The Reiki Cafe 

Dear Friend,

I'm having a problem being compasion and acting compassionately, without feeding my Ego by thinking I'm a compassionate person.

How do I get out of this?

Best wishes,
Roxy

Ms. Roxy,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- practice, practice, practice

>:-}}}

- and, the more you can center yout Intentin and Mindfulness on the 'target' of your compaasionate action the less Ego-trapped you are lliely to become

- hope this helps

- btw, for the vast majority of us it takes lifetimes to "master" this

>:-})

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Hi,

I would say that even if it makes you feel good and feeds your ego, it is still better to consciously act compassionately than to not. Perhaps after a while it will become second nature and ego will not even come into it :)

Ego it seems is essentially part of our human nature and difficult to overcome for most of us.

Gentle Blessings
Helen

Otoharo!

You have said it if you can hear what you said. Being compassion has already by-passed ego. When one is in being, one is out of reach of ego. Ego is only in the intellect. Stay out of your head and ego can't reach you.

finality

Roxy,

The more you stay out of your head by thinking on this and the more you just come and act from your heart center then compassion and compassionate actions will just happen naturally.
I think it is more normal for us to feel compassionately on to others than to not. Do you allow compassion for yourself? A good place to begin.

Simply giving a smile to someone, a wave to a neighbor, asking to help someone you know who could use some help, giving Reiki to someone, volunteering for a good cause, any simple act of kindness/understanding is being compassionate.

Just come from your heart, walk the path of the heart, ask how would I want to be treated then let it come out in good deeds, good karma expecting not a thing in return.

It seems you are going through a very special time of spiritual stretching, be flexible, reach out for what is being offered to you, learn the lessons, apply them.
Imagine a cord coming from your heart and going out to the Universe to all people and all things.
This is love and compassion.

All blessings to you Roxy,
Donna

Dear Roxy,
Accept that there will be times when you will not feel compassionate, let the feeling come up when it does, recognize it & let it go. If the Dalai Lama who has trained his entire life to be compassionate can admit to feeling anger, how can we expect to always be compassionate? I wish I could remember exactly what he said but his comment suggested that if he had to work in a modern corporate office, he might experience the level of anger that we do in our society.
As has been said above, be compassionate with self. I have come to recognize that I am not truly compassionate but I do wish to be a compassionate being. When I can remember that, it is easier to act compassionately. Believing that I am compassionate & then witnessing the other side of the compassion coin rise up in me can fill me with despair. It is easier, for me, to accept that I am both sides of that coin & to once again choose to be compassionate after an episode of being less than compassionate. One step at a time is hard work, like chopping wood and I appear to be a slow learner. :)

peace & joy,
holobon

Hello lovely Roxy,
*hugs**
Boy your ego is having a field day with you!! The trap you have gotten yourself into is one of perfection. You ARE Compassion and Love. It is all you are.. The rest is illusion. You can just as quickly be who you really are as you can be these things of illusion you act as when you remember your Self as Source. You choose all your experiences.
When you lash out or you are less then kind, be gentle with yourself.
Remember always that compassion starts at home. You are not perfect in your personality. You are a human being trying your best.
A child does not learn by being shamed.
Remember when your parents scolded you and how you held onto that energy and repeated the behaviour? Thats becasue you identified with the pain and the shame that came from being scolded instead of looked and loved with compassion for your misstep.
Remember always that nothing is healed with shame or pain.
The worst thing we can do is continue the pattern with unkind words towards ourselves for being less than perfect..
Who's voice is that scolding anyway? It's surely not our Creator because she loves of uncondtionally.
So it must be our earthly parents, media, friends, teachers etc.... Let all that go.
Why follow the rules and regulations from those who would wound themselves with their missteps too??::}

Love is always the answer and the key.

I love you sis.. Please be gentle with that beautiful sweet angelic soul of yours. You/She deserves it.

Jahnavi

Hello lovely Helen,
Nice to see you around, not nearly as much as I'd like but I"ll take it. :}

As far as ego goes. Ego is not really such a bad thing. Ego does help us see when we have gotten off balance, because our actions begin to hurt us.n Thats when we need not chastise ourselves so much as just notice and say, hey, ok.. And then readjust our stance on whatever were focusing on to better balance ourselves. It doesn't take be hyper critcal.

It is not a bad thing to think good of oneself. Just to maintain the balance that says, "I'm an amazing person, wonderful person, Just like all of Spirits other children. How beautiful we all are".

Ego is made into a villin way too much. But is our ego that sets us in forward motion.
We have to care deeply about something. Thats part of our being able to choose what it is were most passionate about experiencing.
If there is not passion/energy, I wont go forward, I will not complete the task. I have to find something - whatever I'm choosing as most important in my life to find the answers to whatever i'm curious about.

I see people getting mired down in their thoughts and shame about feeling good about something, proud of an accomplishment and I think, "wow, ego is having a field day with them" and I think that because I know on some level the ego is afraid so it throws these fear based thoughts about being ashamed of being proud of something or liking something about oneself to get the person confused and in a circular motion to stop them from moving forward.

You might even stop what your enjoying because your ashamed of your gift or your accomplishment. Its ok to feel good about something positive. In truth, our thoughts are so filled with negative, we need these reminders to help us heal.

Why waste precious time being so consumed with guilt about feeling good or liking the fact that you have something wonderful in your life?
I think that if it really is consuming the thought process their is probably feelings of grief underneath that are saying that the person does not deserve it and it is not good to feel so alive and happy.

I think a good thing to do at that time then would be to sit in meditation and ask oneself why they feel so guilty about feeling happy or good about a good job done, good feeling etc...

We rob ourselves of joy so much. Joy and feeling good about ourselves are our natural state. To feel like were undeserving or were not supposed to feel it because it somehow violates the unspoken rule of "ego" is just another shadow of feelings of undeservidness being fully alive and to be children of Love that we are.

I have to laugh at myself because I am a serious person. I'm another one who takes it all too darn seriously.
I have some Lynn Andrew Power cards that I love alot but one card in particular I wouldn't let myself have though I drew it often. I even told myself I hated that card, it irritated me for some reason.
The card was of two aboriginenes walking and holding an umbrella.
The cards name was humor. I talks about us taking ourselves too seriously and not allowing our naturally joyousness take over our lives more fully.
A few days ago I was able to finally embrace that card.
And even this morning when I was shuffling my deck I was thinking hard of that card and darn if it didn't show up in the future aspect in my personal reading.

So, I say, laugh, enjoy and keep an eye on what it is Spirit is showing you. 99% of the time humor is used so we can learn to laugh at ourselves and dispell the heavy, negative energy were used to using on ourselves. Laughter and happines are definately the best medicine.

It so important that we don't get bogged down in this heavy energy. Its such a drag and is so useless for us on our most sacred paths.

Bright blessings and Laughter!

Jahanvi

Dear Roxy....

Thanks for this post. Great question. Great answers.

Compassion & Gratefulness.....24/7... for me maybe the next lifetime.

Thanks Holobon for the response about the coin. You have helped me tremendously. I am in a situation where I need to supplement my income by taking a bartending job. Thursday night this....(poor misguided soul.....OK I really think he is a sdfiosdofusf son of sdfhsldfji) ....turn the coin back to compassionate and this poor misguided soul. So Thursday, his choice of describing EVERY ethnic, sexual and racially different person would not fall under the category of a gentle soul. Oh yeah!! leering at my chest did't help either. To feel compassion for someone this ignorant is very difficult for me. To admit and accept that I am who I am and that I can flip that coin back again is very reassuring.

Thank you for your thoughts.

Bless you
Be

PS: I still want to punch him....BUT being totally non violent I will send him loving pink light instead..
not so much fun as a swift kick in the ......loving pink light ....loving pink light...

Hi Susan,

Good to see you my friend :) These days I tend to mostly observe the boards :))

I don't think ego is necessarily all bad, not if it motivates good. To be honest I have never really got to grips with the definition of ego as opposed to self esteem :)

As for taking life too seriously, yep I definately hold my hands up to that one. I struggle to be spontaneously joyful and find that quite sad. I agree that laughter is wonderfully healing :)

Hugs and Blessings
Helen

Dear Roxy,

Who is being compassionate? Who is describing being compassionate?

Love,
Ann

Thanks Finality,

At the time I posted this, I didn't realize I was doing that. I do now. Thank you so much for caring.

Love,
Roxy

Roxy,

Hi,

Try not to bog yourself down in over-intellectualizing about compassionate action. And also be wary of trying to stay too aloof from getting to know what it is to be compassionate. Sometimes fewer questions and more action will be the better teacher.

Cheers,

RC

Hello lovely Helen!
*hugs you warmly**
I just love you. Nice to see some things don't change to much in this big ole world.
I think ego is something were always going to struggle with- until we don't anymore. :}
Laughing at myself definately lightens the load though and that is something I'm trying to learn. Ego loves a non laugher too.. hehe..

Blessings Sistah!

Know you are thought of kindly on this side of the beach..

Jahnavi

don't try so hard, experience what your expreiening without over critisisien and let go. otherwise, go inside your egotrip and plast it with reiki.