The Reiki Cafe 

Otoharo!

Helen, I had such an experience in my childhood. I would heal the whole expeirence. Then years later, something would come up and I would heal the whole experience again.

Eventually, I came to realize that I could forgive the perpetrator, but could not change my feelings about him.

Years later, I realized there were no more feelings there about any of it.

That is why this world of ours has time. It takes time to accomplish many things.

There are those out of body, who seek to find any of us who will take what they have to heal so they do not have to reincarnate in order to do it in the physical realm. This physical realm is the place for healings.

finality

nats,

Hi,

Deep, personal healing can very easily exclude everyone else. Our Karma cannot be resolved by or with anyone else. Some take this as "selfish". That is semantics, of course. We talk about "tough love" but typically only when referring to our relationship with others.

Resolving Karma is often tough love for ourselves. That is the nature of the beast and there is nothing for it.

Cheers,

RC

Hi RC,

I absolutely agree with you. But sometimes ensuring justice is served can help us get to that deep place of healing. And perhaps even more importantly, prevent the same abuse happening to someone else.

I personally had 2 sexual abuse instances, once when 5, once when 16. I still regret not pursuing the justice option against the monster who abused me when I was 5. Amongst other reasons, I need to know he cannot do those things to other young kids. Unfortunately, there is no way to trace him now.
Also interesting was the response I had from my mother, when I finally told her, nearly 30 years later "...oh, that happens all the time..." and dismissed it.

But that is just me. Doesn't mean it's appropriate for everyone.

Cheers
Nats

nats,

Hi,

I agree entirely with the prevention issues and the fact that abuse is more frequent than most people realize or are willing to acknowledge. And, of course, sadly, not all abuse will be prevented.

Yet, back in the realms of personal healing (no one can do this for us and we cannot do it for anyone else) there are VERY important karmic distictions between wanting and seeking justice and exacting revenge.

Cheers,

RC

Dear Nats,
The heartbreaking part of what you have written is the response from your mother because THAT happens all the time.
The refusal to declare that this is not appropriate and that it is significant when it occurs is damaging to everyone concerned & their descendants.
On the other hand the truth is that fingers are sometimes pointed at the wrong people. Getting justice & getting to the truth are not so easy & the current wave toward public humiliation ( not restricted to this issue) that I see in this country scares me...I keep thinking of the book the Scarlet Letter...we seem to swing the pendulum to extremes and avoid the middle ground. Im aware of a situation with a friend in which years later there are now questions as to the truth of the charges from the child. Not denial, the child was always believed. There is information coming out now that raises questions. ( Im not suggesting that events are not valid here or anywhere else just that maybe things in this case were not as originally presented)
My heart goes out to all who have been abused & then become victims of a system that favors the rich or the influential. It shouldnt be about what lawyer has the best spin or how popular the abuser is.
A friend has taught me that dismissal of what happenned as well as the anger keep you locked into relationship with the abuser,conscious or unconscious, but getting beyond that is possible. It is not an easy road to walk and I wish the best for you on your path.

peace & joy,
holobon

hi nats,
this is such a hard issue to overcome, but overcome it you must, or it will eat away at you like a cancer.... so in MHO, let it go, deal with 'YOUR' feelings, get bloody angry about it all & believe that 'KARMA' will sort him out, (as it will!)
after all this time (& resurfacing as it has) maybe counseling would help, getting revenge won't...
maybe this man by now has a wife & family of his own, how would you feel?, & what good could come out of bringing it into the 'NOW'???
think hard, think long, & forgive HIS IGNORANCE!!& get on with you life..
luv to you, Wendy xxx

Finality,

Thank you, I appreciate your reply. Yes it does take time, but as that old saying goes 'time is a great healer'.

Gentle Blessings
Helen

Hi Nats,

Many thanks I really appreciate your reply.

For me personally prosecution is not something that I wish to pursue, way too much water under the bridge and too many innocent by standers who would also get hurt. I have made it known to both my parents this week how I still feel about the past and the way they handled it and still handle it now, although I have been able to do this from a position of love without the anger.

If there is one thing that I have come to realise since being involved with Reiki, it is that I can only ever be responsible for and change my own reaction, never other peoples :)

Wishing you peace and love.

Gentle Blessings
Helen

Dear Helen,
I would say then that this is a healing of sorts, yes?
This is a very bizarre world we live in, so much that makes no sense.... Every act of compassion, forgiveness and love benefits all of us.
Blessed by that reminder, I thank you.

peace & joy,
holobon

well done Helen,
you are through it now,
but good to have a good talk about things with friends here, & get it out eh! reiki never stops teaching us 'lessons' does it, it is a wonder to me when something awful happens we can end up seeing the lighter side,(positive side).
even if one stubs their toe on a table, one will curse! (well I would), but then I would think &, 'MOVE' the table!!! so it doesn't happen again!! I seem to learn something 'everyday', I think to 'listen' is the key!!!
anyway my dear onward, & forward we must all go....
luv to you, Wendy xxx