The Reiki Cafe 

Hi there,
Anyone have any opionions on circumcision for a 14 year old as my son wants to have one due to his health class saying it could cause infection and he doesn't like the way it looks. His father and I are willing to be supportive and does anyone know of kids this age who have had one and how they felt afterwards or any personal experience with this as it would be appreciated. I told him infection is rare but he wants one & is not interested in sexual information although I have had him read a website. He thought it was gross.
thanks,
Peace,
Prosperity

prosperity

- circumcision used to be done, in some cultures, for health reasons or as rite of passage to 'manhood'

- it was and is still done in other cultures for 'other' reasons (typically Jews are circumcised) - and I know that in the days of Hitler and also post WWII some Jewish males were circumcised to make them less identifiable as Jews - of course an infant has no say-so

- I have heard of adult men requesting elective circumcision

- perhaps your son wishes to 'look' more like most of his pals when they are in the gym locker room???

- perhaps he has heard other rumors about uncircumcised men besides the health stuff?

- yes or no, it is no big deal to me - but he should know there will be some 'discomfort' for a while and infections are more likely post-surgically than if no surgery is done (true for any sort of surgery)

- but generally, tho, today in the West at least, I doubt health can be put forward as a strong pro snip-snip arguement

- hope this helps

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Dear Firekeeper,
Yes it helped. I just don't want him to do it if he has some self-image problem that he needs to work through and ends up regreting his decision later. I know of adult men who have it done but wonder if they end up regretting it. I've also heard it's quite painful. Maybe it would be a good time for me to teach him meditation.
thanks for your opionion, I may be making too big a deal about it in my own mind.
Peace,
Prosperity

Billions of people living on this planet do not get circumcisions and they manage to live perfectly normal lives. I think it is the education system and Western culture that feeds this kind of rubbish to their children. Tell me, how is it that something perfectly normal, something a male child is born with can lead to infection? It is simply FUD.

I think this is adolescent insecurity. He is being bombarded by media and his peers with messages that make him second guess his own beauty. He will grow out of it.

firekeeper said on

>- but generally, tho, today in the West at least, I doubt health can be put forward as a strong pro snip-snip arguement

prosperity,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- another avenue is to make an appointment with a surgeon who might do the procedure and let your son talk to him and get some pretty straight poop about pros and cons and post-surgical time

- considering that you might be making too much of it yourself is food for thought

- good luck to your son whatever his choice

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

aum,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- for myself, I do not know how normal are the lives of every uncircumcised guy viv a vis infections that can occur in some climates where certain fungi are not uncommon

- fungi that can grow between the toes and around the groin area certainly can get under the foreskin if hygiene is not up to snuff (again, the issue is probably of small consequence in 'the West' as incidences of foreskin rash, etc are also likely relatively few - but not unheard of)

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

lol! Well, without getting into the details of all kinds of infections, I think that health class has overstated the case a bit and most of it has to do with personal hygiene, as you said. If the young boy has gone this far in life without any problem, why be alarmed now?

firekeeper said on

>- for myself, I do not know how normal are the lives of every uncircumcised guy viv a vis infections that can occur in some climates where certain fungi are not uncommon

Dear Firekeeper,
He did go to an emergency room a couple of years ago due to him wanting to go swimming so bad he didn't want to stop to buy a bigger size and his foreskin got caught in the tight swimming suit netting and had to be surgically removed and the doctor at that point suggested circumcision. Then he recently went and the doctor asked him why but didn't give him much information other than he would be sore but then I wasn't there. His dad was there.
I wondered about Jewish circumcision but my son says no. He acts as if it's a secret subject privy between him and his dad only.
thanks for your support!
Peace,
Prosperity

Dear Aum,
I agree, as why is he so alarmed now! Maybe he has just been giving it food for thought and his health class was the catalyst for him to decide as maybe he thinks he has to as I noticed the ezcema on his inner arms which he never had before so he may have been bothered by it recently but when I asked what was bothering him he said nothing then I found out he talked to his dad about wanting it.
It's annoying that teachers would say this but then it is possible that an uncircumcised guy could give his partner infections too as well due to moistness and the absorbability of that skin which is highly prized by the pharmacuetical industry. My mom also says that about infection and cleanliness.
thanks for all responses,
Peace,
Prosperity

prosperity,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- obviously you either left out facts at the gitgo or are just adding stuff as you go

- frankly, I really cannot tell which

- be that as it may???

- jewish circumcision?? What on earth is that??

- apart from any ritual the a Rabbi might bring, the actual procedure is pretty universal in the West, AFAIK

- a christian circumcision looks just like a Jewish one, for Coyote's sake!!!

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

aum,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- Moi?? Alarmed??

bagl

- yes, the issue is the lad mentioned - though the story appears to have changed a bit and not insignificantly, perhaps

bagl

Reiki All Around,

All Blessings,

Firekeeper

Perhaps your son & husband should see a urologist to discuss it. Would not expect your son to want Mom along on that visit though.
The American Association of Pediatricians (AAP) issued a statement in 1999 saying that the benefits of circumcision are not significant, that it is not medically necessary, and that the AAP no longer recommends it as a "routine" procedure.
Talking to a professional may help your son decide if its something he really wants.

peace & joy,
holobon

Dear Prosperity,

I got mine caught in a zipper too when i was just 7 or 8 and it was a living hell because it happened in the middle of the night and i was staying over as a guest in someone's house. gosh i made such a scene... luckily the elders in the house were able to remove the zip without any pain.. but i was left blushing for days.. :) since then ive had no accidents, but ive gained a whole new respect for zippers and the importance of underwear... :) i think anyone who has had a similar experience would take care in the future as such things happen.

what is strange to me is that instead of teaching kids how to properly clean what they have, health class instead recommends to cut it off. ****sigh****

anyways all this aside (sorry to ramble), i do hope that your son will confide in you and vice-versa. maybe if there are other issues which are yet unclear to you right now, these should be explored yes? I think underneath this "symptom" you are slowly unraveling something deeper. Go on. This is the right path.

love love love

Dear Firekeeper,
There is a procedure called a partial circumcision and I was informed if I want it to get a Jewish doctor from a Jewish hospital as there is usually one in every state as they are good at doing partials due to sensitivity issues part of the glans in showing as opposed to all the glans or head showing. I have seen enough penises on the internet now. But I agree either all or nothing- no partial as that sounds a bit absurd.
I mentioned the zipper part & him seeing a doctor as you suggested a Urologist which I may do with my son if he wants although he did see doctor already and went to another appointment with his dad after that with a Urologist to schedule surgery. From what I get is from my husband and son. So, I did add on and leave out facts as I could go on and add more facts as it does seem to go deeper as someone posted.
A kid could also get his penis stuck in the netting for all I know. I've gotten my belly skin caught in a zipper when I was younger as well.
Peace,
Prosperity

prosperity,

Hi,

Until a child is 'of age' it is the perogative and responsibility of parents to decide on such matters (even though there are occasions when the desires of the child may be accommodated). Are you and your husband at odds over this?

Cheers,

RC

Hi Rc,
Yes we are a bit at 0dds as he and my son did not include me nor do they include me (my husband of course is the culprit) as I'm the mom, and wife and why shouldn't I be involved in going to talk to the Urologist as someone stated as if it's too personal. Yet I don't want to bring undue fear yet I am glad you brought up that important point yet I don't want to create a space to make me the "resident bitch" in my family. In fact my husband seems angrey I even brought it up to my son as if it's a hush hush event. I am worried about my son, if he'll regret it; infection etc., yet my husband seems to not want to talk about it and acts like it's no big deal.
Peace,
Prosperity

prosperity,

Hi,

I do not know the history of your marriage and who makes what decisions and has final says, etc and I am not an accredited marriage counselor but if I had to guess I'd say some additional asseretiveness on your part might be appropriate. I realize from what you say your husband might not be entirely happy at first but, personally, I feel you have as much right and say-so as your husband especially if your son's wishes are only secondary (as he is a minor). Being assertive is not being bitchy though some folks used to having their way all the time might react that way (tell him to get over it!)

:)

Good luck,

RC

Dear RC,
Good idea. My son adores his dad and does not want to go against him although my husband is very supportive of my son so I may have to be the one to put the foot down in a loving manner although it could cause a divorce. At least it's another option. Hopefully my son and his dad will come around. thanks for your support!
Peace,
and blessings your way,
Prosperity

"There is a procedure called a partial circumcision"

Is that like a mock turtle-neck and the full circumcision being like a crew neck collar?

Dear Arati,
Anything to make a buck in the medical world.
peace,
Prosperity