The Reiki Cafe 

Greetings,

For some reason it annoys me when someone who I occasionally contact or return a call tells me they miss me. It seems sort of insincere. I want to say why? Is this the ego phenomena? Why does this annoy me? Anyone else have this happen?

peace,

Prosperity

prosperity,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- do you ever say "I miss you" to anyone?

>:-}}

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Dear FK,
Yes to ones I truely miss. Maybe it's that this person has such an active social life it seems that how could she possibly miss little ol me? I find this person to be so secretive as when we do together conversation is based on trivial chatter.
peace,
Prosperity

properity,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- it is important to be sure that when we suggest someone else is insincere in particular circumstances that this is not a projection of our own insincerities in similar context

- you said, in part: "how could she possibly miss little ol me?"

- might this suggest some insecurity about your value to others?

- and why, do you feel, she would say she misses you if she does not?

>:-}}

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Dear FK,
Do guys say this to each other? I don't know. I think she just misses me picking up the tab if we go out or helping her as she isn't shy to ask for help. She seems to always be needing money etc.
I appreciate your comments. Maybe I am jaded.
thanks,
peace,
Prosperity

prosperity,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- if you are feeling that she is taking advantage of you then perhaps look at your motivations for provideing her, so readily, with what she 'needs'

- if one does such 'giving' out of compassion then one cannot fault the other person

- if one does such things out of insecurity or one's own need to be needed then one still cannot fault the other person

- we must own our own feelings (and thoughts)

>:-}}

- saying 'no!' to an unreasonable request is part of being assertive

>:-}}

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Dear FK,
She plays people basically and I'm Ok with telling her no and so is she. Again, do guys tell each other all the time oh I miss you, or is this just a female thing? It goes along the lines of over doing it or something. It's hard to respond to that sort of thing for me unless it's one of my kids or someone real close. This person has never even been in my home.
peace,
Prosperity

Otoharo!

Back in the 50's when I was in therapy, there came a time that my therapist noticed that he missed me during the week. To him that was a sign of love. that is my guage. But that does not seem to fit in this case, does it? Might she really love you as a friend?

I miss my kids. that I know comes from love. I miss it when I do not get to talk to my soul mate. We love each other (unsexual). I miss it when music no longer comes easy for me and I must learn a new way of going about it. I sure miss the old easiness. this could also fit with love. I sure love music.

I can not tell you, however, whether your friend is missing you or missing the things you do.

finality

prosperity,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- if you wish to be tolerant and compassionate then do so -that is up to you and don't fret over it

- otherwise, at this point I am not sure I catch what the issue might be and I council let it go (whatever it may be)

>:-}}

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Dear FK,
Yes I do need to let go. It's that ego I suppose hanging on to resentments about this person even though I do also care and miss her. It just seems so gushy fony like to me. I end up saying that I miss her too and that may be what I resent that she just wants to hear it from me. As she is into control and manipulation at times.
peace,
Prosperity

Dear FK,
I believe you hit the nail on the head. Feeling insecure about my value to others. Also she tells this to everyone that she misses them and loves them.
peace,
Prosperity

It seems to me that all of the abov e doesn't really matter. Your angry at yourself for feeling the way you do about the situation. It may be that so your angry at your own ego, that you have one. Be angry, let it burn. smash a few things. then laugh about it, you'll feel better.
It's all a bit silly really. If you want, rant at me a while.
What I've just said may be totally irrelevent to you and your situation. It's just my prespective.
Forgive and forget.
It's just not worth it.

Dear Jaquar1
That is an interesting perspective and you could be right. I never really thought that I could be angry at myself for feeling the way I do. Makes sense. Thanks for your help. Forgiving myself is the key.
peace,
Prosperity