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The Sock-Thief God

posted at 12/15/2001 1:07 AM
ID# 17993
Healing community,

As an undergraduate at Benedictine College, I met a fascinating man who was the father of a beautiful friend. In 16 years of Catholic education, she was the only person who acutally suggested I read the Bible. Well, I was nervous meeting her father, he had a good position, was creative, etc. I will never forget, his first question, "How many are in your family?" I said 6.

Then he got to the edge of the chair, he had the look of one the brink of the possibility of discovering the Holy Grail:he hit me with question #2: "Did your family have a system to keep socks together, so as not to have a large assortment of loner, sock widows?"

Sock widows???????????????????

Whewwwwwwwwwww...

I was a bit taken aback. Not your everyday question. I mumbled some response & put the experience in the back of my mind to ponder or just hang out a bit.

Well, one night ... I made up a story to my daughter. I told her, "Hey, Bec, we got churches, sage, bell-ringer, crucifixes, Reiki, Holy Water, communion wafers, Jerry Falwell ~ our planet is full of this stuff, tons and tons of ways for us to reach up, out, over there, you know, to The Great Beyond, the mysterious, the Great IAM, or [I am from Kansas] That Guy Behind The Curtain Who We Are To Pay No Attention To!!

But


drumroll, drumroll, drumroll~

How do you think God worships???

~

[this question is called "A TOTAL SET-UP FOR ANOTHER ONE OF DAD'S EMBARASSING STORIES - STORIES I ALWAYS TELL HIM TO TELL TO HIMSELF SILENTLY, TO GET HIS MUCH NEEDED LAUGHTER-RELEASE OUT OF THE WAY AND TO


NOT


NFLICT HIS STUFF ON US]

Now, the meat: "The Sock-Thief"


Lights dim, a drum rolls, somewhere in the dark a Coyote yelps La Marseillaise in Arabic.

"Hey," said God [who talks to GodsSelf all the time so that the pray without ceasing bit will be part of God's practice too]

"I feel like a bit of worship."

Here is what God does ...

God delights in sneaking into the houses of all people ~ and randomly stealing socks. God takes these socks to a Sock Museum, where God looks at them to remind him of his love for us, of the beauty in ordinary, un-special stuff like what covers our feet.

God MOST ESPECIALLY loves stealing dirty socks. He knows we are over-prone

[holobon, IS 'over-prone' A WORD?? PLEASE FIND REIKICAFE GRAMMATICIAN]

to harsh self-judgments and stinky feet, bad odors don't bother the Big Guy at t'all. Remember, cafe parents, how it was not gross, but fascinating, when your newborn had 'alternative elimination results' ~ even excretement was part of celebrating our new joy-bundles. I secretly think, for the Sock-Thief God, ... THAT-ROLL-DOWN-THE-HILLSIDE [shamelessless stolen from "Princess Bride"] ABANDONING love never abates.


the end [or so I thought]


~


I went to the Crown Center in KC this evening to hear my daughter sing with a choir. My son wanted to ice skate ~ he likes Michelle twirling on the tube. I went with him. We are in a bit of a cash flow ebb, so I had just enough [I thought] to get us on the ice, me in sneakers.

I have had one ice experience [never fall backward and if you do never hit the back of your head to the ice first]. But I am of the "feel the fear and do it anyway" school and went forth boldly where no ice~rink~trauma survivor had gone before. In the line a young man used the F-word loudly. I glared at him and patted my six-year-old son on the head.

Suddenly I looked at the prices and rules. I had to get skates on [shoes only not allowed] and I was 47 cents short for payment. Not to panic ...


In my pocket, I had a Pete Seeger/Arlo Guthrie Live Conert cassette which I started to verbally market to the [get this] young man who had almost inadvertently spiced up my son's verbal vocabulary.

I got 50 cents and they said keep the tape. I started doing deep breathing and rapidly reciting The Jesus Prayer ~ (I would have self-Reikied but I did not have enough hands for the distressed parts of my anatomy.)

I paid my money and then the real WHOPPER:


I realized I was not wearing any socks


Immediately I vaulted into survivor mode. If this 6-year-old did not get on the ice THIS EVENING we are talking serious volcanic meltdown. So, hiding my bare feet by keeping them close to the counter, dodging behind several people and finding a quick seat, you will never, EVER, EVER IN A BILLION YEARS believe what happened next


rolling drum


right there, under the exact seat I chose, were a dirty, soaking wet pair of socks that fit me exactly. Now I could go on and on about how I fell down once ONE THE WAY to the rink and other stuff, but I know priestess, {Hi Louise} and if I get to OUT THERE [like having Coyote's singing Gregorian hymns\hers (inclusive nouns). She will tell me to


TAKE A NAP.


So BEFORE Louise can reprimand me I am going straight to bed. As my little guy would say, "Na, na, na, na, na"


Don't you guys wish we could type tone inflection?

p.s. I could also have subject-named this godawfullongpost


'nuff


gassho all around


Beau

Also, many thanks for Reiki to friend Eleanor. She is doing as well as expected. Knowing she is in the kind intent of my community gives me peace I cannot describe. Forgive diatribing about Reiki on an anything but site, BUT holobon said those tricky snipes were hard to glue down topically as well

really it now

re: The Time-Thief God-Beau

posted at 12/15/2001 9:12 AM
ID# 18000
This is a reply to: 17993
Hi Beau,

You are really living high right now aren't you.

I read this whole post looking for a point.

I can't believe I read the whole thing

:o{

I also can't believe that you put on someone else's dirty wet socks... eeewwwwwwwwweeeeeehhhhhhhhhwwwwww.

I bet the idea that we would all read this entire thing sent you into gales of laughter!

You are probably still laughing and multiplying the number of minutes it takes to read the entire post by the number of people that you estimate are reading it, and figuring the number of years that amounts to, going to be totally flushed down the toilet of time.

bagl

How easily we are amused.

:o}

Holiday greeetings to you and yours,

Priestess

re: The Time-Thief God-Beau

posted at 12/15/2001 10:35 AM
ID# 18006
This is a reply to: 18000
Oh my ... thinkest thou mine epistle be giveneth witheth tongueth in cheek.

Oh, my priestess, muse of my inanity, did you not know how I tossed and turned, sweated, trembled and had nightmares.
My wife has a screen saver code that she puts on the computer because I have a habit of wandering to strange websites and posting nonsense.


Now, just to get clear, I am offended at NOONE calling my posts nonsense. I simply want some suggestions for improvement. My goal: to develop PRIMO-nonsense. I have even started reading [oh my Coyote] the newspaper. Found out the Kansas Governor needs to cut some superfulous programs in the social service realm and has decided that providing oxygen for some folks who need it to sustain life is 'extraneous.' I am going to start a nonprofit "All life forms should breathe." Or not ...


Now, back to my horrid night. I was SSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOO ashamed of my post. I called the loner sock a sock widow. That implies that the sock take by the Sock-Thief God is

rolling drum

always male.


Oh, willeth burning embers of the forest fire of patriarchy ever get washed down the toilet with discarded socks. {I am a trained journalist, do not try mixing these metaphors at home}.

Love to you Louise.

Not to worry.


I be the golden one. You say. I take in. Now live out to all.

So mote it be.


beau

re: The Time-Thief God-Beau

posted at 12/15/2001 12:06 PM
ID# 18009
This is a reply to: 18000
Amen Sistah!!!

~ Laughs and Laughs and Laughs~

I am just happy that its not me this time. :}}


Love and grins to you all,

Jahnavi

re: The Sock-Thief God

posted at 12/15/2001 12:18 PM
ID# 18010
This is a reply to: 17993

Dearest Beau,
You crack me up, my friend.....
So, when I die I will see alot of socks up there in God's closet, eh? Does that mean that kleptos are doing God's work? LOL.

Your wife is indeed a wise woman :)

And Louise didnt say it, so I shall have to: NAP TIME !!
Rest well & deep,
holobon

re: The Sock-Thief God

posted at 12/15/2001 7:25 PM
ID# 18022
This is a reply to: 17993
Greetings Beau,

I think you are mistaken about all the socks ending up in a museum. For some reason, they all seem to end up on my bedroom floor.

Namaste,
Roxy

re: The Time-Thief God-Beau

posted at 12/15/2001 11:53 PM
ID# 18031
This is a reply to: 18000

Ah, the point.

Since you do not speak Beau [I could teach if you were willing to co-create a Biblical Tarot deck to resolve the seeming contradiction between NewAgeyness and traditional Christianity]

I will give more clues.

But you need to know who Michael Valentine is and one verb.

Here goes. I know there are alert Reikian readers out there who will helpest thou.


Thou art God. God are Thou. No-thing created or uncreated is not-God. Only in the groking of this, and in becoming less diadactic and more loving, has this specific Tarot deck the possibility of manifesting.


Now.

Duality confuses us. We have separte nouns for teacher, student, for healer, healee. They are illusions. We are One being presented in seeming particularity for one purpose: to send forth a cosmic query as to the limitless wonders of glory that is our individual and collective truth.


Now, that is the point.

Yet one more thing.


Do you know how many spaces on this planet that are truly sanctuary for the Beau-man? I am constantly reading, testing to see if this cafe is safe and I communicate most with those who make me feel safest.

Beau

re: The Time-Thief God-Beau

posted at 12/16/2001 2:42 AM
ID# 18037
This is a reply to: 18031
Beau,

namaste /*\

And this is to reiki as:

1. food is to dieting

2. jumping is to rope

3. wearing dirty-wet socks is to sleeping

4. all of the above

:o}

sleep well little beau-man

:o}

Blessings,

Priestess

re: The Sock-Thief God

posted at 12/16/2001 2:09 PM
ID# 18066
This is a reply to: 17993

Dear Beau,

One is always safe when one is with God.
God holds us most closely when we tremble in our fear, its just that we shake so bad, we cant even sense His hands cradling us.
There is a time for rest for each one of us...see Zizzr's post on the anything but board.
The warmest blanket of all is love but only those blankets woven with forgiveness last.
Most of us have a hard time weaving with forgiveness, especially for ourselves.
Bu hey, what do I know, I associate with SNIPES!! HeHeHe...

Peace, Love & Joy,
holobon

re: The Time-Thief God-Beau

posted at 12/16/2001 11:07 PM
ID# 18078
This is a reply to: 18037

Many thanks for thy gentleness, fair priestess ...

Dis. application process sometimes obscures the light of my receiving filter. Many blessings to you and yours. Fair Holobon's simple-sweet weaving of a forgiveness blanket enfolds me.

Hey, have you ever asked someone you love to treat you like a little kid and make the bed over you? My kids love that ... I am thinking of asking Lorna if she would give it a try. You can borrow my virtual blanket anytime ...


Beau

re: The Sock-Thief God

posted at 12/17/2001 9:37 AM
ID# 18099
This is a reply to: 17993
Beau,

/*\ Namaste :-}}

- one view is that "missing" socks simply have taken a short sojourn (some would say detour) into..........

- The Hozone

>:-}}

- most return unharmed, I am told.

>:-}}

Reiki all around,

all blessings,

firekeeper

re: The Sock-Thief God

posted at 12/18/2001 6:23 AM
ID# 18163
This is a reply to: 17993
Dearest friends,

God uses them in his sock puppet theatre....i hear at the moment he is doing "jack and the beanstalk" for xmas....

;)

Citybird

re: The Sock-Thief God

posted at 12/19/2001 12:04 AM
ID# 18200
This is a reply to: 17993

Oh, my, you are truly a beautiful piece of work!
Big Love,
Feather