The Reiki Cafe 

Dear Ones,
For some reason I tend to have a hard time dealing with a person who gets into stress and fear. The latest incident was this person woke up and found that someone had thrown a rock into their window and acts like it's so traumatic. The police were, called etc. culprits were found and this person is still so emotional about it the next day. This person is not honest with me at times and so there are trust issues so I'm not about to run over there and haven't been asked yet feel guilty like what can I do. I feel drained.
Any tips or comments would be appreciated.
peace,
Prosperity

prosperity,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- to be truthful, I am not sure which of you is more upset over the the rock thru the window

- the stresses you report feeling yourself sound as if you are projecting a lot of your own fears into the situation - and thus are reacting as if the rock had been thrown thru your window - which is not to say that if my neigbor were burglarized that concerns for the security of my house would not be alerted

>:-}}

- but, I could be in error about the projection, of course

- hope this helps

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Dear FK,
I could be projecting my own fears however this person has low self-esteem and very little empathy for others so when I'm discussing my day to day stuff, I get told by this person, that they don't like to hear anything negative even if I'm not being emotional or negative. It's always like no big deal if something happens to anyone else but them. I call this person less and less.
peace,
Prosperity

prosperity,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- if I were to assess some else's level of self-esteem, for example, as I perceive that it plays into their personality and behavioral dynamics, I would want to be reasonably certain it was not my own levels of self-esteem I was describing (again being aware that projection happens largely unconsciously - but being aware of this may help me 'awaken')

>:-}}

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Otoharo!

Francisco Coll, in Inner Peace Movement explained this phenominon as this. Some people dump on others. The way thAey do this is as you describe telling another culprit, so to speak, all their difficulties simultaeous dumping their anxiety on them. We were taught, to stop them when they begin and tell them you do not want to hear it. Walk away if you have to, get up and leave if you have to. We spent one retreat event practicing this. When someone started, we simply said, excuse me, and walked away. Before I had said a word one time, I walked over near him, and he stopped a conversation with someone else and pointedly walk away from me. I got the point.

Another time, we found ourselves involved in a game when we entered the grounds for a retreat. Whatever we said to the first person we met (staff were doing the greeting of people) we were told whether we went to heaven or not. At the close of the event, we had learned about people's dumping their anxiety on others. Luckily, I went to heaven.

Is your question really, why do you take it on? Perhaps knowing in advance that this person dumps, Avoid them.

azalee

Dear Finality,
I have been doing that yet this person likes to put a guilt trip on me about that too. It's a relief to hear your experience. The last thing I heard was that this person was sorry to have bothered me. Oh geez. I feel better now having this forum. And i will consider FK's comment on projection of self-esteem as well. Why do I take it is a good question to ask myself.
thanks,
Prosperity

firekeeper said on

if I were to assess some else's level of self-esteem, for example, as I perceive that it plays into their personality and behavioral dynamics, I would want to be reasonably certain it was not my own levels of self-esteem I was describing.

The above could easily be incorporated in some Famous Thinkers' quotation page. ;)

hmm, it seems to me that there are two types of people with the title of drama queen, tagged onto their butts.
1. The man or woman or child who have a severe hang-up, can't control their neorousis, and generally having a bad time.
2. The man or woman or child who has a severe hang-up, can control their neorousis, but having such a good time with attention grabbing that they don't give a whizz about the other person, with the fun of being noticed.

Hmm, which one are you?

some folks certainly love & strive on soap operas (living them, I mean).....if they couldn't live that way.....