The Reiki Cafe 

Well sadly to say I have had three deaths in my family and I was very close to all 3, 2 happened 6 months apart and 1 the year before my MOm Dad and brother.
Heres the thing, yes i was upsetetc.. people I thought were my friends assured me how I needed to lean on them during this tough time etc....I never heard from them and when I confronted them they turned it around like i was playing victim.
My other friend spoke of how she was at the grocery store during my brothers funeral, I just can't believe how insensitive and callous they are. What happens to people during things like this that makes them runaway???They were there for the ist passing of my Dad and then after that my mother and brother died and I haven't heard from them.
Luckily strangers have been better to me. Do I confront them or is this my sign from God to let these people go in my life they showed me their true colors.

I appreciate your response. Thank you

Dear Eirelasaey,

I'm getting really angry as I think about your post. There are some times when you find who your true friends are. You can confront tham if you feel they're worth it to you, but me?
I'd walk away and never look back.

Blessings,
Roxy

Dear Eirelassey,

I'm not sure of the time frame you're talking of. When my long term boyfriend died, no one really understood that the grief goes on as long as it does.

But as for being in a grocery store during your brothers funderal....

Blessings,
Roxy

Otoharo!

Eirelassey, Had I lived in your community, I would have been there. I am sorry that you have had so many loses in such short time. I have never been let down as you describe. So I don't really know the full extent of your feelings. Of course, neither am I dependent of others for my comfort. You have guides with you who will share your hurts. they are friends closer than humans in bodies. Get close to them at this time, listen to what they have to say. I have had many other hurts and pains that I got through with help from my guides. A lot of help.

Know you are loved by us here.

finality

Hi Eirelassy,

Losing three of your loved ones so close together must have been incredibly difficult for you.

I think it's fear that makes people turn away. Fear of dealing with raw emotions, fear that it might happen to them. People often don't like facing their mortality or the mortality of those that they love. To confront your pain head on and deal with it would also mean that they had to confront their own feelings about death and loss. I guess some people just take the easy option and walk away. They don't know what to say and so they avoid having to say anything at all, which inevitably means avoiding seeing you.

If you miss these 'friends' in your life then perhaps telling them how you feel might bring some closure for you or even re-open communication between you.

Gentle Blessings
Helen

I agree that some people have fear of confronting death, too. But I have found that my true friends purposely support me, no matter how uncomfortable it makes them feel. They know my feelings at the time are more important than theirs.

Blessings,
Roxy

Dear Eirelassey,
Many people are not comfortable contemplating their own death or the death of those they love. Being around someone who is grieving causes a confrontation with those feelings & for some it is too much to deal with.
In all honesty, you may be better off without them in your corner. People who are that uncomfortable dealing with death are not likely to be much help to you.

My experience has been that one true friend is a shining diamond in a sea of coal! It is more common however to be surrounded by coal!

I agree that letting go of relationships that do not serve you is worth considering.

peace & joy,
holobon