Hello sweet jaguar, *hugs**
Blessings upon you and all your moving through. There is nothing wrong with trying to learn how to love. It may start in your head but if you stick with it and continue to process, you will come to the place of knowing about why you are afraid to love and to love yourself.
Being afraid that love will not be returned is a tough place to be. Or worrying that your love will abandon you. I see that you are moving through the feelings of "love hurts".. Boy I know this well.
Its something I've been working on myself. Its amazing how insidious that lie can be.
Think and reflect then on the love of your Creator.
Because that love will never ever leave you. This is in your mind Male energy but in truth you have to move into acceptance of the energy which is a feminine part of yourself. Everyone has both so your not giving up any part of yourself to receive this love.
Have fun with it. That is how I learned to receive Creators love.
I asked Creator if He/She loved us all the same. I was thinking of Jesus and how great he was. The answer i'd been seeking that I didn't know I was seeking was, "Yes, I love you all the same. My beautiful child, know I love you so much, as much as any child I've created"..... "How could I possibly choose between such splendor as anyone of you"?
So, practice, practice practice. God/Creator is perfect because It loves us unconditonally which we cannot get here on earth.
You see we humans always want something. Creator needs nothing from you to love you like no ones business..:}
Its nice to know that love exists and its nice to know that its awaiting you at every breath, at every moment of your life.
Claim your birth right. Claim your diviinity. Know you have not suffered in vain and know that you cannot do it wrong.
You are loved just as you are and you are beautiful right now.
Blessings,
J