The Reiki Cafe 

Hi Jaguar,

Sometimes we are forced to stand still and somehow take stock of everything in our lives. As frustrating as this can be, it can also be helpful in giving us time to adjust and work out what we need to do next in order to grow and develop :)

Part of the attraction to the married man could be the fact that he is 'unattainable' and therefore you are 'safe'

And I would say that a little chocolate is good for the soul :)

Gentle blessings
Helen

Otoharo!

Rainbow gave you really good advise here. I have been in standstills a number of times as I look back on my life. This gives you time to look at yourself, feel yourself, experience yourself. Chocolate is good at times like this. It might help you to talk with yourself, be frank about your feelings, doubts, longings. Yourself may give the answers very quickly.

finality

Jaguar,

Feeling stuck or at a standstill is really being in the meantime, where we are supposed to be. We cannot change the past and we don't know the future so the meantime is where we deal and heal and accept this is where we are supposed to be.

Our life's journey's have brought us to this point and the future journey will spring from this time, now.

Realize your gratitudes and blessings, deal with the negatives, then step forward when you are ready.

Donna

Dear Jaguar,
All of us experience times when we feel stuck, do not imagine that you are alone in this! People who we look to as accomplished usually have experienced a great deal of roadblocks & failures in their lives. The difference between them & us is that they do not blame themselves for these roadblocks and they keep going, they dont give up. That does not mean that they do not experience disappointment or hard conditions, they just dont define themselves by the bumps in the road. See a bump in the road, not a major roadblock!
Do not compare yourself to others for you can never know the hardships that they have endured unless you have walked in their shoes. Sometimes things look easier & better for others than ourselves when that is not the truth of the matter. Be easy with yourself, knowing that time will bring change. The expectation of "immediate gratification" has done much harm in our culture. Growth is a process that takes time. We proceed forward ( or sideways or backwards) but we are still on the path.
BE good to yourself. Drink lots of water, take walks in the sun, eat a healthy diet & take supplements. People may laugh at this simplistic response but some of the problems of modern culture are due to lack of connection with nature & the lack of nutrients in our crops. Focus on the positive in your life or make positives right where you are. ( do one good thing for someone else every day even if it is only smiling & being kind to someone else who is having a bad day). That is a step in the right direction.
Someone once said that sometimes you cant look up until you have hit rock bottom. Each time we hit a roadblock, it is an opportunity for growth. Whoa, it does not feel that way when you are in it! You are being prodded forward. But you must keep your mind & body occupied in looking to the light in you & everyone else. At some point you will find yourself turning around & extending a hand to another & you will wonder, when did that happen, when did I let go of the darkness & become the light?

peace & joy,
holobon

I was once told that we can change our life instantly if we choose to. Somehow we want to hang onto the past and can't understand why we are not enjoying the present. You have to let go of all the things that is causing you despair. Re married man - let him go he belongs to someone else and it will only cause you grief. There will be someone nice out there somewhere. I wrote a book to help people who seem to be stuck or at a standstill in their life. Talk things out with people don't let the thoughts just churn round in your head. Look after your health. Go out and meet new people.
I've had to do all those things and eventually I felt alive again.
You are important and unique... you deserve a happy life.
Only you can change it....

maybe you could choose to cut the chords with the married man before they get any stronger?? Try to feel how his wife would feel if things went further with you both and she found out. send her love and love yourself for your strength and integrity. walking away from this will leave space for someone who can love you openly and honestly.
Easy to say, hard to do, I know.
love and light
allycat

I once heard from a wise teacher that it is in the tension of the "standstill" that our soul reaches into the depth of wisdom. If we move on too quickly, we lose that depth.
Be with where you are in fullness.
Love,
Feather
P. S. Dark chocolate preferable.

All of what you said makes sense, in the sense that these thoughts crossed my mind. Thanks for reminding me. I feel at the mo that I am taking stock. I don't drink enough water. Sunshine? I hail from Ireland, and what they say about the weather is true. Very changeable, You might have 3 seasons in one hour, not just one day. thanks.

As to the married fella, It was just a passing thought or feeling. In the past If I felt as strongly about something, I was uncomfortable with, I'd squash it down, n try to forget it. thereby holding on to it and causing me untold grief. By chating in here, I'm 'talking' about stuff, getting it out of my system and it doesn't seem to be churning in chunks like it used to. By acknowledging my stuff it doesn't have as much power over me, (i hope) as it would if i'd be surpressing.
I feel good.
Cheers

erm. He don't know how i feel, and yckk! I suppose one reasons my feelings are so strong, and I lose my center with them is because up to six or seven year ago I surpressed my emotions to the extent that I nearly had the emotional stability of a shrub. By letting myself feel, sometimes they would bushwack me and I'd be overwhelmed. It's getting easier. Now I be and let be. I'm grateful for the chance to feel. He may not be married even, I don't really know, but if he were feeling the same for me, and being unattached put the make on me, I'd run into the hills screaming! I'm not ready for a realationship, maybe never, but I don't feel bad about it, maybe someday. but I ain't looking to hard.

Yeah, I've stopped reaching so hard and looking for the next thing to catch my fancy in regards to stuff. It's okay,being were I am. today, after all tomorrow is a different day.

P.s. Mint dark, (yum) :o)

feather said on

>Be with where you are in fullness.
>Love,
>Feather
>P. S. Dark chocolate preferable.

Feelings of beeing stuck or having a standstill is to me : having feelings i don't understand enough,i don't have enough experience with them to fully understand them!
To evolve in this you have to play with your feelings (sing write perform paint cry etc.) really BE with them to be a fully integrated human beeing.

How wise is not Feather,(tears falling)
love Sanning

HI THERE,
'STAND STILL EH!...don't yer believe it!!! this is a time 'TO GO WITH IN' ...one of the best times....REFLEXTION..a nurturing loving thyself time &&&&&&
TIME FOR DARK CHOCOLATE.... Bonaparte!
&&& TAKE your time, no hurry, scurry rush, injoy the 'still time,
luv Wendy xxx'

Cheers. I feel my heart opening. And I need to be loved.
So goes the song. I tried organic choclate, ugh!
I feel. I am.

Otoharo!

Jaguar, after having already replied to this, it is dawning upon me, that I am presently at a standstill. Thanks for beinging this to me attention. I have come full circle to the place where I am done with third density hang ups, emotions, what nots. Yet, I am not moving into something new, either. I sit here, doing my toning, and still just sitting here!

finality