The Reiki Cafe 

Is it possible to be interested in Reiki and spirituality while being a narcissist?

I find myself having many narcissistic personality traits yet I 've always been drawn to Spirit. That would be a major contradiction tho because narcissists are described as "unable to love".

What do you all think?

Blessings,
whatever

Dear Whatever,

Narcissism is the love of the self. In extremely narcissist individuals this could negate any possibility of loving another, but that would be a personality disorder, not characteristic of simply having some narcissist traits. (Some narcissism being necessary for an individual to thrive while balancing their own needs with that of others.)

Reiki, when part of a spiritual path, can open up the heart so that love for all living things becomes a part of our being. Perhaps this opening of your heart is something that drew you to a Reiki path?

Or I could be totally off base here...what are your narcissistic personality traits?

Lesley

whatever,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- if you read the 'story' of narcissus you will find that the 'inability to love' is not the issue, per se

>:-}}

- and, much of Reiki practice has to do with compassion - not love

>:-}}

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Dear Whatever,

I would say there's a difference between self love and self absorbtion. It's important to keep the two distinct.

Blessings,
Roxy

Otoharo!

Until we can love ourselves, we can not love anyone.

finality

finality,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- yet the love that is narcissism precludes room to love anyone else

>:-}}

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Otoharo!

Yes, I know, FK.

finality

finality,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- self-love seems to have a wide range of connotations and some use self-love and narcissism interchageably

- I was simply reinforcing that it is important to take stock of the distictions between what is called 'loving oneself' and narcissism

- the words we use are often the measure others take of us and our intentions (though actions will speak louder when they may fall into our field of experience of others)

>:-}}

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Otoharo!

I have been recalling Urantia's statements about our earliest beginnings. During the unfolding of the vegation era and the animal era, love as a process began. With the first humans, women were able to love their offspring. Men, however, had nothing to teach them to love. Gradually they dicovered the relationship between sex and babies, then between their sex and the babies associated with that. As Sex, became effective in provoking or developing love then men joined in the love of family, too. Sex is still a tool for teaching humans to love more than themselves and their offspring.

finality

finality,

/*\ Namaste,

- there are some males that would suggest that the view you have related reflects the epitomy of the sexist mind

>:-}}

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

narcissim is the love of ones self.
Sex is just the icing on the cake.

jaguar,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- sex and sexism are rather different creatures

>:-}}

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Oops, this thread got rather controversial...didn't mean to but then why not...

Okay, to answer Lesley's questions, what I mean is that sometimes I can come cross like self-absorbed, jaded and a snob in relation to the world. I find it ugly and boring and nothing excites me terribly and I wish I could find the exit to Shangri-La or some other utopian community. Of course you might argue that Shangri-La could be more boring than here but that's another story altogether.

I am also very oriented towards aesthetics and value highly physical beauty as long as it's not devoid of content.

I 'm always looking for a soulmate/kindred spirit...Why? Okay, you might argue that I 'm in love with myself and so only someone like me would ever do...

I looked up a couple of articles on narcissism since I posted this...Well, narcissists almost never admit they 've been wrong and rarely seek professional help. I 'm not like that at all. There are other traits that don't fit so I 'm rather relieved.

I guess in the end, there is healthy narcissism and then there's the pathological condition. Obviously, I don't mind displaying traits of the former.

Blessings,
Whatever

whatever,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- a healthy sense of self means one also has a decent sense of others and their rights and privacies, etc

- a healthy sense of self allows for compassion

- narcissists have a very warped sense of others (and themselves, of course)- compassion is impossible for them

- all people have some varying degree of the traits we associate with narcissism - a pinch of this, skoshe of that

- as the degree of the traits increases so does the pathology

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

firekeeper

Nameste, by the way.

What is what you have just said have anything to do with my comment?

And maybe what my comment was was taken out of context and also not relevant to disscussion at hand

By and by, putting all that aside, how've you been?

firekeeper said on

>
>
>
>
>- a healthy sense of self means one also has a decent sense of others and their rights and privacies, etc
>
>- a healthy sense of self allows for compassion
>

>
>- all people have some varying degree of the traits we associate with narcissism - a pinch of this, skoshe of that
>
>- as the degree of the traits increases so does the pathology

Hello Firekeeper,

Well, you just said it, it's a matter of degree as all humans display some narcissistic traits. I deff have compassion for people, I believe we are all equal before God,
and whenever I can I help others. But some times I just want to forget about the world and if possible escape it...

I 'm an idealist and often get very frustrated that this world is anything but idealistic. It's just that unlike most people, I become stubborn and refuse to be actively part of it. Some people call that depression.

Blessings,
Whatever

whatever,

/*\ namaste :-}}

- idealism for whom??

>:-}}

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

I forgot I was talking to you! lol

Well, idealism for everyone naturally. I want to experience joy, peace and prosperity and I want the same for everyone else as well. So that I don't feel sad seeing people have less than me. And they don't feel sad seeing me have more.

Is that idealistic enough for ya? ;)

Blessings,
Whatever

Whatever,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- more (or less) of what??

>:-}}

- I wonder whether those who, you would say, have 'more' than do you are feeling their situations are ideal?

- what is ideal, afterall??

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Okay, here's a question for you all...if I decided to have a nose job(something I 've been thinking about a lot recently), would you consider that as totally narcissistic and somehow weird for a Reiki healer?

I believe everything about our faces/bodies expresses some element of our psyche. Like in my case, I feel the bump on my nose probably expresses my need to control and patronize(which of course stems from fear deep down). I 've been working on those personality traits over the years but if I 'm still preoccupied by the shape of my nose, it must that I haven't been making much progress...

I 'm at this point in my life now that I 'm a bit fed up with the spiritual path I 'm on. Good things seem to take ages to materiaze whereas if I "slip", I get almost instant karma. Anyway, my point here is I would go ahead and do it if I were not scared of the anaesthesia and the post-op healing period. So...I don't know...I mean, Reiki has not helped me look at my nose any differently all these years...maybe the actual post-op "hassle" is the working out of karma that created the need for a bump in the first place?

I so want a beautiful nose...so I don't have to run every time I see a camera...

Blessings,
Whatever

whatever,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- one view is that a nose job is generally about vanity (which is only a small corner of narcissism)

- there are those who say we are all 'born beautiful'

- and that we all do not easily find ways to see that

- as for ugliness?? We make that ourselves in a myriad of ways

>:-}}

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Otoharo!

I love noses with bumps. Why don't you let us see your nose? Francisco always said you can tell an old sole by the size of the nose. That is why Jews have great noses!

finality

firekeeper said on

>- one view is that a nose job is generally about vanity (which is only a small corner of narcissism)

Another view says that we should all bring into the world as much beauty as possible...so if I get a more symmetrical nose, I 'll be radiating more beauty to everyone around me...non?

>- there are those who say we are all 'born beautiful'

Sure...but for some reason, there are people out there who are considered gorgeous by the majority. And they are not necessarily spiritually correct or angelic.

>- as for ugliness?? We make that ourselves in a myriad of ways

True...even "objectively beautiful" people can appear ugly if they behave ugly...

I guess I 've been behaving *non-angelically* in recent lifetimes to end up with this bump...*sniff*

Blessings,
Whatever

finality said on

>
>I love noses with bumps. Why don't you let us see your nose? Francisco always said you can tell an old sole by the size of the nose. That is why Jews have great noses!

You mean, post a pic on the site....Ohhhh...not sure I 'm up for that...Besides, my fear of cameras means I have no recent pics.

You know, my nose definitely looks Jewish even tho I 'm not! lol

Blessings,
Whatever

whqatever,,

/*\ Namsate :-}}

- you said, in part: "Another view says that we should all bring into the world as much beauty as possible...so if I get a more symmetrical nose, I 'll be radiating more beauty to everyone around me...non?"

- only if you are beheld as such!

>:-}}

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper