The Reiki Cafe 

Hi,

My husband and I are facing a real dilemma with our 14 year old collie cross dog. Over the past year he has become increasingly more incontinent and now regularly loses control of his bladder. We have taken him to the vet, they carried out initial tests to the tune of £100 and ruled out the basics like diabetes etc. but they wanted to run further tests somewhere in the region of £400. The problem is we just don't have this kind of money to spend.

Our dilemma is that it is becoming increasingly hard to cope with,it is making our house smell(despite using bleach and disinfectant all the time) and is unhygenic with 3 children. He hates being left outside for longer than a couple of minutes, after which he barks constantly, so a kennel outside is not an option. I know the compassionate action is to carry on and put up with it until he dies naturally but we are seriously beginning to consider euthanasia as an option, but at the same time this makes me feel sad and extremely guilty because apart from this problem and being partially sighted, he still has a good quality of life. Karmically speaking I know that the compassionate action is to carry on until the natural end, but it's just that with dogs you cannot put incontinence pads on them :(

Any thoughts/advice would be much appreciated.

Gentle Blessings
Helen

Dear Rainbow,
My standard poodle is 11 & has been developing old age issues as well. The incontinence is very difficult to deal with. Bought a carpet cleaner at a discount store to keep up with it. The first time she had a bladder infection, then it was thyroid problems which is now controlled by medication. (Her incontinence has improved as the thyroid improved). She has cataracts & decreasing vision, cysts, etc. She is a barker if confined so a fenced area wont work. Sometimes I want to pull my hair out because it is a full time job and after awhile you just feel as if your house is constantly dirty no matter how much cleaning you do. Need new carpet but there is no point doing this while she is alive. So, I do understand where you are coming from.
There are some things that helped me : Establish a walking schedule & stick with it. Take dog out after any meal or excitement. Remove water bowl at night when you go to bed. When the dog urinates outside make a big deal of it, like they are the greatest thing on earth, they will try to make it outside just to get that reward. I admit I ordered doggie diapers when it was really bad but they are too expensive though you could make your own once you had the pants they fit in.
Have you tried beaming Reiki? When my dog allows it, it seems to help. I have also used Rescue Remedy ( Bach flower essence at healthfood store).
As for euthanasia, your dog would likely have died in the wild a long time ago. We extend their natural life with the care we give them as beloved pets. Hang in there as long as you can,do your best,love your dog & you will work it out.
peace & joy,
holobon

Hi Holobon,

Namaste :)

Thanks for your reply, I really appreciate it. Doggy diapers! I have not heard of those, I will check our local petsmart store and see if they sell them, even if he only wore one at night, it would be a start :)

Gentle Blessings
Helen

Helen,

Huge decisions to make for sure.

A long time ago when our female Great Dane began menses I figured out a way to help catch the flow. I used a man's pair of underwear briefs and put them on her with her tail coming out of the opening. I put a self stick sanitary pad where it would work the best. It worked out so well. You might try this with your dog and look for the super absorbency pads, even incontinence pads.
It's a sight to see for sure, but it do the intended job.
Take a measurement of the dog where the briefs would be and then go from there in finding the right waist size.

A good way to go would be to limit the dog to one room during the nightime. Make him a comfy bed maybe using a basket type with a nice cushy bed to sleep on and you could close off the door. If he has issues with being alone then use your bedroom and then close the door.
As Holobon said a good walking and some activity well before bedtime to tire him out so he will sleep the night through hopefully. You can leave an ice cube or two in a bowl so it will melt slowly and he will still have something to wet his whistle if needed.
If the vet has not yet done so have them check his thyroid as this causes many problems with getting enough water in and how it comes out. Have them do the regular test and the more advanced one to save time and money. I have a cat being treated for thyroid now and it has helped so very much. Senior animals do get these problems as even we humans do.

As much work as it takes and will continue to take do try to persevere as you have had this animal now for a long time and until you reach the point of no return it is a loving responsibility that many of us and you have taken on.

I know going to the vet is so very expensive and many cannot afford all of the testing etc. they always seem to want to do. Be assertive with your vet and you have the right to veto things you do not feel is necessary or wanted. Read up online about your animals problems and see what you can find out to help direct you with his professional care. In our case I found out the one blood test for the tyroid was not too definitive but the more expensive one is, so now that he has to go each month for bloodwork I veto the first test and tell them they may do the second one only and not both. I also vetoed the b/p check as they were charging $60 a pop! Craziness. They said they were using another doctors b/p machine when he was in there doing surgeries. I told them until they buy their own for their practice then my cat will not be getting a $60 b/p check monthly and I told them it's on their conscience as the professionals.

Be assertive and the best of luck.

Donna

Otoharo!

helen, I have read the above messages. This left me with a pondering on myself. If I should get to this point personally, I would not want to put anyone on the spot to take care of me. I would prefer to leave. Mentally ask your dog whether he is ready to go. He, too, might just prefer to go.

finality

Dear Helen,
When my dogs have gotten into old age and sickly I would give them aloe vera juice down their throats or in their water and it seemed to really help. Just put about 1/8 of a cup in a bendable cup and open their mouths and down the hatch. Some will spill out. I've done this with my cat too who lived an incredibly long time in good health. I only did this when they appeared sick and then they would improve and I only had to do this when they were sick not every day but you could do more often.
Also plenty of throw rugs are great and you can just throw them in the washer when they get soiled or throw them out and it's soft on their bodies too. They always have good sales on throw rugs. Sorry about your collie. Hope these tips help.
peace,
prosperity

Helen,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- yes, tough one.

- yet, without the full picture on the "cause" of the incontinence any decision is made from inside a certain amount of mist and fog

- if infection and diabetes are ruled out then another possibility in an older animal is a developing tumor of some sort

- often, I would say, these turn out to be inoperable, medically, and as you suggest perhaps also inoperable, finacially. Such surgery is quite expensive and there are no guarantees, of course.

- in cases the tumor is malignant (not all tumors are cancerous) the animal, if not already, will begin to suffer

- comapssionate action must be based on the "other" as much as humanly possible which will frequently make the decisions hard for us not to think of ourselves.

- euthanmasia by a qualified vet is, in my view, absolutely compassionate if suffereing has commenced and is inevitable.

- my feelings and thoughts are with you and your husband and children (we have had to euthanize several animal companions over the years and even where a known cancer is found and deemed untreatable the experience is never easy)

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

rainbow,
About12 years ago, my weimaraner bitch, Bella, was diagnosed with a cancer in her right shoulder. On the advice of our vet, we had the leg removed. She recovered amazingly well from the op but, about 3 months later, we found secondaries in her back leg and also on her liver and, we think, her brain. with our vet's help, we kept her going for a couple of weeks but in the end I had to take her to the vet to have her euthanased. The vet was reluctant because she had brought bella into the world, but I said "A....n, she's dying" and she agreed.I held her whilst the vet gave her the shot and felt her slip peacefully away.
Bella was my constant companion and went everywhere with me even when at work, so the decision was not taken lightly but I know it was the right one.If I had been a reiki practitioner at the time, I would have used reiki but I wasn't so all I could do was speak to her and let her know how much I loved her. Be strong, it will hurt like hell but you must act in your dog's best interests.
When the time comes, you will know.
Blessed Be

Hi Donna,

Many thanks for your reply.

I will bear your suggestions in mind and try them out. I just want to find a compromise, because ultimately I feel that I am letting him down. Somehow i just don't feel that it is time to let him go yet, otherwise I would not feel so guilty...

Gentle Blessings
Helen

Finality,

Namaste,

Many thanks for your reply.

I know what you mean, but I am not sure that my own emotions would get in the way and give me an unclear answer. I still think that if I knew for sure that this was the right path to follow, I would not be feeling that I am letting him down somehow.

Gentle Blessings
Helen

Prosperity,

Thanks for your suggestions, I will give them a go.

I am very grateful for all the helpful advice everyone has given, I think I just need to try out some more things before giving up, I owe him that.

Gentle Blessings
Helen

Firekeeper,

Namaste :)

Thanks for your reply and I'm very glad to see that you are okay, the news reports that we have been seeing here about the effects of the hurricaine on Louisiana have been very sad.

With regards to Jake our collie, intuitively I don't believe he is suffering at the moment (the vet agrees) he eats well, seems bright in himself, it is just his leaky bladder that is the problem, although that is not to say that this will not change over the next few weeks/months, in which case I agree then it would be the most compassionate course of action. I think this is why I am feeling guilty because he is not at 'deaths door' so to speak. It feels like we are just giving up on him because he has become harder to look after.

I am going to try some of the suggestions here and see how it goes for a while. I truly hope that I will instinctively know when the time has come from his point of view rather than ours :)

Gentle Blessings
Helen

Hi Celtic,

Thak you for your reply and for sharing your experience with Bella.

I think you have just summed it up for me when you said 'When the time comes, you will know.' I just am not 100% sure that the time is right yet from his point of view if that makes sense.

Gentle Blessings
Helen

Dear Helen,

So sorry. There are accupuncturists who work on animals so that may be worth a try as they couldn't be any more expensive than a vet visit I would think but I don't really know. I know that combined with reiki and maybe some vet medicine if needed your dog would love the attention and that in itself is therapeutic. Just a thought. Good luck. Your collie is lucky to have you.

Prosperity

helen,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- I am quite certain you will know

>:-}}

- yes, we are fine, most kind of you, and have taken in some refugees from Mississippi who are without power for maybe 4-7 days though no loss of property, etc (daughter, son-in-law, two grandkids)

- couldn't ask for better refugees, don't you think?

bagl

- in honor of their visit and the storm we have renamed margaritas: refugee juice

- they drove about 5 hours through storm damaged areas to get to our house and when they arrived they said they had thought about getting margarita mix on the way over

- well, as luck would have it, I had just mixed a pitcher about 30 minutes earlier

>:-}}}...

- take care

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Firekeeper,

Namaste :)

Ah yes those are definately the best kind of refugees to have :))

Refugee juice?!! bagl

Glad to hear all is well :)

Gentle Blessings
Helen

Helen,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- and we have the joy of a 4-week olde loudly demanding dinner at 4:00 AM

>:-}}}

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Firekeeper,

Namaste :)

Ah yes I remember those days only too well :))

I recommend earplugs then for nanny and grandad for the next few nights lol

Gentle Blessings
Helen

Helen,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- interesting juxtaposition: you consider diapers for the pooche and suggest earplugs for us (they did bring plenty of pampers)

bagl

- take care,

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Howdo F/K,
Never mind the earplugs, have a few wee drams - best sleeping medicine out.
Glad you are all OK and the family got out safely.
Blessed Be.

celticcapricorn,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- most kind; all family safe and sound (many others not so lucky)

- and, no ear plugs for me (or nappies)

bagl

- yes, nothing finer than a dram or two of Glenmorangie 12 year olde portwood finish, single malt

>:-}}...

- drams are great for me but will not help the wee one sleep (no jersey alexanders for her) - however a bit of reiki will

bagl

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Blessed Be!

Helen,
My heart goes out to you. I just want to say that I am sure you will "know" when the time has come, and your "gut" feeling is that it is not. In my experience, it is worth trying to see if there are creative ways to make life easier for you. Looks like alot of ideas have come up on this board. What a wonderful place! I can't help with concrete ideas, as I have not had an elderly dog myself, just ferrets and cats! I wonder if looking into homeopathy might help (you can do alot of this leg work on your own.....internet searches, etc. ). But, regardless, your collie will communicate with you and you will know and be at a sad but peaceful place in your heart when it is the time.
Blessings,
Feather

Thank you Feather, I really appreciate your reply.

Gentle Blessings
Helen

Dear Helen,
I'm very sorry to hear about your pet. I just went through an almost identical situation just one month ago. We had a collie for 14 years, the most faithful animal I've ever had. Over the last 6 months, he too had lost control over his bladder, as well as his ability to get up on his own. I would have to physically go to him and pick up his behind to help him up otherwise he could not rise. His right eye became 90% blind in a matter of just a few weeks and he would only eat his food if I laid it out in front of him with my hand. I know that I was keeping him around pretty much for our own need/desire as he had been with our family for so long. I had to make the very sad decision to have him put down. And I gotta say that was the worst experience I've had in a long time. I laid my head by his as he slowly fell asleep :( it was heartbreaking. Still makes me cry. However, I know that what I did for him was something that needed to be done as he was suffering terribly. Dogs unfortunately cannot tell us their pain, and I think also don't want us to know cuz they also know our love for them. This was the first time in my life I had to do that, but his health was deteriorating so fast right before my eyes. I imagined myself being unable to speak other than to try and communicate with my eyes to someone. He always had such a sad look in his eyes, but also had determination to try and please us. I can only tell you to really take a deep look into his eyes...see what they tell you. None of us want to admit that our pets have lived their lives in full cuz the life they have are just too short, but I would consider if the vet can actually "help", not only merely prolong his suffering... it's a very hard decision but I would truly consider the dogs suffering and also humiliation the animal feels. They don't like to let their "Moms & Dads" down....
I wish you much light and love in your decision, it is not an easy thing to deal with. But also make your decision based from your heart and love, not from your minds need to have him in your life.
Hope this has helped a little bit.

~~Peace~~
Joanne

Hi Joanne,

Thank you for sharing your experience with your beloved collie, I can understand your heartache and I do appreciate what you are saying.

Jake had a vestibular attack about a year ago (the effects look very similar to a stroke) which is the equivalent to vertigo in humans. I took him to the vet expecting to hear the worst, but he was treated with medication and within a couple of days was pretty much back to normal. But ever since his bladder has got more leaky and he is sometimes a little wobbly on his legs. I am monitoring him closely, but at the moment he still has enthusiasm for life and eats his dinner like a young pup, if you know what I mean :)

They are very faithful dogs aren't they? We got Jake from a rescue centre when he was 6 months old and I could never understand why someone would have abandoned him, he always has been such a lovely dog.

Anyway, thanks again for taking the time to share your story, I really appreciate it.

Gentle Blessings
Helen