Jennith,
Blessings.
I am Reiki I also - cannot send Reiki energy but can send kind intent, thanksgiving and prayer. Consider.
What if our 'abusers' or 'mistreaters' were simply misdirected? What if their original intent was good, albeit fumbling? For me, in a similar parental background, my judgments toward my mom and dad [who were innocent once AND WOUNDED by others] was much more harmful to me than the actual abuse.
A simple tale ~
This story was sent by one of my thirteen-year-old daughter's friends. It would be, for me, an acceptable scriptural replacement for the Genesis version from which theologian's wrested the doctrine of original sin - somehow children and pancakes is more palatable to me than misappropriated fruit combined with fig-leaves & shame-covered adults ...
~
.. and THE BEST PART IS: nobody here is evil, just filled with innocent good intent ~ like all of us.
~
Six-year-old Brandon decided one Saturday morning to fix his parents pancakes. He found a big bowl and spoon, pulled a chair to the counter, opened the cupboard and pulled out the heavy flour canister, spilling it on the floor. He scooped some of the flour into the bowl with his hands, mixed in most of a cup of milk and added some sugar, leaving a floury trail on the floor which by now had a few tracks left by his kitten.
Brandon was covered with flour and getting frustrated. He wanted this to be something very good for Mom and Dad, but it was getting very bad. He didn't know what to do next, whether to put it all into the oven or on the stove, (and he didn't know how the stove worked)! Suddenly he saw his kitten licking from the bowl of mix and reached to push her away, knocking the egg carton to the floor. Frantically he tried to clean up this monumental mess but slipped on the eggs, getting his pajamas white and sticky.
And just then he saw Dad standing at the door. Big crocodile tears welled up in Brandon's eyes. All he'd wanted to do was something good, but he'd made a terrible mess. He was sure a scolding was coming, maybe even a spanking. But his father just watched him. Then, walking through the mess, he picked up his crying son, hugged him and loved him, getting his own pajamas white and sticky in the process.
~
"all we all want to do is something good ..."
~
For me, when wounded, deeper understanding always calls. Even the most seemingly evil act has buried within it a good intent: the domestic abuser seeks to communicate his/her woundedness ~ to be less alone in the pain, the alcoholic aches with a hunger that is spiritual in nature, and reaches for a container in the physical realm that by nature cannot satisfy, the rapist/abuser has a heart not yet capable of understanding how to give love, to direct passionate energy, to connect respectfully or claim his/her part as a sacred thread in life's web.
~
It is only my judgment[s] that keep[s] me from seeing this *so clear good cause* within those wounded who strike out, or those who turn inward to destroy themselves and hurt others who love them & get in their destructive path:
~
the best is when I apply this gentle, loving self-regard to myself and my fumbles, when I fall short of perfect pancakes:
~ oh, to be wise like a child again...
May the longtime sun shine on you, Jennith,
All love surround you
& the pure light within you guide your way on
Beau
