WARNING, WARNING, WARNING. THE FOLLOWING IS ENTIRELY TOO MUCH INFORMATION ABOUT ME. DO NOT READ THIS BEFORE OPERATING HEAVY MACHINERY. READ ONCE EVERY 4 HOURS IF YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE FALLING ASLEEP.
Describe your personality.
although i am very capable and do enjoy being serious at times, i think one of my best qualities is my wackiness. I'm certainly a spontaneously funny person, but that's kind of hard to illustrate in writing. So here's what I'd talk about if I was at an open mike night or something... but it's my only material, so if you make it through this, you're set! :) ..ahhemmm... who do you think would make a better basketball player: jesus or moses? personally, i'd put my money on moses. first of all, he'd have that natural ability to part the defense. although i'm sure that jesus would be a fan favorite, could we really expect him to give a hard foul with the game on the line? perhaps jesus would be better as a hockey goalie. "Gretzky is all alone! He shoots... Jesus saves!"
And as you can tell by the picture above, Jesus is also a very avid golfer. Hey, he's gotta have something to do on Sundays.
If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?
i wish i was less of a perfectionist and wasn't such a cheap bastard... although being a cheap bastard does come in handy in my line of work.
What is your insight into spirituality, and how do you practice this belief?
I can't believe it's not butter; I try to get myself to believe that it is butter.
Do you belong to any organizations, clubs, teams, or special interest groups?
i volunteer for the make-a-wish foundation... they're amazing. i recently
played barney the dinosaur at the holdiay party. if it wasn't so rewarding, i would have kicked my own ass. for 2 christmases, i got to play elmo!
Favorite pastime? Sport? Hobby? Diversion? Just what goes on Sundays at your place?
well, on every 1st and 3rd sunday of the month, i blow up the kiddie pool, fill it with blue jello and invite the girls over. but it's kind of hard to do that in the winter. (not to mention the fact that I don't have a backyard) i like comedy clubs. i love being spontaneous... i've been known to dress up in my friend's bathrobe and go foodshopping at 2 in the morning.
How would you characterize your political leanings? (i.e. Democrat, Republican, Reform, Libertarian, Independent, radically left/right, don't care).
I tend to fall down when I lean too much.
Where do/did you attend high school and/or college? What are/were your favorite subjects in school?
I went to the State University of New York at Stony Brook on long island... I was an economics and sociology major... I graduated in 2000.
List some of the places you have lived or traveled.
well, i went to europe for 2 months in 2000. I was in england (cambridge,
london) brussels, amsterdamn, france (paris, chartres, nice) germany (rhine, berlin, munich) austria (vienna, salzburg) prague, italy (venice, florence, siena, pisa, rome, pompei, cinque terra) spain (barcelona, sevilla, madrid, toledo) and Morocco (Fes and Tanger) If anyone reading this is from morocco, could you please explain to me why people insist on killing pidgeons with their bare hands in public so that they have dinner?? Or was that just a crazy lady that I ran into?
Since then, I've taken separate trips to Ireland, Iceland and most recently to Croatia, Bosnia and Hungary.
In May, I'll be going to Thailand. I'll gladly being back a can of malaria for anyone who's interested.
What type of work do you do? How long have you been in that line of work? Do you enjoy it?
I'm a credit counselor. basically, i take deadbeats off the street and get them out of debt :) I also have a part time job tutoring SAT math to rich bastards. i am strongly opposed to standardized tests, but hey. they pay a lot, so what the hell :)
i have plenty of stories about summer jobs from hell. there was the time when i was paid to remove the m&m's from happy meals (actually bueger king calls them kid's meals as I found out last night) because they were discolored. and who could forget when i took and quit two jobs in the same day. in one of the jobs, i had to rotate pieces of paper. you gotta love temp agencies :) and i had a full time job for a month back in october of 2000 but got fired for taking a nap during my lunch break. it was a blessing... i like my new job a lot more.
If you could pick one super-human power (such as comic-book characters have) what would you choose?
The ability to have an unlimited supply of onions in my pockets so that the world will be filled with onion-y goodness.
Someone may want to say "hello", but not know how to get the ball rolling. Ask a question that someone can answer in their first letter to you.
Try pushing the ball harder.
What are some of your life-long goals? Where would you like to be in 2 years? In 5 years?
my lifelong dream has always been to open up a restaurant
called the "Happy Hobo." hey, hoboken, hobo... hmm.
*Are we there yet papa smurf?
not much longer
*What would you consider to be the 8th wonder of the world?
Kenny Roger's beard. I envy any person who has had the privelege of stroking it.
*what have i left out?
hmmm. well, i like long walks on the beach, kenny g, small puppies and diamond rings. oh wait, i'm a guy. what was i thinking? i like manly things such as beating my chest and going to monster truck rallies. and spitting into urinals... you can't forget that!
(ok now for some reason, the interviewer begins to shout)
FAVORITE BOARD GAME: Guess Who!
FAVORITE HOBBY: entering beauty pageants, but only if I win 2nd place and collect 10 dollars in monopoly money.
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: when you look into someone's eyes and they give you the same puppy dog look back
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: totally, unless we're on vacation. but
they're very weird.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE: Dr. Evil
ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS: lefty...it's all starting to make
sense, huh? :)
WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR: the scooby doo mystery van
great... how much do I get paid for this interview?
