Healing response
I was reading a story this morning that prompted my train of thoughts to this post.
The guy in the story was born with a condition known as 'Hydrocephalus,' which includes headaches and swelling around the brain. In his time was generally fatal. He was one of the first recipients of the 'shunt'. A new- born, imagine that; bless him.
He went on to have many operations through out his life. He spoke of the sadness and anger he went through for the lack of empathy in the healing profession for the pain he was going through.
He later goes on to 'blame' God for his being born with Hydrocephalus and the suffering he had endured. He speaks of the few people who reached out, as if they could understand he wasn't just a number, but a human being with only fear and pain as a companion at times. He speaks of his parents not visiting in later years, afraid he was going to die.
I was touched deeply by this man and held back tears as he spoke of his experience.
His name is Randolph Markey in Boston Mass, if you wish to send healing by the way.
This in turn prompted me to think of my own healing and the ways I have grown spiritually; healing myself through compassionate action, forgiveness, and responsibility for my pain, and surrender to Divine Will. My steadfast belief in this principle has showered me with lots of joy and healing that no previously held concepts could ever prepare me to accept as possible.
I have held firmly to the knowledge that to forgive is to heal. This clears the way to create a new reality, physical healing. I have dug my heels in and refused to give up on seeing the results of my devotion to healing in truth.
I spend lots of time in reflection upon the meaning of forgiveness. As well as my fears, the things I Still blame myself for, while stubbornly clinging to self -anger, sadness, humiliation, and shame. Sometimes I get so lost in my sorrow of the experience. Learning to release the need for self- serving punishment will take time to heal. Healing my fear of loss is something that will also take time.
All that old conditioning is going to have to be truly cleansed before one can make a smooth transition as a more joyful part of the human experience. By learning to accept our part in creation, we can find peace and acceptance of ourselves.
I have to remind myself there are no martyrs in the world and we choose no matter what we may think. I am seeing that each action causes a reaction that are stepping stones to a potential higher awareness.
With holding forgiveness, blaming and punishing through unforgiveness are one of many outdated ego beliefs that are brought up for healing. Otherwise, we are swept up on the ole karma wheel for continued healing lessons. Make forgiveness your way of healing self- masks.
You are meant to make mistakes in order to grow. Allow yourself the freedom to make mistakes. Its important to understand in the spiritual realms, there is no blame. Nor should there be any here. There is no unforgiveness, only lessons in finding out who you are. How can you love yourself in freedom if you have no freedom to find out who it is you are? If there is no one blaming us, why do we continue to use this form of punishment and control?
The time is now to leave these old ways of being, and start integrating the awareness that all illness can be healed through forgiveness and surrender. Our higher selves always work with us through love and upliftment, not through shame and loss. Love yourself as your higherself loves you, unconditionally. If you are not feeling uplifted, ask for healing from Source. You are loved unconditionally and you deserve to feel this love. Trust that you are truly precious and a special part of Loves Creation, a perfect part of Mother Earths healing.
This conscious shift may not happen over night. It took me nine months or so to heal my hyperactive thyroid condition. I'd been given a radioactive pill to basically 'kill' it yet, I refused to be on pills ( now for Hypothyroidism) for the rest of my life like I'd been told I would be. Each time I spoke my truth, I would smile and say, Good I'm healing my thyroid as I speak my truth.
In all honesty, it never occurred to me how this healing would look and I assume this is for the best. I just held the faith and knowing that I wasn't about to take those little white pills forever! When the Dr's told me that my thyroid was regenerating itself, I was shocked and overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. Because I had no worries of how this would turn out, so I didn't' spend time worrying about the outcome which turned out to be a fully regenerated thyroid. I had no doubts in the least that I Was Healing my thyroid and I was healed through faith and my beloved Creator.
We are in pain not because of something we have done and this is what we deserve, but because of the fear attached to the experience. We are afraid to see what our actions have created. Instead we hold onto fear of worthiness and refuse to release it as a life lesson and find ourselves to blame.
It is important to lead yourself back to the truth. There is nothing to be afraid of, no shame in your experiences, and you are loved so very much. Much more than we can ever possibly be aware of on this side of the veil.
To continue….
Not only am I healing my physical body, but also spiritually I'm enriched because I see there IS a higher power at work and believing that I Can Be Healed has dramatically enhanced this truth within my life experience.
Yet, there are times when my pain cannot be relieved immediately. I feel contracted (auric field) and full of pain, mentally and physically many times. I forget the many tools that I have held deep within my own forgiveness, the Grace in which Creator bestows upon each of us daily. The disturbance of my peace is always present(sometimes mental suffering ) when I am trying to release and shift my beliefs towards a more loving perspective of myself. I tend to find myself impatient with my own thought process which leads to anger and fear. Round and round I go, until I let go.
When I am looking at all these things that are coming into my awareness to be released, its suddenly as if I've forgotten an important ingredient and I cannot surrender it to Spirits hands. Meanwhile, Spirit is with me, telling me that I'm forgiven that it is not necessary to suffer any longer, but I am in my old way of being and I mercilessly battle with my self to hold onto the pain. As if I need to be made accountable for all my wrong doings and hurt myself in the process.
Yesterdays love lesson # 6, 348 being a prime example. :}} While meditating,
instead of releasing the things that were coming up to be healed by forgiveness, I was seeing the big parade of my 'wrongdoings' and tightening myself around fear & self anger, deep hurt, and blame; doing battle with my ego self. Boy there is no winning the ego battle.
My hurt over having done what I felt was bad is why I lost my remembrance in forgiveness and surrender. I still fall back on my faithful servant, punishment.
Then I remembered myself. Thank Goodness! My guides, Creator, angel, someone, somehow got through to me. It was if a voice said, 'Let yourself be forgiven Susan, holding yourself accountable in this way is saying your not worthy of forgiveness. You know you were long ago forgiven. Now forgive yourself. Surrender to Love and let my love heal your hurts.'
Of course, then it was like a light bulb went off. ' Oh yeah, I can do that, can't I? Why am I holding this?' That old response conditioning of holding onto my fear of unworthiness still raises its head.
So I forgave myself of the things I was holding onto and then I felt at peace. (Sigh of relief)
I wanted to post this to bring awareness of your ability as Creator Gods/Goddesses and your ability to heal on the physical as well as the spiritual level. I also wanted to mention that taking responsibility for your own pain is a way of taking responsibility for your own ability to Heal. This is a good thing. There is no blame in the spiritual realms. Only loving acceptance of what you are choosing, seeing it as totally appropriate for your lifes situation.
You are not being judged by your pain, you are being praised that you are brave enough to have these experiences so that you may learn the higher teachings that you have come to receive in this lifetime! Spirit doesn't think that any one way of expreincing truth is better than another, they believe your way is always the best way.
Be at Peace, Know even your pain is a portal for you to move through so you can expand your ability to heal, therefore creating a higher self- awareness.
Look at these things from as a positive experience so you can find the blessing within them so you can remember who you truly are.
In time you may find you do not need to hurt yourself to heal, and the transition from one expression to another will be smoother, more peaceful. Your new response to making a miss-step will be to see it as experience that is to be seen as growth, not loss. You deserve love and respect for the work you are doing here at this time. Know you are on plan and a part of the plan.
This is a time of expanded awareness and these shifts require great bravery to move through. But each time you see your illusions are there for your highest good and learning, you align your awaress towards truth and you lift the vibration of the entire world. (think 100 monkey experiment)
You will find it easier and easier to shift your awareness into a higher perspective because you are not so afraid of the consequences (self generated punishments) that will follow if your not 'perfect.' You will simply remember its ok to choose again without debilitating self regrets.
Its important to remember that just because you created something that is not what I want to continue experience does not mean, you need to shift into blaming yourself, the experience just Is. It does not mean through guilt you need to continue a cycle of self- abuse and continue to live in the past. This is not how Spirit wishes to teach you to love yourself.
Think of how you treat your child as it is/was learning lessons and which way helped them learn quicker? Was it through joyful interactions and love, or was it through verbal abuse that lead to fear of punishment for getting it wrong?
Those in the spiritual realms are Masters of Unconditional love and that's how we are loved, Unconditionally.
**Smile you are being loved at this moment!**
Know you are fully capable of healing anything in your life, because you are co-creating with Source every day. Also be aware it might take time to heal this way in the beginning. But each step is a step forward towards healing if you believe you can heal your fears through forgiveness. Know You Are meant to have anything in this lifetime you feel worthy of attaining. You are beloved, sacred beings here and you each have the gift in your ability to create your highest truths. So be fearless in your ability to create joy, and abundance, because each of us are truly blessed and guided in the perfect ways.
I love you all so and I hope that this rings true for some of you. I felt very guided to post this today as I have been working on this belief for a long while now and the joy I have felt in healing with these truths are indescribable.
Mitakwye Oyrsin,
Susan
