne,

Thank you and so true the law is not always so helpful for women and children and many assume the law will help. In some cases yes. Those cases seem to be sensationalized.
She told me over the phone that her cousin raped her younger cousin and now she wants to stay with her cousin to help her through it. It's like she's playing me to see if she'll get a reaction yet I know she's not making it up. I wonder if she's too wild for me to handle at this point as she also displays signs of borderline personality disorder. She's nice for a time and then wants clothes etc. for school and loves to shop; seems to only come around for that. Maybe that is normal for teens. She acts self-rightous to me. Maybe when she was young when I saw her I spoiled her but I have had to work with her and set boundries as she started showing signs of disrespect a few years ago and then complains about me; much like her mom has done.

blessings,

thanks again for your imput,

Prosperity

Dear Finality,

Thank you. Her other grandmother has temporary custody of her in another state. My granddaugher is here in town so how would it be handled as she's a teenager.

peace,

Prosperity

Dear Prosperity,
I tried to email you but unable to. Have watched a close friend go through a similiar situation in her family. It is heartbreaking to support a child through public disclosure of abuse only to have the perpetrator believed. The system failed them as it has others. The children involved who are now adults do not believe that the court system protects children. The person who tried to help is still sometimes accused by them (usually during a period of intense emotion) of not doing enough even though she jumped through all the legal hoops, went to court, etc.
There is no perfect solution & it is a very hard path to walk. I wish you clarity of thought, inspiration and strength in your decision.
Would she be open to Reiki treatments?
peace & love,
holobon

Dear Holoban,

Thank you for your understanding and show of support. It is much appreciated. She was raised fundamentalist Christian and has been brainwashed to believe I'm the devil as it is or a satanist so I doubt she would be open to reiki as she has made comments to me to the effect that what I do is strange. She loves for me to rub her feet
though. Thanks for asking as I may just ask her depending on how things or if relationship progresses. I am always open for it though.

blessings,

Prosperity

Prosperity, call the agency and talk to whoever answers the phone. There is an intake worker who can answer all your questions and help you get in for interviews. Adolescents are under this agency also. You need someone to help you and be an authority figure to help balance the energy for this troubled young one.

finality

Otoharo!

Holobon, obviously, what I was able to help clients with others may not have done so. It is heartbreaking to hear.

finality

Dear Finality,

Thanks. Am thinking of going to a psychic!! Oi vey! She's here as I type this. I will most likely call a DCFS worker after I gather my wits about me along with information so I sound somewhat intelligent. I appreciate the support. Would appreciate any reiki anyone would care to send. thanks, again.

peace,

Prosperity