The Reiki Cafe 

I wanted to thank everyone who has sent energy to me and my husband over this difficult time in our lives.

At this point, he has decided he wants a divorce. I only half understand his reasons, and am very confused, hurt, scared and feel very alone.... He says he wants this to be as painless as possible, and he's going to help me get on my wobbly feet. He says he wants to stay friends in each others' lives. But since he's decided, and basically turned down my request for a seperation first, I don't really have a lot of choice in the matter.

I'm not sure at this point what to do.. I basically have three options....

One - stay here (southern Cal) and find a place and a steady job (massage ain't cuttin' it right now). Pro's - I can practice massage in my spare time, I'm close to the ocean, I have the comfort of still being close to Reed, I know lots of great Reiki people. Con's - I basically hate it here. Not a lot of close friends, and they all live pretty far away (and I hate driving freeways in southern Cal)

Two - go back to Portland (where Reed and I lived for four years) and stay with a friend for a couple weeks, find a place, find a job. Pro's - I'm surrounded by a fairly good sized network of friends, including my soon-to-be-ex-mother-in-law; there are a lot of good paying jobs; there's Oregon Health Plan for health insurance till I get on my feet; there's the knowledge that Reed will most likely move there in a couple years; and I basically love Portland (bigger city, lots to do). Good spiritual community too. Con's - it's full of memories of Reed and I (painful), it's far from my family in WI (very bad thing), it's very dark in the winter (seasonal depression will most likely hit me there, and winter's coming up soon).

Three - go back to WI, where I grew up and where my family lives. Pro's - I'll have the undying support of my family (this weighs heavily), I can probably find an okay job. Con's - I've been gone a long time and don't have many friends there anymore. I dislike the cold winters and snow, and dislike the hot summers and humidity. I am terrified of thunderstorms, especially when I am alone, and I just overall don't like Madison as much as Portland.

So I'm having a really difficult time right now - I would appreciate any continued Reiki anyone can send.... My life is basically shattered in pieces, and I have no sense of direction. I'm thinking in a fog, can't eat, can't sleep... and I wonder how on Earth I am going to get through this.

God help us both....

Tidesong

Dear Tidesong,

My heart goes out to you. If I were there I would sit beside you with my arm around your shoulder & listen.

The fact that your husband does not want a seperation first is forcing you to process all of this rather quickly. Your mind & your heart/spirit will need some time to catch up.

Perhaps its too soon to make a decision on what to do? When we are in deep pain we sometimes do not realize that there are ALWAYS other options that we can not see. ( I can not give you advice on what to do, but another option did come to mind & Im sure there are more for you: can you stay in California (which you seem to love) & move, even if temporarily, closer to friends so you will have a support system?)

Maybe spending time on yourself right now would be good. Even if its only just a few moments here & there..a warm bath, a massage, a warm cup of the finest tea or coffee you can find & some soothing music. Try to being your spirit back a little at a time, gently & with love. Treat yourself, Tidesong, as you would your best friend, if she were going through what you are now experiencing.

The mind will come up with so many twisted paths on this journey. Release as much negative thought & emotion as you can. Maintain as many contacts with POSITIVE people as you can. Ask for hands on Reiki from your friends. This is not the time to be shy about asking for help.

I will send some long distance to you later this morning, Tidesong. Please feel free to email me anytime you want.

peace, love & joy,
holobon

GREAT BIG ((HUGS))
It is always tougher when decisions are made for us, and with little warning. But, you must now face what has been given to you right now. This is a process, one that will take time to assimilate and work through. Give yourself time, patience and love. I agree with what holobon has written. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that come up, and there will be plenty.
There are plenty of pro's and con's to each option you have listed. I know given time, you will decide the correct plan of action for you. I usually think when you have a major life change going on, its not the best time to undertake another major change such as relocating. As you give it time, things will become clearer out of the fog you are now in.
I shall send distance Reiki, prayers and Love your way!
((HUG)) & Blessings......z

Namaste Tidesong,

May the comfort, guidance, love, light, healing and peace of Spirit be with you both. May the peace and love of Spirit fill your hearts , souls and beings. My thoughts, prayers , and Reiki will continue for both of you.

Reiki Blessings and Love,

Earthsmist

Namaste Tidesong,

I am so grateful to hear from you, even though the news you mention is not what you hoped for. You have been occupying my thoughts often since your last post requesting healings...and they were sent out.

Experience tells me that you will make it...you will come out on the otherside...definitely for the better. Things are what they are, and labeling them will not change them, at least not for the better. The place you are moving into in your life is not an easy place, nor is it a comfortable or familiar place for you. But, time will pass.

Keep in mind that any decision you make, as to location, is not final. It could also be temporary. Perhaps though if you take some time to yourself and grasp where it is you stand, not where your memories stand, you could possiblly feel where it is that would best suit you. In this process, have you considered using the aid of Bach Flower Remedies. There is one called "rescue remedy", usually taken shortly after you body has received a shock...physically or emotionally, etc. but I think there maybe some help in it still. I'm certain that there are others that would be more specific to what your need(s) is(are) at this time. If you are not familiar with them, then perhaps you can seek someone experienced with them, like a practioner. I personally have bought some books and consult them when needed, but by no means do I have the expertise to advise. Also, you could use crystals to help you help yourself...eg.rhodocrosite - some of its uses are regarding love, and peace. I am certain you could use both.

If there is anything I could do for you at this time, please let me know. I am certain that all on this board are supporting you at this time.

Sending you blessings, always
Peace, Love, Harmony, and Health.
Dina

Tidesong

Samara said it all: we all support you at this difficult time. When you are down, remember the people at this cafe who are on your side.

firebird

Tidesong,
Oh, my heart goes out to you. I am sending Reiki, and pray that your guardian angels will work overtime to bring you peace and comfort. I just read somewhere that the only way out of pain is through it, and what a difficult journey that is . I echo advise already posted...don't feel you have to make a permanent decision just yet. Do what feels like the most nurturing thing for your heart, and realize any action you take is not cast in stone. Ask your guardian angels to lead you to the most nurturing place.
Love, and hugs , very big ones,
Feather

Dear Tidesong,
First, I love "tidesong" aas a email addr.... sooo sweet. Would you condiser visiting a suburb (if that) of Seattle sor a bit to get your bearings? I have a space you could use and be "for yourself" yet not totally alone... interssseted?? Email me at my addr...

I will be ssending Reiki to your situaiton, with the intention that the greatestt good eb achieved, which is not always what we dream of.... you know...
luv to you, Reiki for you and yourss, as well as situations with blessings of joy and light,
a Working Angel
Tracy

Dear Tidesong,

(Wrapping you up in a Hug full of love)

My heart and love go out to you....I don't know what else to say other than try and take it just one day and one step at a time. Reiki and Seichim are on the way to you for as long as needed....please know that you aren't alone and you are surrounded by love.

Take care.

Hugs and blessings
Helen.